


Trek

by M_E_Scribbles



Series: The Trek Saga [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Hiking, POV Clarke Griffin, Pandemics, Post-Apocalypse, Protective Clarke, Slow Burn, Survival
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-16
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-09-08 23:42:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 79,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8867899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/M_E_Scribbles/pseuds/M_E_Scribbles
Summary: Clarke Griffin and her friends are on a class trip. They've journeyed from their home in Ohio to Washington D.C. to learn all about the history of their nation. Then, a new plague strikes just as the world is plunged into darkness. Now they must make the long walk home. On the way, they confront troubles, both from the new world and the old.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a completed story that I've spent a long time writing. It wasn't originally a Clexa story but a friend convinced me to convert it.
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are welcome.

I had absolutely no desire to go anywhere or do anything. Especially if anywhere or anything had to do with spending more time with my classmates in a museum or at a lecture or whatever my teachers had planned for the day. The bed in my hotel room was too comfortable for me to voluntarily spend the day weaving my way through huge crowds and staring at statues of dudes who had been dead for centuries. The ten-hour bus ride to get to Washington D.C. from Ohio had been more than enough bonding time.

The hour after my roommate nagged me into consciousness was spent formulating a plan to persuade the chaperones to leave me behind. All I’d been able to come up with was the small hope I’d find a male teacher and convince him I had horrendously bad cramps. It wasn’t much but guys hate hearing about cramps.

Knowing I needed to make an appearance soon I was close to reaching the level of motivation required to get out of bed. I’d even started to throw back the blankets when a breaking news story about the newest flu strain caught my attention. People all over the world were terrified by the mutation. Apparently influenza and Marburg virus merging to create a new super virus was incredibly scary.

The day before we left home I’d decided to look Marburg virus up because I wanted to know what the big deal was. The nausea and vomiting from the flu was something I was used to hearing about every year but combined with the fever and bleeding orifices from Marburg virus and the newly christened Angolan Flu was a nightmarish illness. Clicking on the tab to see pictures had definitely been a mistake.

There was a series of knocks on the door as the Angolan Flu story ended and the news anchor began talking about the sun with a huge smile on her face.

“Go away Octavia!” I yelled.

Since the teachers were probably busy with other students, I knew the person on the other side of the door had to be my best friend. She was the only person on the trip brave enough to risk disturbing me. I’d never been a morning person. My classmates knew just because I’d been awake for more than an hour, something they’d know because my roommate would proudly announce her bravery in waking me, didn’t mean I’d want to leave my room. Especially not if it meant I would be forced on another lame field trip.

When she didn’t knock again I assumed Octavia had walked away, an unusual response coming from her but not entirely unexpected. The news went back to showing pixelated pictures and video clips of Angolan Flu victims. Staring at the pictures, I hardly had time to register hearing the door open before I was launched into the air when Octavia took a running leap onto the bed. I landed with a thump on the floor between the beds.

“Octavia!” I fought my way out of the tangled blankets and into a sitting position. “Go away.”

“You said that already Griff.” Octavia laughed as she stretched out on my bed.

“How did you even get in here?”

“I stole Ophelia’s key at breakfast.” She held it up. “My sister can be awfully dense you know. She didn’t even look twice when she saw me going through her jacket. She only wanted to know what I was looking for.”

“What did you tell her?”

“Chap stick.” She held it up too. “Wouldn’t have had to steal it if she’d just have let us room together in the first place.”

I reached for a pillow so I could make myself comfortable on the floor, hoping Octavia would take the hint and leave me alone. She grabbed the other end of the pillow and shook her head. I fought for the pillow for a few seconds before letting go and allowing Octavia her smug smile of victory. Then I reached behind me and grabbed a pillow off Ophelia’s bed.

As I settled on to the floor I yawned. “Go away.”

“Clarke.” Octavia sang my name. “Oh Clarke.”

“Octavia!” I pointed to the door.

“Come on Griff. Mr. Jaha is going to do roll call in ten minutes. He’s going to send Ms. Indra up here if you’re not down in the dining room soon.” When her mild threats didn’t have the effect she wanted, she tried a different approach. “You’re going to miss breakfast if you don’t run down there right now. You know you have to eat so we can go. Everyone knows you’re impossible when you’re hungry. Do you want a repeat of the Ford Theater?”

“That kid deserved what happened.” I turned my head to glare at her.

Octavia rolled her eyes, “That kid was eight.”

“An eight year old jerk.” I muttered.

“Go get ready.” Octavia pointed at the bathroom. “You have two minutes.”

“Where are you people dragging me off to today?”

“Today’s all about the Holocaust Museum.”

I sat up, my interest finally piqued. “Really?”

“Yes, so let’s get going!” With a grin, Octavia pulled me to my feet and gave me a little shove toward the bathroom.

Her enthusiasm was not contagious. I hadn’t wanted anything to do with the class trip. I didn’t need the extra credit or the credit hours. I’d wanted to spend my spring break with my family but Octavia begged and begged until I gave in. I didn’t even realize until a couple of weeks before the trip that my eighteenth birthday would fall right in the middle of it. By then it was too late to back out.

The United States Memorial Holocaust Museum was the one place I had been looking forward to visiting. That part was actually personal for me. My grandma’s parents were survivors of the concentration camps during World War II. I’d never actually worked up the courage to ask them for more details, mostly because my mother or grandmother would stop me whenever I tried. Nothing like being yelled at in a mixture of English, Yiddish and Slovak to make you shut your mouth. So I hoped to learn something at the museum. Where better to look for help than the Holocaust Museum?

After getting dressed and pulling a brush through my hair I paused for a moment to check my reflection in the mirror. I couldn’t fight the sigh. Not that I was a bad looking almost eighteen-year-old girl. I was a little above average height, with average blonde hair that fell to just below my shoulders, and average, if not slightly big, blue eyes. I did have a small beauty mark above my lip; one that Bubbe promised me would someday drive all the boys crazy. Then there was the scar that ran through my right eyebrow, a gift from my older sister Bennet. I’d interrupted her reading a few times too many one day and she threw a hardback copy of _Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince_ at me. I hadn’t ducked fast enough.

Honestly though, most of the sighing was because of my muscles. I had been weight training for over a year, hoping to snag a scholarship for soccer or softball and that meant I had more muscle definition than most of the girls in my school. That made me stand out more than I liked for reasons I didn’t like.

“Griff! Let’s go! Five minutes until roll call.” Octavia called through the door.

I sighed again, looking away from my reflection and gathered my things. Leaving the bathroom, I grabbed my shoes, varsity jacket, and room key. “As if I care about roll call. I want to make sure I get some food. No repeats of the Ford Theater for me.”

“That’s what you’re wearing?” Octavia made a face as she stepped into the hallway, pausing to hold the door for me. “Can’t you put on your shoes before we go to the place where everyone is eating?”

I glanced down at my jeans and softball team t-shirt. “Don’t pull this on me Octavia. What I’ve got on is fine. There’s nothing wrong with it. Not all of us have to overdress for everything.”

She spun in place, showing off her designer clothes. “You mean not all of us can look this fabulous Griff.”

I loved Octavia. She’d been my best friend since we met on the first day of kindergarten when Octavia stole my Barbie in retaliation for my taking her Duke G.I. Joe action figure. She would only make a huge deal about wanting her action figure back whenever the other kids were around. The second day of kindergarten, I handed her my Barbie and smiled when she shyly offered Duke to me. We’d been best friends ever since. But, honestly, sometimes she baffled me.

Most of the guys at school seemed to drool over her. She was shorter than me by a few inches, had the kind of long brown hair you only see in  commercials and these amazing eyes… Sometimes they looked blue, sometimes they were green. I could never figure out how they changed.

Pulling myself from my memories, I noticed Octavia glaring at the shoes in my hand. Rolling my eyes, I left the room, hopping down the hallway while I slipped into my favorite pair of double upper Chuck Taylors. “Just because you want to wear what I can only assume is called business casual, doesn’t mean I have to do the same.”

“Sometimes I don’t know why I bother with you Clarke.” Octavia sighed as she followed me, helping to steady me when I wobbled on one foot.

“Love you too.” I blew her a kiss over my shoulder.

****

Ophelia, Octavia’s twin sister, had a bagel and a hot cup of tea ready and waiting for me when I entered the dining room. Maybe I wasn’t as close to her as I was to Octavia, but we were more than close enough to know each other’s preferences. Even that was usually reluctant on my part.

I slid into the seat and bit into the bagel. When I saw her glaring at me I offered a mumbled, “thanks!”

“You wouldn’t wake when I tried to rouse you.” Ophelia stood over me with her hands on her hips and her foot tapping. I raised my eyebrows and bit into my bagel again to keep myself from responding. Apparently the mom was making an early appearance. “It’s rude to ignore people Clarke.”

“People ignore you because you say things like ‘rouse’ Ophelia.” Octavia slid into the empty chair opposite me. She smiled sweetly at her sister before picking up my steaming cup of tea and taking a sip.

“Mr. Jaha?” Ophelia shot a glare at Octavia before she raised her hand. When Mr. Jaha pretended like he hadn’t heard her, she turned to a different chaperone. “Ms. Indra?”

Ms. Indra didn’t answer either so Mr. Kane spoke before she could turn to him. “Yes Ophelia?”

“Octavia has our room key.” Ophelia said primly, holding her hand out to Octavia.

I watched Mr. Kane struggle to hold back a sigh. “And?”

“She’s not rooming with us Mr. Kane!” Ophelia’s eyes grew round as she explained what she saw as an obvious wrong. When Mr. Kane only blinked a few times, his face carefully blank, she stomped her foot and screeched, “Mr. Kane!”

“Really Ophelia?” Octavia snorted. “Are you going to make him tell you why it isn’t a big deal?”

“You’re not rooming with us!”

“But I’m still a girl!” Octavia smiled and made jazz hands at her sister.

I laughed in to my tea. Ophelia gave me her meanest look. I could only shrug my shoulders and keep sipping my tea. It was the only thing that could save me from having to talk to Ophelia more.

Mr. Kane seemed to agree with my course of action. I saw him bob his head in a small nod a few times and chuckle into his coffee.

Our classmates fell silent. For a few minutes the only sound was that of students shifting in their seats. No one would look directly at our table. They all knew it wouldn't take much for Ophelia to start lecturing. Ignoring the tension the teachers took advantage of the stillness for a quick headcount before herding us to the charter bus waiting for us.

I took a seat with Octavia in the last row, not because we wanted to be stereotypical cool jocks but because we knew it’d be far away from Ophelia and the other know-it-alls in the first few rows. They were already peppering Mr. Kane with questions about the museum as he sat with a hand over his eyes. I’m sure he wished he could escape to the back of the bus too. They’d only follow him though and he was too nice to make us suffer with him.

Octavia and I found we had company when Luke Forrester, easily the most popular guy in our class, sank into the seat ahead of Octavia. Lexa Woods, Luke’s cousin, took the seat in front of me. Luke and Lexa were definitely looking to be stereotypical cool jocks. That was sort of their thing.

Luke reached over the seats to give Octavia a high five, “I’ve never seen your sister shut her mouth so fast!”

Octavia shrugged, “I speak the truth.”

“Still, it’s nice to see her without an answer every once in a while.” Luke laughed.

When Lexa and Luke sat down and faced the front of the bus I whispered, “I get that you were frustrated but you have to stop doing that Octavia.”

“Doing what?” She crossed her arms over her chest and stared out the window.

“Antagonizing your sister.” I put my hand on her arm. “I know how annoyed you’ve been with your room assignment but taking it out on Ophelia isn’t going to help anything.”

“I hate that she’s our class president. That power went straight to her head.” Octavia muttered.

“But I love you.” I grabbed her hand. “So knock it off. It’s my day to be all depressed and sad. Go back to criticizing my outfit already. Don’t steal my thunder.”

“Well, your outfit is pretty over done.” Octavia laughed and wrapped her arm around my shoulders to give me a squeeze. Within moments, my head was on her shoulder and my eyes drifted closed as I started to daydream. I was imagining myself on a walk with my parents when I heard Luke and Lexa turn in their seats again.

Lexa sounded almost thoughtful, a miracle to be sure, when she said, “She’s right Octavia.”

“Yeah.” Luke said. “Trying to force Ophelia into admitting she made a mistake isn’t going to help you.”

Octavia sighed and leaned her head against mine as the cousins turned around and began to talk quietly.

I opened my eyes to study them through the crack between their seats. If someone were to pass Luke and Lexa on the street, they’d never guess they were related at all, let alone that they were first cousins. They did have these matching crooked grins that clearly stated they were looking for trouble or maybe that they were nothing but trouble. That was the extent of their similarities.

Luke was stockier, his linebacker position on the football team called for him to have more muscle mass than Lexa’s forward position on the soccer field. Luke kept his black hair short and neat, I think because he didn’t like having to fight with it. Lexa’s brown hair was longer, past her shoulders and always held back by these little braids. The most noticeable thing about Lexa were her eyes, while Octavia’s eyes were constantly shifting from blue to green and everything in between, Lexa’s were this intense shade of green that you couldn’t escape from.

The biggest difference between the cousins was that Luke was African American, or rather that he was bi-racial. It wasn’t a big deal to those of us who grew up with him or anyone in our hometown but he’d had to deal with plenty of comments and looks whenever we left the safe haven that was our little village in northwest Ohio. There had never been a huge mixture of race in suburban northwestern Ohio so people stare.

I drifted between sleep and alertness as we drove to the museum, contemplating how relatives can be so similar and so different. Octavia and Ophelia were like two sides to the same brown-haired green-eyed coin but they didn’t have all that much in common. Luke and Lexa were so alike in their personalities but anyone who didn’t take the time to get to know them could never recognize that. Most of the time when people met me and my sister Bennet for the first time, they assumed we were twins.

After a few attempts at staying awake for the short drive, I gave up and drifted off to sleep knowing Octavia would let me have my day. She wouldn’t want to ruin the moment. She knew what this particular part of the trip meant to me. She would try to make sure nothing got in my way.


	2. Chapter 2

We arrived at the museum without any real difficulty except maybe the inner city traffic, which was not tour bus friendly. Some of those centuries old streets were nowhere near wide enough for two lanes of traffic let alone a bus! Once unloaded the teachers asked us to form groups of six for the day and waited while we moved into tight groups.

Even before Mr. Jaha finished his announcement my cousin Raven had shrugged off her friends and came to stand next to me. She and I were close, tell each other almost everything close, but we didn’t socialize much at school. She was much more into comics, graphic novels, and building computers than she was interested in the books, movies, and sports I was interested in.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“Moral support.” She murmured.

“For you or for me?”

Raven raised one shoulder in a shrug, “Both I think.”

Of course I was beyond thrilled when Luke decided to be in a group with me. Well, me, Raven, Octavia and Lexa anyway.

“I’ll be your sixth!” Ophelia practically sprinted to our group before another student could take her spot, almost tackling me when she skidded to a stop and grabbed on to me.

“Great.” I extracted my arm from her grip.

“So much for an easy time huh?” Lexa nudged me with an elbow to the ribs.

I nodded once and might have managed a weak smile before heading in Mr. Jaha’s direction to get nametags for my group.

“What’s her deal?” Lexa asked as I walked away.

“She doesn’t like you.” Octavia replied.

I laughed. Octavia, blunt as always, was right. I wasn’t a huge fan of Lexa Woods. She was too confident for her own good, like she thought she was doing a girl a favor by smiling or winking at her. I’d never been overly impressed with that kind of attitude. Unfortunately I couldn’t hear the rest of what I was sure would be an incredibly entertaining conversation as I moved further away.

Mr. Jaha had to ask me three times who was in my group before he handed me the right nametags. He kept trying to give me Clark Abernathy’s nametag instead of my own.

After the third time he handed me Clark’s tag I shook my head. “Mr. Jaha, I’m Clarke with an ‘e’ and boobs.”

“Miss Griffin!”

I don’t know who was more shocked by my statement. I could only stare at him and smirk a little, hoping he didn’t try to suspend me or something. I shouldn’t have bothered; he wouldn’t even look at me. Clark thought it was hilarious.

“Well, the letter ‘e’ isn’t really hard to miss Mr. Jaha. Not if you look closely.” I tried to fill my voice with confidence, hoping he’d think I’d meant to make a joke.

He shook his head. “You’re going to get me fired.”

“You’re not my type Mr. Jaha.” I laughed when he finally handed me the right nametag.

As I walked back to my group I saw Lexa glaring at Luke who was rubbing his arm. When I was close enough to hear I realized Lexa was snapping at him.

“It’s not like it’ll do her much good.” She growled.

“What won’t do who much good?” I asked as I handed Octavia her nametag.

“Griffin! Didn’t see you there.” Lexa jumped and turned to face me. “We were just saying…”

“Nothing Griff.” Octavia smoothed his nametag onto his shirt.

Raven nodded. “It was dumb gossip stuff.”

As I was pulled toward the entrance, I hear Octavia saying, "She hates being called Griffin. She's got two older sisters Lexa. She's Clarke. Call her that."

****

We’d only been in the museum for thirty-two minutes when Ophelia’s hand shot up for the seventh time. It was irritating even if it was expected. She was the ultimate class know-it-all. She had been ever since we were kids. Probably because she was one of those girls who looked like she should be beyond dumb. She worked a little too hard to disprove that. She’d always been extra zealous in her attempts to ensure everyone knew she was smart.

“Well actually,” she spoke loudly so she could be heard over the groaning, “I read an article that said Hitler’s grandmother was Jewish. So according to the Nuremburg Laws of 1935 he was Jewish. So he killed his own people.”

I rolled my eyes and went back to studying the pictures on the wall. I didn’t know what I was looking for but I hoped I’d recognize it when I found it.

As usual Octavia did her best to cut Ophelia off, wanting me to have some freedom to explore the museum, free from her sister’s constant corrections and directions. Her many attempts failed miserably.

Her frustration finally got the best of her after Ophelia’s hand shot into the air for the eighth time. She pulled it down and bit out, “Ophelia, we get it! You’re smarter than the rest of us. Stop talking.”

“He’s wrong Octavia!” She stomped her foot.

“You mean the guide who has been trained and worked here for years doesn’t know as much as a high school senior?" Octavia scoffed. When her sister nodded adamantly she could only shake her head, “Fine, he’s wrong and you’re right. You’re the smartest person ever. Now stop!”

Of course she didn’t stop. It would have been totally un-Ophelia-like to stop. She argued with the tour guide throughout the entire museum. According to her he was wrong about almost everything, I think she’d have argued with him over his own name. To preserve my own sanity, and to avoid strangling Ophelia, I slowly dropped to the back of the group and ignored her as much as possible while continuing to look for a familiar face in the photographs.

There’s a part of the museum that looks like an extra wide hallway. On the second story there’s a bridge that cuts through it. I could see below to the ground floor and above there was at least fifteen feet to the ceiling. The walls were completely covered in pictures of every size and shape. I motioned groups around me when I stopped in the middle of the bridge, determined to look at every one of them. They were mostly prewar photos but I still looked at them all. The families in the pictures needed someone to remember them, even if it was only their nameless faces.

Shortly before it was time to leave, before we reached the Hall of Remembrance, I finally found a picture that struck a chord with me. It must have been taken near Ravensbrück within a couple of days of liberation. It was a group of seven skeletal women. Off to one side was a young woman who looked like she wasn’t much older than me. I stopped in my tracks and stared. Someone ran into me, almost knocking me over. As I stumbled forward there were suddenly hands on my hips, steadying me.

“Sorry Griffin.” Lexa smiled when I looked back at her.

I took a step forward, distancing myself from her and shrugged before turning back to the photograph.

“Griffin?” Lexa moved so she was standing next to me. “What’re you staring at?”

I ignored her, leaning closer to the picture. My eyes focused on the young woman’s face. With seventy years and sixty or so pounds off her frame, Bubbe stared back at me through decades of time.

I could feel Lexa’s eyes studying me hard as I scrutinized the picture. “Griffin?”

Lexa took a small step back when I finally looked up at her. My watery eyes glanced up at her, daring her to laugh at me.

“Clarke?” She raised a hand. I don’t know what she was planning on doing with that hand, but something in my eyes made her drop it back to her side. She glanced back at the picture. “Why is that tripping you out?”

“Tripping me out?” I echoed as I blinked the tears back.

“Yeah. You’ve been staring at every picture since we walked in this place. What’s the deal?” Lexa stuffed her hands in the pockets of her varsity jacket.

I stared at her. For the first time ever I actually studied her eyes, trying to figure out what kind of answer she wanted. Light and fluffy or deep and meaningful? Finally I shrugged, “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me?”

Octavia and Raven approached us before I could respond. The huge smile on Octavia’s face was utterly out of place in this place of inexcusable history. “Clarke! Did you see that guide finally shut Ophelia down?”

When I shook my head, Raven sighed, “that’s too bad. It was pretty epic. I swear I could hear her teeth cracking when she shut her mouth.”

“What happened?” Woods jumped at the chance to break the tension between us.

“She said something dumb and he called her out on it.” Octavia replied.

“First he sort of muttered ‘ _Der mentch lernt fri redn un shpet shvaygn_ ’ and then she demanded to know what he’d said so he said louder ‘ _Nem Zich a vaneh_!’” Raven was laughing so hard she was snorting.

Woods looked confused by the Yiddish Raven was throwing around. “What does that mean?”

“The first part meant something like ‘humans learn to speak early and to keep quiet late’ and the second part he told her to jump in a lake.” I replied. The idea of Ophelia being put in her place in a language she didn’t understand made me smile. The mental image of her demanding to know what the guide had said almost made me laugh. I was sorry I missed it.

“The best part was when he said ‘ _Tu mir nit kayn toives_.’” Raven said.

Woods turned to me, obviously seeking a translation. I snorted and said, “Don’t do me any favors.”

“I won’t.” She replied, confused by my statement.

“No, that’s what the guide told Ophelia.” I shook my head. “What favor was he hoping to avoid?”

“She stomped and said she was going to find a different guide. One that actually knew the history.” Octavia explained.

We stood in a little circle, laughing quietly at Ophelia’s encounter with the guide. Raven repeated the phrases a few times while Octavia tried to memorize them. She wanted to be able to say something to Ophelia when she was getting overbearingly intelligent with people. With a grin stretching her lips Octavia put her hands in her pockets and strolled over to Ophelia and her friends. She must have said some version of one of the phrases to her because she glared at her before turning on her heel and marching off in the opposite direction.

Raven wiped a tear off her cheek and turned back to me. “So what were you two talking about when Octavia and I found you?”

I took Raven’s hand and pulled her over so she could see the picture of Bubbe. Together, we stared the picture. After a few minutes Raven squeezed my hand and walked away. With one last glance at Lexa I followed her toward the exit.

I had a quick conversation with Ms. Indra before I entered the Hall of Remembrance. I wanted a few minutes alone inside with my cousin. She was already standing by the wall where the Auschwitz was emblazoned. Together we lit candles in memory of our loved ones. I waited while she said a quick prayer in Yiddish. I studied the names of all the camps and massacre sites until Ms. Indra appeared in the doorway and quietly told us it was time to go.


	3. Chapter 3

Our excursions to the National Mall to eat lunch were something I looked forward to everyday. Our group would gather under trees and relax before starting the second half of the day. After seeing the picture in the museum I wasn’t in the mood to socialize. I watched the other students move some tables together as a couple of the chaperones went to buy food for everyone at one of the many concession buildings. When they returned I took the hotdog, chips, and bottle of water Octavia held out for me. I could only smile when she asked me if I was okay before retreating to sit under a nearby tree to eat my lunch in peace.

Luke almost instantly disturbed me. “So what did Lexa say that ticked you off so much?”

I chewed the bite I’d taken carefully. Then I took a sip of water. “Excuse me?”

“Why are you mad at Lexa?” Luke rephrased. “She’s harmless Griffin.”

“Harmless. Okay.” I nodded.

“So are you going tell me?” Luke crouched in front of me and bent his lips into a smirk.

“No.” I took another bite of my hotdog. Honestly, part of me knew I shouldn’t have been upset with Woods. There was no way she could have known what was going on inside my head so there was no way for her to know what not to say.

I’m sure Luke hoped his smile would change my mind. After I didn’t speak for a minute he shook his head and went to sit with Octavia and Lexa.

I went back to thinking about the picture of Bubbe and the other young women. Could the museum have information about Bubbe’s experience? Maybe she had been one of the survivors who sat for an interview with the museum. Now I had at least twice as many questions to ask when I got home. I tried to eat quickly so I could find Mr. Kane and ask if Raven and I could go back to start asking questions.

“Mind if I sit Griffin?”

This time I looked up to find Lexa. I sighed. “It’s a free country Woods but I’m not really going to be good company right now.”

“I’m sure I can deal with it.” Sitting next to me and leaning back against the tree so our shoulders touched, she picked at the grass while she waited for me to finish eating. When I balled up the paper boat the hotdog came in she gave me a small smile. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

I snorted in response.

“I’m serious. I know I upset you. I don’t know how but I know I did.”

“It wasn’t about you Woods.” I cleared my throat and shifted so I was facing her more. Reaching inside my shirt I grabbed the extra long chain I always wore and pulled my necklace out. It had two charms on it, one a Celtic cross and the other a Star of David.

“Oh.” Lexa took the charms in her hand. She leaned in closer and studied them each in turn. “You’re Jewish.”

“No.” I pulled gently on the chain until the charms fell out of her hand and dropped it back inside my shirt. I settled back against the trunk of the tree.

She raised a brow, “So you’re Catholic?”

“Not really.” I replied. “My mother’s family is Jewish. My great-grandparents didn’t want their family persecuted so they never put their faith on display. When Mom married Dad, my great-grandmother actually encouraged her to convert to Catholicism. I’m firmly in the ‘I’m not sure what I believe’ category.”

“So why hide the necklace?”

“Long story.” I made a show of picking a chip out of the bag. “One I’d rather not share at the moment.”

“Man, I suck.” Lexa took the chip from my fingers and popped it into her mouth.

“No. You do have horrible timing though.”

Lexa spoke around the food in her mouth. “I am sorry Griffin.”

“It’s fine. You didn’t know. Most people don’t and honestly I’d like it to stay that way.”

Ms. Indra announced it was time to leave and head back to the hotel. Lexa stood, offering me a hand to help me to my feet. “I could have handled it better.”

****

“Finally!” I sighed as I sank into the cozy bed in my hotel room. I had the room to myself for an hour or so since Ophelia and a couple of classmates had gone to check out a monument for extra credit. It was a little past six o’clock, which meant I could get a nap in before the nightly meeting at nine o’clock.

It sounded like a fabulous plan to me but Ophelia ruined it. She shook me awake shortly before eight o’clock.

She was pacing when I opened my eyes. “Ohmigod!”

I responded the only way that made sense to my groggy brain. “Blasphemy Ophelia. Careful.”

“Clarke wake up!”

“I am awake. I’m not happy about it and I’m not vertical but I am awake.”

Before Ophelia could snap at me there was a knock on the door. She ran to answer it. Hearing the voices of Octavia, Luke, and Lexa, I sat up and pulled at the comforter so I could wrap it around my shoulders. The others made themselves right at home. Luke sat on the edge of my bed and leaned back against the headboard, Lexa stretched out across the foot of my bed and Octavia slid onto the desk.

I adjusted the pillows and blanket. I glanced at Lexa who winked and pointed at her neck. My hand flew to my neck and felt my necklace. I dropped it back inside my shirt and mouthed a thank-you to her.

“So what happened?” Octavia asked Ophelia.

“Yeah Ophelia,” Luke yawned. “Joey said Tim told him some homeless dude keeled over in front of you guys.”

“Yes!” Ophelia yelled. “He died! Like completely.”

“Completely?” Lexa repeated.

“We were at the Korean War Memorial doing the extra credit, which you should have been working on too Octavia, when this guy came out of nowhere coughing and panting and breathing all weird. Like gurgling or something. We were backing away from him when he sort of lunged and grabbed me. Tim pulled him off of me but then he tried to grab Tim. We didn’t know what to do. Tim pushed him really hard and backed away. The guy collapsed.” Ophelia stopped pacing and spun to face us. “Then he died!”

“He died?” Lexa sounded amazed. “Was something wrong with him?”

Ophelia huffed. “You mean other than the coughing and gurgling? And the dying?”

We fell silent. Teasing Ophelia wasn’t as much fun when someone had actually died.

“Did he hit his head or something?” I asked.

“No!” She threw her arms in the air. “He fell to his knees and then he fell over! Dead! Aren’t you listening?”

“You’re okay though?” Octavia asked.

“Yeah. He scratched me a little on my neck. And he coughed in my face a bunch. Mr. Kane cleaned us up.”

“Us?” Luke repeated.

“Yeah. He scratched up Tim when he was trying to grab him.”

I shook my head. Her story was too incredible to be believed but Ophelia had never been much of an exaggerator. “Seriously?”

“Yes! Mr. Kane took him to the emergency room to get him checked out. I could see bruises. Plus the guy coughed all over Tim. Mr. Kane wanted to see if the hospital could figure out what the guy had and if they could keep Tim from getting sick. The police are coming here to talk to me and Ashley.” Ophelia’s chest puffed up at her announcement, like she was proud she was going to be questioned by the police.

The phone rang. It was Mr. Jaha letting Ophelia know the police were waiting to talk to her in the lobby.

“I’ll be back.” Ophelia straightened her headband. “Make sure the visitors leave shortly Clarke. Curfew is in a few minutes. I shouldn’t have let them in the room in the first place. It’s against the rules!”

“Okay Ophelia.” I yawned.

“I’m serious. I won’t tell on you now but I will if they’re here when I get back.” She glared at me.

I let out a short laugh. “You let them in Ophelia.”

Pausing outside the door, she turned around and narrowed her eyes. “Who do you think the teachers will believe?”

Lexa moved to lie on Ophelia’s bed as soon as the door closed. She stretched out, putting her hands behind her head and crossing her legs at the ankles. She glanced at Octavia quickly before staring up at the ceiling. “Your sister is kind of nutty.”

“Yeah. I’ve been telling our parents that for years.” Octavia moved to lounge in the chair. “Unfortunately, I’m ‘too rebellious for my own good’ so I get most of the attention.”

“She was attacked by a homeless guy at a national monument? And then he died?” I shook my head and laughed. “Only Ophelia.”

The others began hypothesizing and trying to come up with reasons for the attack. Each guess was more outlandish than the last. A little before nine o’clock the phone rang again. This time it was Ms. Indra wanting to let me know the nightly meeting was cancelled and that I was not to leave the room at all until a teacher called for me. She quietly added that if I happened to see Octavia, Luke, and Lexa I should let them know about the meeting since they weren’t answering the phone in their rooms.

We tried to stay awake until Ophelia came back from her police interview. The last time I looked at the clock it was after ten. We started dropping off into sleep shortly after that. I think I fell asleep first, sitting up braced up against all the pillows listening to the guys making increasingly wild guesses about Ophelia’s experience. The last on I heard was about a zombie apocalypse.

****

I woke up around dawn to a strange rattling sound coming from somewhere inside the room. I tried to get up to check it out, but found myself pinned by a shirtless Luke’s head and arms. His head was in my lap and his arms were wrapped around my waist, holding me tightly.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t remember how he’d ended up like that. I could remember talking with the others until I fell asleep but nothing about Luke taking off his shirt. I tried to gently remove myself from his grip but couldn’t get him to budge. I had to shove his head to wake him up.

“Huh? What?” Luke jerked upright.

“Hope my lap was a comfy enough pillow for you.”

Luke rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “Sorry Griffin. I didn’t mean-”

“Shh!” I clapped my hands over his mouth when I heard the rattling sound again. “What is that?”

He tried to speak but I wouldn’t move my hands. We listened for a couple of seconds before he pointed towards the bathroom.

“I think so.” I nodded.

Together we got off the bed and moved to the bathroom door. After he slipped on his shirt, Luke tried to open the door. The handle wouldn’t turn. The door was locked from the inside.

“Do you think it might be a rat?” I stood behind him, studying the door.

“Wouldn’t a rat go out the way it went in?” He replied. “Maybe it’s a towel hitting the door.”

“And groaning? Seriously?”

“Shut up Griffin.”

“Clarke!” I snapped. “My name is Clarke. Please feel free to use it.”

The groaning got louder, as if it was moving closer to the door. Luke leaned in and pressed his ear against the wood. His ear had barely made contact with the door when he jumped back. He ran behind me and shook his head. “Not a freaking rat!”

I glanced back at him. “Geez, remind me to never count on you as my protector Luke.”

He glared at me, clamping his mouth shut and crossing his arms tightly over his chest. I waited for his retort but he seemed content to let the teasing drop.

I put my ear to the door. The sound coming through the door was unlike anything I’d ever heard before. I slowly backed away. “What did you guys do after I fell asleep? What’s in there? Ophelia is going to kill you when she gets back!”

“Why isn’t she back?” Luke looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand then out the sliding glass door leading to the balcony. “It’s six o’clock in the morning. The sun is coming up. Why hasn’t she come back to kick us out and tell on you? Think of the brownie points she’d score for getting Saint Griffin in trouble.”

“Call me Clarke!” I snapped again. I hated being called by my last name.

Luke grinned. “Fine! Clarke. Where do you think Ophelia is?”

“Maybe she got back late and didn’t want the drama so she took one of your keys and went to your room?”

“When has Ophelia Blake ever avoided drama?” Luke snickered. “Besides I don’t remember anyone coming into the room.”

“And you swear that you guys didn’t put something in there to mess with us?”

Luke raised his hands. “I didn’t move from that bed all night. I didn’t wake up at all until you shook me!”

I studied him. “Not at all?”

“Well, I mean…” Luke mumbled. “I went to the bathroom.”

“And then you came back to fall asleep on my lap?”

“Ophelia!”

“No, Clarke.” I pointed at my chest and spoke slowly. “And when exactly did your shirt come off?”

Luke lifted me up and out of his way. He pressed his ear against the door again. “No, Ophelia was in the bathtub when I went in there!”

“You… you relieved yourself in front of Octavia’s sister?” I grimaced. “That’s gross.”

It was Luke’s turn to throw a look at me over his shoulder. He shook his head and then knocked on the door. “Ophelia? Are you okay in there?”

The groaning got louder.

“Do you want me to get Ms. Indra?” Luke spoke louder.

The groaning grew even louder.

“Luke stop.” I whispered and pulled him away from the door. “You’re agitating it.”

“ _It_ is Ophelia!” He snapped back.

“No, that has got to be some kind of animal. Now quit annoying it. I’m getting Octavia. She’ll know how deal with it.” I pulled him away from the door before waking the others up.

Soon Octavia and Lexa were standing with us outside the bathroom door. They were as perplexed by the sounds as Luke and had been. None of us could think of a way to deal with it, whatever it was, without being attacked.

“Are you sure it’s not Ophelia?” Octavia asked me.

Lexa leaned into the door, pressing her ear against it. “Why would she groan like that?”

Octavia shrugged. “She’s never been a morning person. Not without coffee anyway.”

Luke laughed. “Coffee makes everyone a morning person.”

“Not Griff. It makes her sick.” Octavia replied absently, the way she did when she was thinking.

“It’s too much caffeine too quickly.” I shuddered. “So much bitterness.”

The groaning interrupted the conversation.

Lexa grabbed the door handle, put her shoulder against the door and pushed. “It’s locked. Ophelia’s trapped.”

“How do we even know Ophelia is in there?” Octavia asked. “Maybe she saw us in here when she got back from meeting with the police and didn’t want to share a room with three non-roommates. Maybe she took one of our keys and went to our room.”

“I already thought of that.” I said as I turned to Luke and smiled. “He went to the bathroom last night and she was in the tub.”

“You peed in front of my sister?” Octavia gasped, her brows coming together and her eyes narrowing.

Luke whirled around to face us. “No! I walked down to our room and came back. I gave Ophelia a blanket because she said she was cold. I thought I’d dreamt it all. Now can we please move on from this topic?”

I smiled sheepishly. “You didn’t tell me that part.”

“You didn’t let me.” Luke countered. “Maybe you should listen to the whole story instead of jumping to the ending of your choice.”

The groaning through the doors drew attention back to Ophelia and forcing us to find ways to get into the bathroom. The others took turns ramming it with their shoulders and I tried to pick the lock. None of us had any luck. As I was sitting down on my bed, trying to formulate a new plan the phone rang. It was Ms. Indra, wanting to see Octavia and Luke as soon as possible in her room. I heard the phone click before I could ask why she was looking for them in my room.

“Why us?” Octavia asked.

“She didn’t say.”

Luke wiggled his brow. “I bet I know what she wants.”

“No you don’t.” Lexa replied without taking her eyes off the door.

“You spent the night snuggling with my best friend and now you’re going to try to put the moves on Ms. Indra?” Octavia shook her head.

Luke playfully shoved Octavia toward the door and glared at Lexa. “We’ll try to hurry. See if you can get her out of there. You’ve always been so good at helping others.”

Lexa and I stayed relatively quiet at first, trying to figure out how to get in the bathroom. I lounged on the bed and she paced by the door. None of the ideas either of us thought up seemed to be plausible.

Finally, I snapped my fingers. “Ah-ha!”

“You think of something?”

“Someone.” I corrected. “Raven is a few floors up.”

“And?” Lexa asked.

“She’s a wizard at getting into things and places she shouldn’t get into.”

“And you’re just now thinking of that?”

“It’s barely passed dawn and I woke up with a half-naked guy in my bed. This hasn’t been a typical morning for me!” I stuck my tongue out at her as I dialed Raven’s room number. It rang and rang. Finally, on the eighteenth ring, she picked up.

“’Lo?”

“Raven?”

“Too early Clarke.”

I laughed. “I’ve been up since before dawn.”

“So?” She yawned. I heard a shuffling sound, like she was moving around in bed, then she groaned. “It’s not even a quarter to seven! I don’t need to be up for at least another hour”

“I need your help. Come down to my room.”

Raven called me several choice names in a few languages before finally agreeing and hanging up.

Ten minutes later, there was a knock on the door.

“You rang?” Raven stepped into the room and smiled cheekily at me, her black hair pulled into a high ponytail and marks from her pillow still on her face. Her dark brown eyes grew round when she saw Lexa Woods standing behind me. Raven offered a short wave to Lexa as she spoke quietly to me. “I’d ask if I’m interrupting but… you called me.”

“Very funny Raven.”

“I try. So what’s going on? Which of my many areas of expertise do you wish to call upon?”

I pointed to the bathroom door. “Get it opened please?”

“Done.” Raven smiled. 


	4. Chapter 4

It was only couple of minutes later when Raven stood and announced she’d managed to get the door unlocked.

“You’re awesome!” Lexa gave her a high five. “Remind me to call you before my next party.”

Raven blinked at her. “Why?”

“Dad locks up the bar.” Lexa said. She laughed at the blank look on Raven’s face before reaching for the doorknob.

“Wait!” I grabbed her hand, holding the door closed.

“I’m going to let Ophelia out.” Lexa replied.

“Give me a second,” I ran back to my bag and pulled out my softball bat.

“Are you kidding me?” Raven laughed. “You brought your bat with you?”

“I wanted to be able to practice if I could find time. I have my mitt too.” I replied. “Didn’t you guys bring anything useful?”

Raven shrugged and held up her hands, her makeshift lock picking tools still in them, but Lexa smirked and said, “my smile and my abs.”

I blinked a couple of times, trying to come up with a response. Finally I sighed, “Really?”

Lexa winked and took my bat before she turned back to the door. In her right hand she hefted the bat and with her left she turned the knob.

“Ophelia, stand back.” I said over her shoulder.

She nodded even though she had to know Ophelia couldn’t see her. She spoke as she opened the door, “I’m going to get whatever’s in there with you out. I don’t want to hurt you so stand–”

Loud groaning interrupted her and the door was pushed closed. Lexa tried again, pushing harder on the door. There was a loud thump. With a few hard shoves Lexa and Raven had the door fully open. I looked over their shoulders to see Ophelia was lying in fetal position in the middle of the floor with the blanket Luke said he’d given her was bunched up around her waist.

“Ophelia?” I fell to my knees beside my friend.

Ophelia groaned.

“Holy moly!” Raven jumped behind Lexa. “It was her!”

“Get back!” Lexa reacted quickly, picking me up and shoving me back.

“What are you doing Woods?” I tried to shove my way around her.

“She’s sick Clarke. Like that guy she told us about.” Lexa stuck out her arm to keep me from moving around her again. Glancing over my shoulder she nodded. Raven grabbed me with both arms around my waist, pinning my arms against my sides. She squeezed tightly and tucked her head down against my shoulder blade. Once she was sure Raven had me securely in her arms Lexa turned back to Ophelia. She looked like she was afraid any little jostle would break Ophelia as she carefully lifted her back into the tub. When she lowered her into the tub she coughed into her chest and groaned again. Her head fell back. I could see there was a little blood where her mouth had been pressed against her.

Lexa sighed and covered her with the blanket. She turned back to me and said, “this way we can keep her contained until we know what’s wrong with her.”

As soon as the door closed Raven released me. She stuck both hands in her hair, pulling chunks of it out of her pony tail, and started talking. “Holy freaking moly! She’s, like, sick. Like sick, sick. Who gets that sick that fast? She can’t even move! What is going on?”

I sank onto my bed and let my cousin rant. I didn’t know what to say much less do so I watched Lexa shove some towels under the door before taking off her shirt, leaving her in a sports bra, and tossing it outside on the balcony. She glanced down at her chest and grimaced. She must have spotted the remnants of Ophelia’s bloody mouth print on her chest because she grabbed some hand sanitizer off the desk and put some on a tissue that she used to wipe away the blood. After tossing the tissue outside, she paced the length of the room a few times before she stopped and sat on the desk. Then she stared at the floor.

As soon as Lexa sat down Raven started pacing, “should we call for an ambulance or something? Or Mr. Jaha? This can’t actually have happened so quickly.”

“It happens Raven. We saw her last night. She was fine.” Lexa’s hands were in her lap. She was clenching and unclenching them. She glared at me and said, “Super germs are fast acting.”

“Nothing moves that fast! Even the common cold takes a few days to fully flare up.”

I shook my head. “Sometimes epidemics are caused by things that come out of nowhere. Maybe that guy who attacked her yesterday contracted something fast moving.”

“No! Not possible. What has an eight-hour incubation period? From completely fine to full-fledged can’t move mode? No.” Raven argued. “No way.”

Lexa shrugged. “That new flu is supposed to be fast moving right? The Angolan Flu?”

“Is that even happening here?” I hadn’t heard of a single case reported within the borders of the United States.

“It can’t be. It’s not possible. With the quarantines and strict travel bans and whatever else is in place. No way has it reached the States.” Raven shook her head.

“What if some bureaucrat or celebrity did a photo op somewhere with victims and brought it home without realizing?” Lexa shot back. “They said Ebola wouldn’t get here either remember? Before the epidemic you said happened a few years ago that the government covered up.”

“I never said that!” My cousin glared at Lexa, as if she’d revealed some embarrassing secret.

“You said it in government class before winter break.” Lexa replied.

My cousin took a deep breath, a definite sign she was gearing up for a long explanation about how and why the government did what they did and how they couldn’t get away with it again. I rolled my eyes. Ranting Raven was never fun to be around. “Raven, take a walk.”

“No way. I’m not going to leave you alone with sickie Ophelia in there!” Only Raven would think she could somehow protect me from microorganisms.

“You probably didn’t have much of a view since you were pretty quick to jump behind me but Ophelia’s not going anywhere.” Lexa spoke quietly but her fisted hands gave away how frustrated she was feeling.

“I was trying to clear the area. You…” Raven jabbed a finger toward Lexa.

I put my hands over one of the fists in Lexa’s laps. “She’s trying her best to help Ophelia. And protect us.”

“Sure, but she put…”

I held up my room key for my cousin. “Raven, take a walk. You can’t fight germs for me. At this point whatever is meant to happen will happen.”

She stormed from the room, leaving me alone with Lexa, a girl I’d only ever thought of as shallow and vapid. Apparently I’d been at least a little wrong.

“Hey Woods.” I squeezed her hand.

“What’s up?” Lexa replied as if we were passing in the hallway at school.

“Thank you.” I whispered. I don’t know why. It seemed like something I ought to keep between the two of us and if I said it louder someone else might steal the moment.

“For what?”

“Trying to protect me. Even though you can’t protect me from germs.”

“Always.”

I slowly moved my hand off hers. My brows drew together and I spoke carefully, “Always? As in forever? As in evermore?”

“Evermore?” Lexa sat up a bit straighter and cleared her throat. “I mean you’d do the same for me right? It’s normal human instincts, that need to protect your friends. So yeah, sure. Evermore.”

“Oh.” I nodded before I leaned in and softly kissed her cheek. “Thanks.”

Lexa waited a second or two before she offered me a small smile, “your cousin is weird.”

“I know but I get her. I have a theory on DCs because of her and her brothers.”

“DCs?”

“Double cousins.” I explained. “Her mom is my dad’s cousin. Her dad is my mom’s brother. So we’re cousins twice over.”

“So what’s you theory?”

I giggled, “I think all DCs have love-hate relationships. Or rather you either love them or you hate them. Since I Raven and Rocco and Enzo at every family get together I know them better than I like most of the time.”

“I’m sorry…” Lexa scoffed. “Did you say Rocco? And Enzo?”

“Our family is Italian. Partly.” I shrugged. “Are you being ethnocentric? Don’t be judgy Woods.”

We sat in silence again. When Raven came back from her walk she seemed much calmer. She tried talking to us a couple of times but gave up when she couldn’t get a response. Instead she turned on the news and stared at the screen. I listened to a feature story about how hard the Angolan Flu was hitting the impoverished Caribbean Islands. At the knock on the door Raven practically sprinted over to let Octavia and Luke back in.

“So…” Octavia looked pointedly at Lexa’s sports bra before turning to raise a brow at me. “What'd I miss?”

I pulled Octavia into a hug. “It was Ophelia, Octavia. She was making all that noise.”

Octavia took me by the shoulders and held me at arms length. I nodded when she studied my face, knowing she was asking if I was being honest. Her hands tightened momentarily before she turned and charged passed Lexa. “Ophelia!”

“Maybe we should take her to the hospital?” Raven suggested again.

Luke shook his head. “Ms. Indra said the hospitals are going to be filled to capacity within a day or two. She said if we take her to the hospital we’ll have to leave her behind. She also said the mortality rate is going to be high no matter where people look for help. Octavia wouldn’t even listen to me when I said we ought to at least take her to get checked out.”

“How does she know the hospitals are going to be filled?” Lexa asked.

“And what was that about the mortality rate?” Raven added.

“She said that the new flu was deadlier that anything we’d seen in recent history. That means we have to go.” Luke explained.

“We’re heading back to Ohio in a few days. She’s sick enough that the doctors probably wouldn’t let her travel. She doesn’t want to risk having to leave her alone.” I felt the same way. If people were going to die whether they sought medical help or not, I was on Octavia’s side all the way. “We’ll figure it out.”

After a few minutes, Octavia came out and shut the bathroom door. “I have to talk to Mom and Dad.”

I moved to hug her again but she shook her head so I went back to my bed and sat instead. We waited around the room while Octavia used the phone to call home. No one answered. She left a message but didn’t mention Ophelia’s illness. As soon as she put the receiver down, the questions started again.

“So what else did Ms. Indra want?” Lexa asked. “And how did she know we were here?”

“Ophelia told her.” Octavia said. “Ms. Indra was too concerned with figuring out other things to come up here and bust us.”

“She wanted to tell us to get out of town. To pack up and head home.” Luke shrugged. “Lots of specific instructions. We have lots to share.”

“Why?” I couldn’t believe what I’d heard. “Why do we need to head home?”

Octavia shrugged. “I didn’t get all of it. Some of it was weird sciencey stuff. Something about powerful EMPs and the new pandemic.”

“The flu?” I bent my legs up in front of me and hugged my knees.

“Yeah. She wrote some of it down.” Luke held up a packet of papers. “Like I said, lots of stuff to explain.”

“When do we leave?” Lexa asked.

“As soon as possible.”

“Can the leaving wait?” I asked as I stood. I looked down at my shirt and shorts. I could swear I could feel the germs crawling all over my skin. And there was no way a teacher had actually told high school students to leave a field trip and make their own way home. Not when home was almost a thousand miles away. Octavia and Luke had to be trying to prank us. “I need to shower.”

“Me too.” Lexa stood. I turned and glared at her. She held up both hands and smirked. “Not with you of course.”

I couldn’t think of a retort so I turned to my suitcase and start grabbing clothes, my usual attire of jeans and a t-shirt, refolding them before I put them on the bed.

“You want to shower now?” Luke shook his head. “I just told you we have to leave and you want to take the time to shower?”

“If we’re leaving for a hiking trip though miles of forests, rivers, and mountains who knows when I’ll get to take a real shower again.” Lexa replied.

“Use the shower in our room.” Octavia murmured as she handed me her room key. “It’s… not occupied.”

Lexa raised her hand. “What about me? That’s my room too.”

“Use mine.” Raven held up her key for Lexa. “Huge shower, lots of spraying and nozzles.”

I tried to grab for her key, lots of nozzles sounded like absolute paradise, but Lexa held it over her head.

“Thanks Raven.” I said as I marched to the door.

Half way to Octavia’s room, I realized I forgot my clothes. Of course that was Raven’s fault. In my irritation with my cousin for giving her key to Lexa I’d been a little too eager to leave the room. I turned to go back only to find Lexa holding the stack of clothes I’d pulled from my suitcase. I reached out to take them, but she lifted them out of my reach.

“Give me my clothes.”

“Let me be chivalrous Griffin.” Lexa shook her head. She must have noticed my glare because she chuckled and said, “It doesn’t happen often. You ought to take advantage of it while you can.”

I turned and marched to Octavia’s room without another word.

Once inside, I held my hand out to her. “Clothes.”

“Milady.” Lexa bowed and put my clothes on a bed.

“Go away.”

“Give me a second. I need to get some clothes too.” She brushed passed me. “Don’t worry Griffin. I’ll leave your virtue intact. You’re not my type anyway.”

My jaw dropped. “Not your type?”

“Nope.” She popped the ‘p’ and whistled as she put her suitcase on the bed near the pile of my clothes. She grabbed her jeans and a t-shirt while I stared at her.

“How am I not your type?”

Lexa grabbed her sloppy mound of clothes and walked back to the door. As she opened it she turned back. “Why do you care?”

She closed the door behind her before I could respond.

****

I probably took a longer shower than necessary. Especially since I was allegedly supposed to be fleeing the city with my friends. I wish I could say I enjoyed the hot water. But I kept seeing Ophelia curled up on the floor, my friend in pain and sick seemingly out of the blue. So no, it was not the most relaxing shower of my life.

To make things that much better, when I finally got out of the shower and started to get dressed I couldn’t find my shirt. Since I couldn’t wander around the hotel in my bra, I decided to borrow one of Octavia’s shirts. I found one on top of her suitcase and slipped it on.

I ran a brush through my hair and used bobby pins to pull half of it up so it was out of my face before gathering the rest of my things. When I opened the door I was almost knocked over by Lexa.

“Hey! You’re wearing my shirt!” She poked me in the side.

“No I’m not. I’m wearing Octavia’s shirt.” I smacked her hand away.

“Funny. When did she start playing soccer?” She took me by my shoulders and turned me around so she could see the back. “And I thought Octavia’s last name was Blake not Woods?”

I rolled my eyes and shrugged her hands off. Woods’s shirt or Octavia’s shirt it didn’t matter. It was warm and cozy now. Then I realized she was wearing the shirt I thought I’d left in my room. “You’re wearing my shirt!”

“Is it too late to call jinx?” She winked. “Yeah, I am. I must have mixed them up when I got my clothes.”

“Give it back!”

“No. It’s all comfy now.”

Knowing she wouldn’t surrender my shirt without a fight, I turned on my heel and headed back to my room. I couldn’t figure out how she’d even managed to put the shirt on in the first place. It had to be at least a size too small. It was barely long enough to cover her belt. In typical Lexa style, she laughed and followed closely.

“Why didn’t you check the name to make sure you were wearing one of Octavia’s shirts?” She poked me in my side again. When I went to smack her hand away she poked my other side. “You know, if you wanted one of my shirts, you only needed to ask Griffin. You didn’t need to steal one.”

“Shut up Woods.” 


	5. Chapter 5

Raven and Luke were dozing on the beds when Lexa and I walked in the room. I jumped on my bed and shook Raven awake, then looked at Octavia who was sitting in the chair by the desk. “So, Ms. Indra.”

Octavia raised a brow at the sight of Lexa in my shirt. I could tell by the look on her face that she would make me explain as soon as we were alone. Too bad she was going to be disappointed in the innocence of the mix-up. “Like I said before. She said we should get out of town.”

I shook my head. “There’s no way she said that. You guys must have heard wrong.”

“Take a look for yourself. She drew us a route to take and everything.” Luke tossed the map on to the bed next to me.

“Why would a teacher do something so dumb? Even if she’s joking, what if we took her seriously? Teenagers are dumb.” I ignored the map, an obvious prop in a joke he and Octavia had formulated. “How about you guys quit wasting our time and tell us what she wanted.”

“I’m telling you she told us to get out of town.” Octavia raised a hand, “scout’s honor.”

“You’re doing that wrong and it only works if you were actually a scout.”

“I was a scout for a year.” She protested.

I rolled my eyes. “You were a brownie for two months. You quit because they wouldn’t let me go on a camping trip with you. A trip I didn’t even want to go on.”

“You would have had fun though.”

“You like to force me to go on trips I don’t want to take. It’s a recurring theme in our friendship.”

Octavia shrugged. “I learned all about knots and stuff, what else do scouts need to know? Not that I remember any of them. If you won’t accept my honor oath thingy, then I pinky promise.”

I’d always taken a pinky promise seriously. I allowed myself to consider the possibility that they weren’t messing with me. “She wants us to leave?”

“Yes.” Luke sounded exasperated. He pointed at the map. “Route drawn, instructions given.”

“Why? And how?”

Luke shrugged. “She suggested following some bike paths and a canal pull paths that follows the river. Apparently they’re never crowded once you get outside the city and it would get us to Pennsylvania or something. From there, she said to follow more rivers and bike paths.”

“Yeah. We’d be home in six months.” Lexa rolled her eyes.

“We could be home in two or three months.” Octavia pulled pamphlets from her pockets.

“But why?” Neither of them seemed to want to answer.

Octavia and Luke studied each other, silently arguing I think. First they both shook their head and then shrugged. After a minute or two Luke held up his hands as if surrendering. “Go ahead, you can tell her.”

“It’s like I said before, the new pandemic and sciencey stuff.”

“What science stuff?” Raven asked.

Octavia explained. “She said there were things going on that would cause EMPs.”

Luke added. “It sounded like a bunch of science fiction stuff to me. Does anyone even know what an EMP is?”

“Electromagnetic pulse. They kill electronic stuff basically. The entire grid could go down if the pulses are strong enough. Nothing electronic will work. Anything from watches to cars to cell phones will be useless.” Raven explained. The others stared at her. She shrugged. “I have nightmares about it.”

Luke looked horrified. “So no driving? And no GPS?”

“Nope.”

Lexa raised her hand, as if she was in class. “What does any of that have to do with the Angolan Flu?”

Octavia moved from the chair to sit next to me. “Ms. Indra called it a pandemic. She said it was going to get a lot worse than anyone in power wants to admit. There’s no cure and no vaccine. It’s a hurry up and wait sort of sickness.”

“And no electricity means no way to create a cure or vaccine.” I pointed out. “Even if they find one, they couldn’t mass produce it. All doctors and nurses can do is manage the symptoms. And that’s only until whatever stock piles they have run out.”

“And because of all of this, she thinks we need to walk back to northwestern Ohio.” Raven rolled her eyes. “Maybe she really is playing a joke?”

“Why would a teacher try to trick teenagers? We’re too quick to jump for that.” Luke ran his hands through his hair. “I think this is one of those so strange it’s real situations.”

I shook my head. “There’s no way. How are we supposed to walk home? We don’t have hiking or camping equipment.”

Luke pulled out his wallet. “I have seventy-seven dollars and some change. What does everyone else have on them?”

Between the five of us, and after raiding Ophelia’s wallet, we had almost five hundred dollars.

“It isn’t much but we can get some stuff with it. Maybe some lighters and water bottles and sleeping bags or something.” Octavia stood. “I can go and see what I can find.”

“I’ll go with you.” Lexa said. “I know a little about camping.”

“How about you try to get your hands on a tent or two?” I hugged my best friend, worried more sick people and sudden death could be outside waiting for them. “Be careful. And maybe grab some water purifying tablets. Oh! And a compass.”

Octavia smiled and grabbed me in a bear hug. “You are a genius.”

“I know. Hurry up and go so you can get back.” I held up my hand, my pinky straightened. Octavia understood what I wanted, a pinky promise that she’d be back quickly and safely.

I paced some more after my friends left. I paused every so often to stare out the window. It seemed like an eternity before Luke spoke.

“Where’d you learn that stuff?”

“What stuff?”

“The water tablets and compass kind of stuff.”

“Oh.” I shrugged and motioned toward Raven. “Our family is full of preppers.”

“Preppers?”

Raven nodded as she joined me by the window. “Yeah. Like the people who have tons of food and water and guns. Ready for the end of the world. Preppers.”

“Oh.” Luke nodded slowly. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I never really paid much attention. I always thought they were kind of crazy for believing some of the stuff they believe.” I started pacing again.

“Our family knows it’s possible for something bad to be right around the next corner or behind the next door. Our great-grandparents have a history of not being able to trust their neighbors.” Raven answered. Then she lifted her shirt to show off the Star of David tattoo on the left side of her rib cage. “Jewish remember?”

“I thought it was forbidden for Jews to get tattoos.” Luke said.

Raven shrugged. “I guess I’m a new kind of Jew.”

****

A couple hours later Octavia and Lexa were back with supplies. And they were joined by a couple of our classmates, Harper McIntyre and Costia Oakley.

“Harper and Costia offered to pitch in some cash if we take them with us.” Lexa explained. The expression on her face was one of pure annoyance. She and Costia had dated briefly at the beginning of the year. The breakup had not been amicable so I was almost certain it hadn’t been Lexa’s idea to invite her along. She glanced at me with an almost apologetic light in her eyes, probably because she knew Costia and I had never been friendly. I must have looked confused because she shook her head and looked away.

“I wrote down everything we were able to buy.” Octavia smiled cheekily as she handed me a list. They’d found small pup tents and sleeping bags, a couple of multi-tools, and some other things I hadn’t thought to ask them to get. They’d even thought to buy several boxes of protein bars.

“You got all of this?” I shook my head. “How? Where?”

“Yeah.” Lexa replied as she grabbed a sleeping bag. “We found a guy who knew a guy. And by that, I mean we found a thrift shop owned by a guy who had a brother who owned a pawn shop.”

“You got flashlights?” I grabbed one from a bag Octavia was holding.

“The pawn shop guy gave them to me for free.” Octavia smiled as she picked up a lighter and flicked it on.

Raven laughed and took the flashlight from my hand. “Because in a matter of days, they’re going to be useless.”

“Yeah, but-”

Lexa interrupted whatever Octavia had been about to say. “We tried to get multiples of everything. In case something broke or got lost. Neither of them had a compass. And when we asked about those water tablet things, they looked at us like we were crazy.”

****

Soon the others filed out of my room, leaving to pack and, thankfully, taking Harper and Costia with them. I found myself alone with Raven. We looked over the supply list again surprised they managed to get so much with a little more than six hundred dollars. Slowly I picked out what to take and what to leave behind. For the first time, I was thrilled for having actually brought the ugly hiking boots my mom bought for me before my trip. I told her over and over again I didn’t need or want hiking boots but she insisted Chucks weren’t the kind of shoe anyone ought to walk around in while touring a museum all day. Mother’s intuition at it’s best!

“Do you think we’ll make it home?” Raven asked quietly as I packed.

“Of course.”

“How can you be so confident?”

I stopped moving around the room long enough so I could look her in the eyes. “Because our family needs us.”

“Right. _Mischpoche_.” Raven used the Yiddish word for family. It was a toast in our family. It was our ultimate reasoning behind a lot of things we all said or did. Family.

Raven and I chatted while I sorted my clothes into two piles, one to take and one to leave behind. In the pile of clothes to take I had all of my remaining clean underwear and socks, an extra pair of jeans, a pair of sweatpants, and a couple pairs of basketball shorts to sleep in. I only had six shirts in my take pile, three t-shirts, two tank tops, and a long sleeved t-shirt. I stuffed it all in my backpack, along with my Chucks, and buckled a sleeping bag in place on the side. Then I took the shoestrings out of the tennis shoes i was leaving behind and tied my tent to the bottom of the shoulder straps. I took my favorite hoodie and folded it a couple of times so I could snap it into the strap on the other side. My finishing touch was to tie the handkerchiefs my mother insisted I bring with me around the shoulder pads.

Finally, certain I’d packed everything I’d need, I sat down to study the packet of papers and maps I’d been given. Raven and I went over and over the route. She pointed out places we’d be able to look for shelter, places where the trail seemed to be close to houses or something, and I concentrated on figuring out where we could get supplies along the way. After a couple of hours Raven left to go pack a bag and gather her things. I walked to the glass balcony door of my sixth floor hotel room. I reached to open the door but a loud groan from the bathroom made me pause.

Ophelia. I’d forgotten about her. I had totally forgotten about my friend lying in the bathtub. I went to the bathroom door and knocked. I listened hard through the door but only heard Ophelia groan again in response. I stood there for a moment, not sure what to do. Going into an enclosed space that had no real ventilation with someone who was as sick as Ophelia was definitely not a good idea. I knew that. I also knew she had to be out of her mind with fear.

Running to the pile of clothing I’d decided to leave behind, I grabbed a t-shirt and tore it into thick strips. I tied one of the strips as tightly as I could around my mouth and nose in a sort of makeshift medical mask. Then I threw on a long sleeved shirt.

I snatched all the pillows off Ophelia’s bed and tossed them toward the bathroom. I snatched the comforter from her bed too before turning back to bathroom door. Taking a few deep breaths, I opened the door and stepped inside.

“Phy?” I whispered her childhood nickname as I approached her slowly.

She shifted in the tub and turned her head to look at me. I didn’t know if her lips were covered in blood from the coughing or if they were so dry they were cracking. She looked like a deranged clown.

“Griff?” Her voice was barely louder than a whisper. “I’m so thirsty Griff.”

I filled one of the complimentary plastic cups with water and tried to hand it to her. She couldn’t get her hand free from the blanket to take it.

“I think…” I took a deep breath. “I think we need to get you cleaned up, then we’ll worry about water.”

I retreated from the bathroom quickly, going straight to Ophelia’s bag and pulling out basketball shorts and a tank top along with undergarments. I had to ask her where her hygiene stuff was. Actually, I had to ask her a few times because I couldn’t hear her responses through the coughing.

When I finally had the bathroom situated I looked back at Ophelia. “I’m not sure what to do now. Maybe we should wait for Octavia to come back?”

“Don’t. Not like this.” She shook her head. “She shouldn’t see me.”

“Okay.” I nodded and reached for the blanket covering her. “We’ll learn as we go I guess.”

The smell coming from beneath the blanket was horrendous. Before I could school my face and control my reaction I gagged.

“Sorry.” Ophelia’s eyes filled with tears. “Couldn’t… hold it.”

I shook my head. “You have nothing to be sorry about. We should have checked on you. I should have checked on you.”

Moving slowly I was able to transfer Ophelia to the toilet before cleaning the tub. Then, without meeting each other’s eyes, I helped her undress and sit in the tub for a shower. I ended up with more water on me than she did though. About half way through the shower I looked at Ophelia’s face. She was studying me closely.

“Are you okay?” I sat back on my heels.

She nodded once and slowly reached for my hand. “I always thought-”

Coughing interrupted whatever she was going to say.

“Let’s try not talking. Too much energy.” I smiled. “Quit being so dramatic Ophelia.”

She laughed a little before coughing a lot.

I finished washing her in silence. There were probably things I could have said or should have said. I couldn’t think of a way for me to tell her anything without getting too emotional and that was not what she needed from me. So instead I kept quiet. I picked her up out of the tub and wrapped her in towels. After handing her the cup of water I scrubbed the tub again. Once I felt the tub was clean I dried it with a couple more towels. Then I started piling in the pillows and blankets. Finally I was able to help Ophelia get dressed and get her back in the tub and tucked in.

“So much better.” She sighed then coughed.

I filled the cup with water again and put it on the side of the tub. Checking her forehead to try to gauge her temperature, I was startled by the heat.

“I wish I’d thought to check earlier.” I shrugged. “Nothing to compare it to I guess.”

“I wish I wasn’t… Sick.”

I nodded. “Yes, that would be better. Let’s work on that.”

“Already on it.” Ophelia coughed.

I stood then. I glanced behind me at the closed door. “I’ve got to go Phy. I probably shouldn’t have been in here this long.”

“Dangerous.” Ophelia nodded slightly, her eyes drifting closed. “Not something I’ve ever been called before.”

I could only nod. “I’ll check on you soon. If you need me before I come back…”

“Cough?” She smiled.

“Something like that.”

I backed out of the room, grabbing her clothes, towels, and blanket as I went. Once the door was shut I grabbed one of those complimentary plastic bags from the closet and tossed in her clothes. Mine followed. Standing in my bra and underwear, I looked around for a place to put it. Finally I decided to toss it all in the corner of the balcony, nowhere else made any sense.

****

An hour or two later I was standing on the balcony, people watching, studying the city and trying to guess how long it would take for everything to fall apart if Ms. Indra was right. As my friends came back with their bags and gear something caught my eye.

“There!” I spotted a woman struggling across the street.

The group gathered around me. The woman was dressed in a skirt and blouse, holding her shoes in one hand and her blazer in the other. She staggered over to the police officer directing traffic. She dropped her blazer and grabbed the hand he offered. She almost pulled him down on top of her when she started to collapse. He gently lowered her to the road and signaled all traffic to stop. The officer spoke into his radio before rolling up his sleeves and leaning over the woman. She was slowly writhing on the pavement. Then she started to shake as if she were having a seizure.

The officer turned the woman to her side and kept his hand under her head to protect it from the hard surface beneath. After a minute or two she stopped moving. As we watched, the officer checked her breathing and appeared to be trying to find her pulse. Seemingly unable to find signs of life, he pulled out a CPR mask and began attempts to resuscitate her.

“Oh my God!” Harper was the first to speak.

I looked at her, my attention snapped from the unbelievable scene below. Only after looking away did I realize I had death grips on Octavia and Luke’s hands. I smiled sheepishly and released them. “My thoughts exactly.”

We moved away from the door and found places to sit or lay down. I sat cross-legged on my bed next to Luke who was stretched out across the mattress.

“So,” Harper spoke first. “What’s the plan?”

The others turned to Luke and me. He shrugged so I cleared my throat and said, “We stay for the night.”

“We should leave now.” Costia said before I was finished speaking.

“No.” Luke replied. “Clarke’s right. We should stay.”

“If we leave now, we’ll be able to get a little ways down that bike path you said Ms. Indra told you about.” Costia pointed out.

“It’s already mid-afternoon. Nothing good can come from us leaving now. It’ll be dark in an hour or two.” Raven moved to stand by the door. “Let’s move up to my suite though. We can stay there for the night. There’s two bedrooms so we can put Ophelia in one while the rest of us share the living room and my bedroom.” When everyone stared at her, probably because they hadn’t known she was staying in a suite while they were bunking up with at least one other person, Raven shrugged. “My mom knows the owner.”

Costia shook her head. “We need to leave now. The quicker we leave the more distance between us and all those people out there who will be going crazy when everything falls apart!”

Suddenly everyone was talking. Costia, Harper and Octavia wanted to leave as soon as possible. Luke, Lexa and Raven agreed with me that we should stay in the hotel for the night and leave first thing in the morning.

After several minutes of arguing I finally got angry. I turned to Costia and said, “Listen, if you want to leave now, no one is going to stop you. You can take whatever you’ve got packed and we’ll call it even.”

“You’re already trying to kick me out of the group?” Costia put her hands on her hips.

“No,” I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, “I’m trying to get you to realize you can do what you want to do but you can’t force the rest of us to go along with it. Leaving now is dumb. We’re staying. You can either go alone or you can stay with us. But you’re not going to force me or anyone else to do something they don’t want to do.”

I waited for her snapping response. I knew there was probably plenty she wanted to yell about. When she didn’t speak right away I turned to the guys. Raven was smiling and nodding. Octavia was quietly clapping. Luke was shaking his head, like he thought I’d jumped down Costia’s throat for no reason. Lexa had her arms crossed over her chest, her face almost emotionless.

“Octavia, can you get Ophelia? Raven, will you take Costia and Harper up to your suite while Lexa, Luke and I get the bags?” Everyone went about the tasks they’d been assigned. Within a half an hour, we were settled in Raven’s massive suite, Ophelia was especially thankful for a bed to lie in.


	6. Chapter 6

When the sun touched the horizon, Harper turned on a lamp. Lexa almost knocked me over when she ran to turn it off. When everyone stared at her, she blushed. “Sorry. I don’t want to attract any attention or anything. So… no lights.”

“If you need the bathroom, wait until the door is closed to turn on the lights.” Raven added.

“The whole city is lit up at night. One more light isn’t going to hurt.” Costia shook her head.

“A light that is displaying a suite full of teenagers in a hotel full of teenagers will most definitely draw attention in an emergency situation.” Raven responded, still not looking up from her hand held video game. “We’re easy targets.”

“It isn’t an emergency situation.” Costia argued.

“Not yet. But it will be soon enough.” Raven said.

Lexa shook her head when Harper reached for the lamp again. “No way. What if someone else out there is preparing for this? What if they’re looking around to see who they can take advantage of or hurt?”

Costia yawned, as if the subject was boring her. “No one is looking for teenage targets.”

“If things go down the way Ms. Indra thinks they will, there will be plenty of people looking for teenage targets. The strong will always look for weaker beings to take advantage of and exploit.” I said.

Apparently my muffled voice coming from behind the book in my face was exactly what Costia needed to hear to make her realize she would lose the battle over the lamp. She nodded at Harper who tried one more time to turn on the light before giving up. I watched over the top of my book as Lexa lightly slapped her hand away and shook her head again.

The girls sat on the couch and glared at me. When Lexa went to the windows and balcony doors and pulled the shades I set down my book and went to check on Ophelia. After helping her to the bathroom and getting her water I sat on the edge of her bed.

“Has Octavia told you the plan?” I asked.

She nodded once. That brief up and down motion of her head had her moaning in pain. Before she spoke, she had to swallow a few times, like she was fighting the need to vomit. “She said we’re walking home.”

“That’s pretty much all we have figured out at the moment.”

“Of course. Not a single one of you is a planner. Except maybe Harper but I doubt Costia will let her offer any help.”

I smiled. “Planning takes the fun out of it Phy. You know that. Adventures need to be free to evolve.”

“Adventures?” She arched a brow at me. “I don’t think you should approach this like its one of your weekend excursions with your friends or parents Clarke. This is serious.”

“I know. But if I don’t think about it like its not a big deal I’m fairly certain I’ll freak out. I don’t want to freak out. I want to keep my head as far from freaking out as possible.”

“That’s understandable.”

“So help me out with that.” I nudged her leg a little. “Give me some facts I can use for this trip. You’re good with facts.”

She smiled and closed her eyes. At first I thought she had fallen asleep. She sat still for a few minutes then opened her eyes again. “Make sure we find camp well before sundown so we can learn the area a little before the light is gone.”

I waited for more factoids and advice but she seemed content to drop the conversation. Completely un-Ophelia-like she didn’t say anything else. I crossed my arms and said, “that’s it? No interesting facts about the trails we’ll be on? No educated guess as to how long it’ll take us to get home?”

“I don’t know what trails we’ll be on. I’d need to see the map.” Ophelia coughed and wheezed. I held the cup of water to her lips once she’d settled into her pillows again. She took a few sips and cleared her throat before speaking again. “As for how long it will take us to get home, a healthy person carrying weight can travel an average of fifteen miles a day. Of course that average will be less for us until I’m on my feet again. I’ll slow us down considerably I think.”

“You won’t slow us down too much Ophelia. We’ll figure something out.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’ll be a burden for at least a week, if I survive at all.”

I tried to argue with her but she closed her eyes and sighed. She wouldn’t open them to look at me. I asked her more questions but she shook her head and sighed again. I helped settle her back into the bed and left the room.

In the living room no one was talking. No one was looking at each other. It felt like I’d missed an argument while I’d been with Ophelia.

After a quick argument with myself, I walked over to Costia and stood in front of her. “Can I borrow your phone?”

“Where’s yours?” She narrowed her eyes.

“I don’t have one.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Raven looked up from her game. “She doesn’t have a phone. Neither do I.”

Costia sneered as she handed me her phone. “Your parents won’t let you have a phone? That’s weird.”

“I’ve been saying that for years. To them no driver’s license means I have no need for a phone.”

Raven snorted. “Plus a phone means the government can track your every text, call and move. Why allow them the access?”

“Why don’t you borrow Octavia’s?” Harper asked.

“I’m grounded from my phone. It’s at home in Dad’s safe.” She replied sleepily from her chair in the corner of the room. When the other’s kept quiet, staring at her and waiting for an explanation, Octavia shrugged. “Dad grounded me when I… uh… went exploring with Lincoln Woods. I’m only allowed out of the house for school and practice. And a cell phone could mean illicit communications.”

“As in my brother Lincoln?” Lexa sat up straighter.

Octavia nodded, “Yes. My brother Bellamy introduced us a few months ago.”

“He’s a sophomore in college!” Lexa replied.

“He’s also drop dead gorgeous.” Octavia shrugged. “And I was on a break from my boyfriend at the time. It was perfect timing.”

“And your dad grounded you for hanging out with him?” Costia asked.

“Your dad sounds like a jerk.” Harper replied.

“You don’t know enough about him to judge, do you?” I responded angrily.

It was true I hadn’t like Mr. Blake’s response to Octavia’s getting to know Lincoln but he was still Octavia’s dad. The man had never treated me any different than his own children. He’d always been clear he had certain expectations on my behavior and he’d been strict. I’d honestly been more concerned with his lectures on decorum and honor than I had ever been over Dad’s lectures on archery and canning food. Not to mention, the man had cleaned my scrapped knees and lifted me out of trees like I was one of his own. After all the trouble he’d put into helping my parent’s raise me, there was some loyalty there.

“There’s no need to be mean to Harper. She means well.” Costia placed her phone in my hand. “Don’t kill the battery.”

I walked out onto the balcony. I turned to close the door and found Raven standing behind me. At my questioning look she rolled her eyes. “You know my parents are with Bubbe and Dedko which means they’re also with your parents. Two birds, one stone.”

I nodded and dialed the number for my dad’s satellite phone, the one he took with him everywhere. It rang five or six times before my mom picked up.

“Mama!” The tears came instantaneously.

“Clarke!” Mom sounded beyond relieved. “Are you safe? Is Raven with you?”

I sniffled a few times and wiped my eyes. Raven put her arm around my shoulder and squeezed. “As safe as we can be at the moment. Raven, Octavia and Ophelia are all with me. Can you tell Mr. and Mrs. Blake? So are a few classmates. Lexa Woods, Luke Forrester, Harper McIntyre, and Costia Oakley. Can you try to let their parents know?”

“Of course. Is everyone okay? Where are you?”

“Ophelia is sick. She’s, like, extremely sick. A man attacked her yesterday. One of the teachers thinks he may have had that new flu. Everyone else is okay. We’re still at the hotel in D.C. but our teacher wants us to leave as soon as we can. Are the rumors true? About the EMPs and the flu and all of that?”

“As far as we know it’s true. Your teacher is smart to know that you need to get away from people as fast as possible. Anybody you don’t know is somebody that can hurt you.”

“So you want us to leave?”

“If it weren’t nearly dark I’d want you to leave now.” My mother said. “At first light, get out. Don’t stop to help anyone. Don’t let anyone you don’t trust join you. Don’t let anyone see what supplies you have. You know all this, just trust what your father and I taught you.”

She assured me the family, including my little brother Jacob, were safe and healthy.

“I’m scared Mom.” I whispered into the phone, interrupting whatever it was that Mom was saying.

“I know baby. But everything will be fine.” Mom’s voice wavered. She was fighting off tears; I could hear it in her voice.

“How do you know?”

“ _Mischpoche_.” She replied. “We’ll make everything okay. Like we always do.”

Since I couldn’t keep my tears from falling and Mom was starting to hear them in my voice, Raven took the phone to speak with her mother for a few minutes. Before Raven could speak with her father, Costia tapped on the glass and pointed at her wrist. I nodded and took the phone back from Raven.

“Aunt Anna?”

“Clarke.” It was Dad who replied. “You need to know what our plan is.”

“Dad?” I held the phone with both hands. I’d never been so relieved to hear my father’s voice. “What plan? What do you mean?”

“It’s going to be fine Clarke. We’ll all be okay. We’re going to - ” The line went silent.

“Dad?” I pulled the phone away from my ear. The screen was black. “Dad?”

Raven took the phone from me and pressed the home key. Nothing lit up.

“There’s no way a ten minute conversation drained a battery charged to eighty-three percent!” She shook the phone and tried the power key.

“What’s going on?” Costia opened the door and held her hand out for her phone.

“Is there a short in your phone?” I asked.

“No. Why?” She hit the home key then the power key. “You broke my iPhone?”

I shook my head. “I didn’t break anything. It just stopped working!”

“That’s breaking it!”

Before I could yell back, Lexa whistled sharply. My head snapped to where she was standing in the doorway behind Costia. She pointed over her shoulder with her thumb. “Can we continue this inside?”

Costia, Raven and I filed inside and closed the door behind us. Raven and I told the group about the phone. Costia stomped some more but eventually Harper convinced her there was no fixing the phone.

Soon, the sun was setting behind the buildings and trees. We settled into the room, setting up our sleeping areas and preparing for a quick exit in the morning.

I went into the bathroom and closed the door before reaching over to turn on the lamp so I could write for a while in my journal. The lamp clicked but didn’t turn on. I turned the little knob a few more times. Nothing. Feeling my way along the wall, I tried the overhead light. It didn’t turn on either.

I opened the door and crossed the room, trying the lights. Still nothing.

“Guys?” Everyone looked at me. “Why aren’t the lights working?”

“What?” Luke flipped the switch a few times.

Lexa ran to a lamp and turned the knob. Nothing.

I shook my head. “It isn’t going to work. But why aren’t they working?”

Costia latched on to Octavia’s arm and shook her. “Get a flashlight!”

Octavia shook her hand off and grabbed her backpack to pull out a flashlight. She pressed the button. Again, nothing happened. In a panic, she pressed the button rapidly.

Lexa grabbed a pack of batteries and tore it open. She took the flashlight from Octavia and replaced the batteries then pressed the button.

We all stared at the flashlight for a moment, and then we were diving all over the room for anything that could make light. I tried the television and my own flashlight. Raven was holding back tears as she stared at the powerless PSP in her hands. After every light-producing thing in the room had been tested, and failed to work, we stood in the middle of the room. Even in the fading light, it was easy to see the fear on my friend’s faces.

“Nothing is working.” Harper whispered.

“What is going on?” Octavia kept clicking her flashlight.

“The EMPs must have struck earlier than everyone thought they would. Way earlier than anyone thought.” I grabbed Raven’s hand. “I-I think it’s too late to figure it out now. And too dark.”

“It’ll have to wait until dawn.” Luke nodded. “Let’s go to bed.”

“It’s too dark to do anything else.” Raven sighed, tossing her PSP onto her bag.

Lexa snorted. “Obviously you’ve never been alone in the dark with Costia.”


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning, we each ate an energy bar Lexa provided and drank as much water as we could. I think it was probably the quietest meal I’d ever been a part of. It was almost as if we were communicating without words. For someone who’d grown up in a huge multi-generational family, a quiet meal was disconcerting. I was used to talking and laughter happening all the time.

Once everyone finished eating Octavia stood and slipped on her backpack before walking into Ophelia’s bedroom. She emerged moments later with her twin in her arms. That was everyone’s signal to get up and leave the security of the hotel room.

Before heading to the stairs we broke open the vending machines and grabbed as many waters and pops as we could fit in an extra book bag, hoping to figure out a way to safely refill them on our trip if we couldn’t scavenge for more. Harper argued against taking too much. She wanted to leave some for the other people who may need it in the future.

“Your survival might depend on these.” Raven held up a pop. “Worry about yourself and this group having what we need before being concerned about everyone else. There’s no water waiting in a cooler for you on this trip.”

We moved to the stairs and started the long walk down fourteen flights. As we walked through the lobby a thought occurred to me. Gently placing a hand on her shoulder, I pulled her to a stop. “Octavia, you can’t carry her all the way to Ohio.”

“So we take turns.” Lexa replied from behind me.

I shake my head. “That seems like a huge waste of time and energy to me. And who knows how much food or water we’ll be able to find. It would make us too weak too fast.”

Harper nodded. “Clarke is right.”

I’m not sure who was more shocked, Costia or me. Harper never agreed with anyone but Costia. Not out loud anyway.

“We’ll use this.” Harper grabbed a wheelchair from beside the front desk.

An oily haired clerk jumped to his feet. “That’s hotel property and can’t leave the grounds.”

“What if I give you a hundred dollars?” Luke replied, holding up a credit card.

“Not worth my job kid.” The clerk shook his head. “Paper trail. Besides that the power is out.”

I grabbed Octavia’s wallet from her backpack and counted all of our remaining cash. “We have almost ninety dollars in cash. Our little secret?”

The clerk studied us for a minute then held out his hand. I handed him the cash but instead of letting us walk away, he jerked his head toward Octavia. “I’ll take that Rolex too.”

The watch had been a present from my parents on her eighteenth birthday. I started to protest but Octavia didn’t even hesitate. “Give it to him Clarke.”

I gave the man the watch. “Thanks for the hospitality.”

We slammed our room cards down on desk and moved toward the door. Octavia settled Ophelia in the wheelchair while I put both the shoulder straps of the extra backpack over the handlebars.

“Your group isn’t scheduled to leave for another few days.” The clerk signaled to the bellhops. One immediately ran toward the stairs, no doubt going to find one of our teachers, the other moved to block the door.

“We’re homesick.” Lexa replied over her shoulder.

“Teenagers right?” Luke walked backwards for a few steps and shrugged, when he turned back around, he was face-to-face with the bellhop.

The clerk smirked as he examined his new watch, one that didn’t even work anymore. “I’ll have to inform your chaperones you’re attempting to leave.”

“You do that.” I snapped as I tucked Ophelia’s blanket around her legs.

Lexa stalked up to the bellhop. “You really want to get out of our way.”

The bellhop glanced at the clerk then at me. I carefully considered the barrel of the softball bat in my hand before glaring at his knees. He looked back at Lexa and Luke, not even making eye contact before stepping out of our way.

Octavia started pushing as soon as the door was clear. “Let’s get out of here before Mr. Jaha makes an appearance. I’m pretty sure he isn’t in on Ms. Indra’s plan.”

****

We followed Ms. Indra’s map as best we could, although we got lost a couple of times. There were people everywhere. We were in downtown D.C., a huge city where everything had stopped working, but there was no panicking. Every person we passed seemed to think everything was okay. Should we warn people? How crazy would everyone think we were? And anyone who did believe us might try following us. Mom had made it clear we needed to avoid being followed.

We were at a crosswalk waiting for the police officer to wave us on. I couldn’t figure out why the crowd wasn’t moving. There were no cars so why stop at crosswalks? As I studied the people going about their lives like nothing was wrong I noticed a little girl staring at me. I’m sure our little group looked odd to the adults surrounding us, let alone that little girl. Eight teenagers wearing their letterman jackets isn’t an odd sight, but throw in our impromptu camping gear, Ophelia wrapped in a blanket in her wheelchair and me carrying my bat and I’m sure we made quite a sight.

I smiled and waved at the girl. She looked to be around seven or eight, close to my little brother’s age. My smile dropped when her father turned and studied me. He was a huge man with a beard that would make a lumberjack drool with envy.

“It’s not nice to stare Tris.” Her father smoothed her hair.

“Sorry lady!” The girl named Tris waved and smiled. She looked up at her father and whispered loudly, “She has princess hair!”

The dad smiled when I dipped into a little curtsy. Running a hand through my short hair, I watched them head across the street when the cop waved us on and the massive crowd started moving. Suddenly, my backpack felt three times as heavy on my shoulders. I jogged to catch up to the man and his daughter, desperate to give them some kind of warning.

“Excuse me!” I tapped the man on the shoulder.

“Yes?” He turned. “Did you need something? Directions? Money?”

“No. No money.” I shook my head. I opened my mouth to give him a warning but I couldn’t force the words out. “I don’t know how to tell you what you need to know.”

“I know plenty already.” The man smiled at me as if he thought I was a little slow.

“Just… just get her out of town.”

The dad shifted so he was between Tris and me. “Excuse me? Are you threatening my daughter?”

“No!” I glanced over my shoulder at my friends waiting for me. “Not at all. That’s not what I meant.”

His eyes narrowed as he said, “Then what did you mean?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. Get what you can’t survive without and get out of town. Get somewhere safe and secluded and stay there.”

I didn’t wait for him to respond or question me further. I turned and walked to my friends. Octavia tried to stop me, but I walked passed him. Luke kept pace with me.

“Why’d you do that?” Luke asked.

“My little brother, Jacob, is around her age.”

“So?” He took my hand and pulled it into the crook of his arm.

“What kind of chance would she have if she had to wait for her lawyer dad to react to something he thinks is impossible?”

Luke started to respond when a police officer grabbed his arm and pulled him to a stop. His partner latched onto my right wrist tightly, trying to shake my bat from my grip.

“Can I help you?” I snarled as I tightened my grip on the bat.

“Where do you kids think you’re going?” The first cop asked. He glared at Luke, like he was daring him to do something.

“Camping.” Raven glared at a third officer I hadn’t even seen yet. “That’s still legal right?”

“How are you going to get to a campground with all the problems going on today?” The cop holding my wrist asked.

“Sweetheart, we’re going to need you to drop the weapon.” The first officer slowly moved his hand to hip and unsnapped the strap over his stun gun.

“I’m not your sweetheart and it’s a bat not a weapon. It’s only a weapon when I’m swinging it so I’m not dropping it.” I replied. “Would you mind telling us why you’ve decided to stop us? I didn’t know Washington D.C. has a stop and frisk policy. It worked out so well in New York after all.”

“A bunch of teenagers walking around the city with camping gear and weapons is awfully suspicious isn’t it?” The second officer responded easily.

“So what’s with the gear?” The cop who was apparently trying to break my wrist asked.

“I think you know exactly what’s going.” I glared at her when I was finally able to yank my wrist out of her grip. “I think you know why we have camping gear. I think you know why we have this so-called weapon with us. I don’t know why you’re pulling out that stun gun. We all know it won’t work.”

“I don’t know what you think you know but the government has everything under control.” The cop grabbed for my arm again.

I took a step back. Lexa came to one side of me as Raven moved to the other.

“Tell you what,” Costia spoke quietly, “you can either let us go now or you can push our sick little friend here for us on our walk down to your precinct.”

Ophelia coughed loudly and, in my opinion, dramatically.

“She’s sick?” The first cop took a step back, covering his mouth.

“Hasn’t been able to move on her own for over a day.” Octavia shrugged and did her best to look sad.

All three officers stepped away from us. They started walking away before the one who had almost broken my wrist turned to me. “Move quickly and quietly. And get rid of the sick one. She’ll only slow you down.”


	8. Chapter 8

As it turns out, following a map is a lot more difficult when you can’t use the Internet to double check directions. Ms. Indra traced out a route for us but in doing so she drew over street names and that made finding where we were supposed to turn nearly impossible in some places.

After getting turned around for the fifth time, Raven insisted on asking a police officer for directions to the river. We were pretty close according to the map but we were in the middle of a subdivision of some sort. Raven spotted the officer with a huge black duffle bag walking down a side road.

“We find the river, we find the path.” Raven moved towards the cop but was stopped by Luke’s hand closing around the collar of her letterman jacket.

“The police are acting like nothing is happening.” Lexa argued.

Costia agreed, “what if he insists on taking us back to the hotel? Then this whole day was a waste.”

“I think there’s enough of us that we don’t have to worry about that. If we can’t get lights and phones to work, there’s no way his walkie-talkie will work. He won’t want to deal with seven or eight argumentative teens on his own.” Raven finally managed to shrug off Luke’s hand. “It’s not like he can force us into his squad car or something. It wouldn’t work remember? And besides that he’s on foot.”

The others whispered warnings and more than one threat as Raven approached the officer. I moved until I was about halfway between the group and Raven, in case the officer tried to grab my cousin. There was no need to worry, Raven had the officer laughing within seconds of approaching him. The cop nodded a lot during the conversation then started pointing and gesturing. In no time at all, Raven was walking back toward me with a smile on her face.

“Well?” I asked when she finally reached me.

Raven put her arm over my shoulders and walked with me back to the group. “He’s on his way home. He had some pretty interesting analogies for what’s going on with language I’d never dream of using in front of young ladies, although that didn’t stop him from using them in front of me, but essentially his plan is pretty close to ours. He’s getting out of here as soon as possible. He was more than happy to point us in the right direction.”

“Which is?” Costia asked.

Raven pointed in the direction we’d been walking. “The river is two miles or so in that direction. He said to walk to the riverbank and turn right. After another mile or two we’ll start seeing the signs for the trails.”

Ophelia shifted in her wheelchair, “I knew we were going in the right direction.”

“Go back to sleep Phy.” I rolled my eyes. She had to be right even when she hadn’t been conscious for over an hour.

Without speaking, Raven took Ophelia’s wheelchair from Octavia and started pushing. The rest of us fell into step behind them. Lexa and Luke walked in the back, their eyes constantly shifting and searching the buildings and streets around us.

After walking for almost twenty minutes Harper pointed down a side street and shrieked, “that guy has guns!”

As if we were one person, we all stopped walking. I moved in the direction she pointed, separating from the group by about fifteen feet. Sure enough, there was a man, one who looked like a lumberjack, loading gun after gun and box of ammunition after box of ammunition into one of the largest trucks I’d ever seen.

“Keep walking. His truck can’t work anyway.” Luke put an arm Harper and moved her forward. Lexa and Octavia followed. Raven and I considered each other for a second before we started walking toward the man.

“What are you doing?” Lexa called after us.

“Maybe he’s a friendly lumberjack who is willing to trade,” I yelled back. “Stay here.”

Suddenly Luke was walking next to me and whispering harshly, “Are you crazy Clarke? What do we have that he could want?”

“Didn’t I say you all should stay there?”

“You know he could choose to take your backpack right? What can you offer as a trade for a gun?” He asked.

“Water.” Raven pointed toward the man’s garage. “He’s got some food and a lot of weapons but I don’t see any water. And it looks like he EMP proofed his garage which means that truck probably still works. He’s got more than enough protection for himself, but he won’t last long if he can’t get clean water.”

“What makes you think he’ll want trade with a bunch of kids?”

I shrugged, “Sometimes the biggest guys have the softest hearts. They tend to be protectors.”

Luke argued with us until we reached the man. Once we were within earshot the lumberjack turned with a scoped hunting rifle in his hands. The man was sweating and even from a distance I could hear his wheezing breath. When we stopped a few feet away from him he spoke quietly. “How far you kids going?”

“Ohio. Almost to Michigan.” I replied.

He coughed into his elbow then, after clearing his throat he spit on the ground to his left, he said, “Pardon me, I’m feeling a little under the weather.”

“I think a lot of people know how you’re feeling. Like our friend in the wheelchair.” I pointed at our little group waiting a few hundred yards away.

“I’d offer you a ride but I’m sure this will only make me more of a target.” The man looked like he felt guilty for not being able to give us a ride.

“Then why take the truck?” Luke asked.

“I have to get home to Nashville. This will get me farther faster.” The man wiped his face with a handkerchief. “I’m glad my son convinced me to do all that work on the garage. Otherwise I’d be hoofing it the whole way.”

Silence filled the air between the man and us. I didn’t know how to ask for a gun in exchange for a few bottles of water. As much as I wanted to suggest a trade, he could easily point that rifle at us and demand we turn over all our supplies.

The man broke the silence. “How old are you young lady?”

“Seventeen.”

“I’ve got a daughter that’s your age. Most stubborn girl in the world.”

Raven snorted out a laugh. “I think that’s a title Clarke could claim too.”

The man’s laugh was cut short by a series of hacking coughs. He bent over and put his hands on his knees, gasping between coughs. I tried to speak to him, to offer him a drink of water or something but he couldn’t hear me over his coughing. He finally stood, spit again, and took a deep breath. “Now then…”

Without giving a clue as to what he’d been planning on saying next he fell forward onto his knees hitting his head on the tailgate of his truck and collapsed onto the road.

Raven immediately knelt next to him and held a hand to the side of his neck. “He doesn’t have a pulse!”

“Get away from him!” Luke grabbed the collar of Raven’s letterman jacket and pulled her away.

“We have to give him CPR!” I argued. I moved to help the man but Luke’s other hand clamped around my upper arm, stopping me from approaching the man.

From behind us I heard Harper’s breathless voice, like she’d sprinted up on us, “There’s no way to help him. CPR rarely works without something else to preserve life like drugs or a defibrillator.”

“Would you quit grabbing me like that? I am not a dog!” Raven finally managed to pull her jacket from Luke’s grip. She turned and glared at the rest of the group as they approached. “What do you mean?”

“I mean we can’t help him. Trying to help will only expose us to the virus.” Harper panted.

I looked between Luke and Harper before turning back to the man. “So we do nothing?”

“There’s nothing to do Clarke. You heard Harper.” Costia studied her nails.

“Is she a doctor?” Raven snapped. Even with her jacket free from Luke’s grip she couldn’t get close to the man, Lexa was now blocking her.

“It’s a statistical fact Raven.” Ophelia spoke without opening her eyes. “Harper’s right. Only eight percent of people outside a hospital survive after getting CPR. And that’s when there are professional people helping. There’s nothing to do.”

Raven tried to argue but Ophelia and Harper were adamant they were right. Even if we could have convinced the girls they were wrong, Lexa and Luke had formed a two-person wall between the dead man and us.

Finally Raven threw her hands up. “Fine! What are we supposed to do now?”

“Let’s take the truck.” Costia suggested.

I immediately shook my head. “No. The man was right about it making him a target. And we couldn’t all fit in there anyway.”

“So I’ll take the truck and whoever wants to go with me is welcome.” Costia smiled up at Lexa.

Octavia shook her head. “It’d be too easy for someone to take it from us. We should stick to the plan we already have.”

After more arguing and more than one vote Costia finally dropped the issue. We did decide to take some of the weapons and ammunition the man had packed in his truck though. A softball bat would only go so far in protecting us.

Raven pulled the scoped hunting rifle from the man’s hands and slid the strap over her head so it ran diagonally across her body. She and Harper went into the house to look around while the rest of us grabbed what we could carry from the truck.

The man had an arsenal. There were all different kinds of guns, everything from rifles to shotguns and revolvers to fully automatic weapons, in the bed of the truck with more ammunition than a small army could use in a year. I climbed up into the bed and started looking through the gun cases, hoping to find one I was familiar with. Finally, at the bottom of the pile, I found an AR-15 with a tactical one-point sling already attached. It was exactly like the gun my dad let me use during our target practice.

Soon we were decked out like a miniature military unit. I had my AR-15 hanging comfortably from its sling, a tactical belt, one that I was sure belonged to the daughter the man had mentioned, with pouches filled with extra clips of ammunition, and a small pack I’d found full of more clips and ammunition hooked to my book bag with a carabineer. Raven had a similar set-up with her hunting rifle, as did Lexa with a wicked looking M-1. Luke and Octavia both picked handguns from the stash, Luke chose a Springfield 1911 while Octavia selected a Beretta M9. They’d both strapped holsters to their belts and, like Raven, Lexa, and me, had extra pouches for clips and had stored even more ammunition in their packs.

Costia and Harper refused to touch the guns because they’d never handled one before. Instead Costia found a fancy looking fabric roll that held an interesting collection of knives and other blades. She took a little too long for my comfort selecting her weapons. She had a small smile on her face as she pulled each knife from its sheathe and ran her fingers over the blade, studying them closely. Finally she chose three, a normal looking knife with a fixed blade that was as long as my hand she snapped into place around her belt on her right hip, a completely black folding knife that she slipped into the back pocket of her jeans, and her last choice was a machete. It was her last choice that threw me the most. We were going to be on trails that had been in use for decades or longer, it wasn’t like we were going to be in a jungle where she’d need to hack a path out of foliage for us. Shooting a smug look in my direction, she slid the sheath onto her belt and announced she was ready.

Compared to Costia, Harper hardly seemed to consider the blades. She took a fixed blade knife similar to the one Costia had chosen and a weirdly curved knife that she slipped into her bag along with a knife that had a hook at the end of blade. Then she stood and climbed into the bed of the truck. She dug through gun cases and ammunition boxes for a few minutes. Then she let out a loud whooping sound and held up a tomahawk. I laughed at the smile that stretched across her face.

“A tomahawk?” Octavia shook her head.

“At least this won’t run out of ammo.” Harper nodded. “What were you planning on doing when we needed wood for a fire? And what if we need to chop some wood?”

“Good point!” I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of that. Considering the knives that remained, I grabbed the last folding knife and slid it into the back pocket of my jeans. Better to be safe than dead. I was turning to jump back down when a small box caught my eye. I lifted a bag out of the way and smiled at my luck. The man had packed a few boxes of antiviral medications. They weren’t going to cure Ophelia but they could help ease her symptoms enough that her body would stand a fighting chance of resisting the sickness.

Finally we were ready to go. We’d left behind plenty of guns and ammunition, not to mention the knives and machetes and tomahawks we were leaving in the truck. As we started to leave the truck, Raven snapped her fingers and ran back into the house. When she reappeared, she had a small book bag, like a child would use in elementary school, and jumped into the bed of the truck. She filled it as full as she could with clips and magazines. By the time she finished we each had at least a few hundred rounds for our guns. It seemed like a lot but if we weren’t careful, we’d go through it quickly. She jumped back down and draped the shoulder straps over the handgrips on Ophelia’s wheelchair.

Before we started walking again I went through the man’s pockets and found his keys. Raven, Lexa and I locked up his house and garage before hiding the keys inside a bush by the front door. The keys to the truck we hid in the tree house in the neighbor’s backyard. Raven and Octavia dragged the man into his front yard and covered him with a tarp held down with rocks.

Without looking back, we started walking. This time, we had some security in the weapons we’d taken from a dead man. It helped me feel a little safer but it also made me feel a bit like a grave robber.

****

Much later we finally approached the river. We turned right like the police officer told Raven and walked some more. It didn’t take much longer to find the path after that.

Truth be told I’d never noticed how much it took to entertain me. It wasn’t until I had no other choice that I realized how boring it was to just walk. We had no phones or PSPs or iPods to entertain us. There was only the trail and us.

At least the path was mostly smooth enough for Ophelia’s wheelchair to move easily. The dirt had been flattened and hardened by years of use. Every once in a while she would almost tip out of the chair because one of the front wheels got stuck in a crevice or on a rock. I couldn’t believe how the tiniest pebble could stop the chair abruptly enough to almost send her face first into the dirt.

For a while Luke and Lexa tried to keep track of where on we were on the path but there weren’t a whole lot of signs to help in that endeavor. If there was a branch-off or a cross-trail we could update the map but mostly it was guessing based on how long they thought we’d been walking. After a lifetime of relying on smartphones and GPS it seemed like an impossible feat to tell time or distance on our own.

All I could think during that first day of walking was that clearly our ancestors must have had some pretty useful survival skills that got lost over the centuries. I came from a family filled with paranoia and people who could start a fire with a piece of flint and a rock but I never paid much attention to the things my parents tried to teach me. I’d always nod my head when lectures started or hold in my sighs when Dad would force me onto the shooting range for hours. It had always been about humoring my family, not learning what they were trying to teach me. Raven wasn’t much better than me. She was all about conspiracies but never felt the need to learn any of the actual skills needed to survive. During that first day of walking I kept thinking if I’d listened to even one day’s worth of Dad’s lectures I’d know what I needed to do to guarantee survival.


	9. Chapter 9

As the sun neared the horizon I stopped walking. “I think we need to find somewhere to settle in for the night.”

“There’s got to be another hour or so of daylight at least.” Lexa replied over her shoulder as she walked further down the trail.

“So we have an hour to find somewhere to settle in and set up our crappy little camp.” I snapped.

Lexa stopped and turned to me. “We’ll find something in a little while. Isn’t it better to get some more distance between us and the city?”

“It’s stupid to wait until the last minute to find somewhere safe to sleep for the night.” I said. “I don’t think another hour of trudging is going to make much of a difference.”

“There’s less than an hour of sunlight left.” Harper said as she turned to look at the sun. Then she held up a hand to block the rays from her eyes.

Costia smiled up at Lexa. “Let’s keep going. She can stay back on her own if that’s what she wants.”

“No, Clarke’s right. We need to be smart about when and where we camp.” Luke grabbed my hand and pulled me off the trail and into the woods. “You guys wait here, we’ll go see what we can find.”

I waited for him to let go of my hand but he didn’t seem to be in any kind of a hurry to do that. We walked through the woods slowly, looking all around us for somewhere that was clear enough for us to bring our friends, especially Ophelia and her wheelchair. We walked up a small hill and found ourselves staring at a huge house in the middle of the woods.

Luke studied the structure. “Do you think anybody’s in there?”

Before I could respond a window flew open and a woman appeared. She held the curtain out of her way as she yelled, “Who are you?”

“No one important ma’am.” I called back.

“What do you want?”

“We were looking for somewhere to sleep for the night.” I took a small step back.

An elderly woman leaned out of the window. She had the kind of face that made it easy to tell she’d been drop-dead gorgeous when she was young. She also had a large gun in her hands. “Are you armed?”

I glanced at Luke. He had his pistol in its holster while I had my rifle hanging from the harness on my shoulder. We had the guns but they were useless unless they were in our hands and ready to be used. Together we raised our hands. “Yes ma’am.”

“How many of you are there?”

“Eight.” I replied easily. “And one of us is sick.”

The woman immediately started shaking her head. “No! No sick! You take your people to the house about eight hundred yards that way.” She pointed to her right. “No one is home over there. The idiots went on vacation in the Dominican.”

“Yes ma’am.” I nodded and took another step back.

“And you stay out of my sight.”

“Of course. Not a problem!” I grabbed Luke’s hand and pulled him toward where she’d pointed.

“She was kind of crazy.” Luke laughed.

I shook my head. “I think she was all the way crazy.”

It was getting darker by the minute as we approached the empty house. Like the woman told us, it looked empty. It was also locked up. We tried all the doors and windows we could reach.

“I give up.” I said. “We need Raven.”

Nearby we found a small worn path that took us back to the trail. After a short walk, we rounded a bend and found our friends sitting around where we’d left them. We quickly explained the short standoff with the woman and how she’d pointed out the empty house to us.

“We’re going to need your skills to get in Raven.” I smiled at her.

“Done.” She nodded and playfully cracked her knuckles. My cousin loved showing off. Raven followed me quickly down the path to the house. Luke led the others at a slower pace.

Raven and I were at the house within minutes. She walked around the house a couple of times, trying to pick her target. Finally she shook her head.

“Let’s do this the easy way.” She walked to the back of the house.

I followed her. “Easy way?”

She pointed up. “Balcony. Most people don’t bother to lock the doors because they’re hard to get to and this house has an alarm system. No need to lock it.”

“Too bad for them the alarm won’t work now.” I almost felt bad for breaking in.

“I’m choosing to not think about that Clarke. Join me in that happy land won’t you?” Raven sighed dramatically. She stared up at the balcony again. “They may be nice people who would have offered us a place to sleep anyway. If they were here I mean.”

I scoffed. “Of course they would. A group of armed teenagers would totally be welcome here.”

“We could have kept walking you know.”

“It’s almost dark. We wouldn’t be able to see.”

Raven smiled and bent over her backpack to unzip a smaller pack she’d attached when we were stopped at the man with the truck’s house. She reached inside and pulled out a glow stick. “I grabbed a bunch of these from that truck. We’d have been fine.”

“You grabbed glow sticks? Why?”

“What if, by some small miracle, we find a working radio and want to have a rave?” She started beat boxing and dancing. She grabbed my hand and spun me around, waving the glow stick over my head. “You know we could never have a rave without glow sticks Clarke.”

I pulled away and laughed. “Did you squirrel anything else that could be useful away?”

Raven shrugged. “A small first aid kit.”

“So nothing that can get us into the house? Like a rope?”

“Ah. No. Did not think of that.” Raven dropped the glow stick back in her pack and zipped it up again. She moved to stand next to me and looked up at the balcony again. “That would have come in handy right about now.”

We were still staring up at the balcony when the others finally reached the house.

“Why don’t you grab a ladder?” Lexa was panting from pushing Ophelia’s trail up the rough little path.

Raven shook her head. “No ladders. I checked. It’s too high for me to jump. I doubt any of us could jump that high.”

“So do a prep mount to an extension.” Harper said softly.

The others turned and stared at her, confused by what I could only guess was cheerleading terminology.

Raven opened and closed her mouth a few times before replying, “Do a what to a what?”

Before Harper could reply Costia let out a dramatic sigh and walked over to Luke. She took him by his hips, pushing and pulling until he was partially underneath the balcony. She took care to position him just right. Then she walked to Lexa and did the same thing. All that would have been fine, and not at all annoying, except she kept looking up at Lexa through her eyes lashes while biting her bottom lip.

Lexa pushed her hands off her hips and moved to stand across from Luke.

“Now what?” Raven asked, studying the position of the guys and the height of the balcony. I could tell by her stance she thought it wasn’t going to work.

Costia explained the process of the cheerleading lift to the guys. After a couple of minutes, she said, “So I guess you’ll have to lift me, I’m probably the lightest.”

I rolled my eyes when she looked me up and down before smirking at me. It was true she was thinner than I was but she wasn’t as small as Harper. I waved my hand at Lexa and Luke, “Be my guest.”

Luke and Lexa lifted her slowly up and over their heads, Octavia and Raven stood in front of them watching with concern clear on their faces. Costia could easily reach the balcony but when she grabbed the bars and tried to pulled herself up, she couldn’t move more than a few inches. After a handful of pitiful attempts, and more than one unladylike grunt, she told them to let her down again. She was panting and sweating when her feet hit the ground.

“Tough workout?” It was my turn to smirk. “Skip too many arm days?”

Costia glared back. “Let’s see you do it then.”

“I’m good. But thanks.”

Lexa rolled her eyes before pulling me over to stand between her and Luke. “We’re losing what little daylight we have left and it’s probably going to be cold tonight. You were the one who insisted on finding a place to camp before it got dark. I’d like to get a fire going before it’s too dark to see. So up you go Griffin.”

On the count of three I was hoisted into the air. As I reached my hands over my head I had to close my eyes, because I hated heights of any kind. After putting my hand through a spider web or three I opened my eyes enough to see the bars on the balcony and grabbed ahold of them. It took more than a little bit of effort but I was standing on the balcony in no time.

****

Just like Raven had predicted the owners must have seen no reason to lock the doors to the balcony. I was able to turn the knob and walk right in. I found myself in a bedroom with two beds in it. I took the time to glance around the adjoining rooms; apparently I’d let myself into a suite of rooms, before quickly making my way down to the front door to let my friends inside.

“This place is huge!” Harper stared around in complete wonder. When she turned to say something more to me, her eyes grew round. She grabbed my arm and pulled me to her side.

Even as I tried to free my arm from her grasped and move away from her, confused by her actions, a man stepped out of the shadows by the huge fireplace. My eyes immediately fell to the shotgun in his hands. “It’s also occupied.”

Harper and I put our hands up as Luke and Lexa moved to stand in front of us. I nudged Luke’s shoulder so he’d move out of the way. I wanted to see the man.

Lexa spoke first, “We don’t want trouble sir. We only want to get some sleep. The woman in the house next door said this house was empty.”

“Well me and mine are here so it isn’t. Now you all can get out.”

“Please sir, my sister is sick. She can’t be out in the cold.” Octavia replied.

The man’s eyes narrowed. When they fell on Ophelia, who was behind us in her wheelchair, he lifted the shotgun and held it firmly to his shoulder. “You brought one of them in here? Are you trying to kill us all?”

“Whoa!” Lexa stepped in front of Ophelia. “She’s just a little under the weather. Recovering from bronchitis. Bad luck that she got it on our class trip. Even worse luck that everyone is getting sick now. People keep getting jumpy around her, like they think she’s got the Plague.”

“She does have the Plague! No sick person is coming near me and mine!” The man moved his finger over the trigger.

“Frank!” A woman came running down the wide staircase. “You lower that gun right now!”

“She’s sick Marta.”

“That’s right. She’s sick Frank. That means she needs help.” The woman put her hand on the barrel of the gun and forced him to lower it. “Now put it away. You’re scaring the children.”

They argued quietly for a few minutes. Finally Marta turned to us and smiled. “There’s a suite of rooms upstairs and to the right. Probably where the young lady came in. Plenty of room for you there.”

“You keep to those rooms. We’ll keep to ours.” Frank growled. I think he’d have raised his gun back to his shoulder if Marta hadn’t slapped the barrel down again.

We nodded. It was hard to argue with a shotgun, even when we had guns too. I guess the deciding factor was that our rifles were hanging from our shoulder when he’d pointed his shotgun at us. There wasn’t much good they could do once he had us in his sights. There was no way to get them into a firing position without risking Frank pulling the trigger.

****

We climbed the stairs quickly and, after waiting for Octavia to carry Ophelia up, practically ran to our suite of rooms. Once securely inside we were not disappointed to learn that it was a suite similar to the hotel suite. There were three bedrooms and a sofa bed. One bedroom had a king size bed, another had a queen size bed, the last one, the one I’d entered the house through, had two full size beds.

Octavia and I got Ophelia settled into the bedroom with the king-sized bed after getting her cleaned up from our day on the trail. she forced her to take some of the flu medicine I’d taken from the truck and drink some water. We made sure she was comfortable and warm before going back into the living room of the suite.

Like she’d promised, Lexa had a fire going. Someone found candles and lit several around the room. After a few quiet conversations and one argument about whether or not we were going to trust Frank and Marta and their group, it was decided that we’d move the sofa in front of the door in case someone tried to get in.

“You know if one of us had been able to get into the house, we would have been able to make sure it was safe for the girls.” Lexa said quietly to Luke once we were settled on the furniture in the living room.

“I know. I can’t believe we helped Clarke get in before we knew it was safe.” He replied.

“Excuse me?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I had checked several rooms before I’d let them in. I hadn’t thought to check the other wing of bedrooms because it never occurred to me in the silence.

“You don’t know what to look for Griffin.” Lexa responded without looking at me. When I tried to argue she spoke over me. “I think we ought to make sure one of us does the checking from now on so we don’t get surprised again. It could have ended badly down there.”

I clenched my fists in my lap. “I’m new to all this stuff. All of us are new to this! I’m allowed a mistake or two aren’t I?”

“Your mistake today could have gotten one of us hurt.” Costia grinned at me. She was definitely enjoying my error, even if it had initially scared the wits out of her.

“I’ll make sure to check every nook and cranny more thoroughly next time.” I stood and saluted Lexa. “Sorry Commander, it won’t happen again.”

I moved to stand in silence looking out the window for the remainder of the evening. I was beyond relieved when Raven and Octavia suggested we all head to bed. I wanted to get away from Lexa as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, I couldn’t be completely alone because I was stuck sharing a room with Costia and Harper.

I was settling into my bed when I remembered the balcony door. Like the hapless owners of this house we hadn’t thought to lock it. I jumped out of bed and ran over to the door to secure it. Then I checked all the other rooms in the suite. The other bedrooms both had balconies as well.

As I headed back to my room, Raven spoke from her perch on the couch. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. I wanted to make sure everything was locked.” I walked into the living room, waving at Octavia and Luke who were arranging their sleeping areas near the door, and sat on the edge of the couch. “If we can get in here you know someone else can. It’d be our luck right?”

Raven smiled. “If it can go wrong, it will. And it always seems to happen to us.”

I nodded and leaned against the arm of the couch. Raven and I hadn’t had a chance to actually talk since the beginning of the trip. We’d briefly discussed the newest video game she had preordered and the amazing new action movie I wanted to see while we were in the bus on the way down to Washington. Now all I could think about was this incredibly long journey we had ahead of us.

“So, what are our chances?” I asked quietly. I didn’t want Octavia or Luke overhearing me.

“I don’t know Clarke. I want to be all optimistic and happy but that guy pointed his gun at us. Like actually pointed a gun at us. The power has only been out for a day. I thought it would take longer for that kind of thing to start happening. Who points a gun at kids?”

“Some people just don’t like teenagers.” I joked weakly. When she responded by rolling her eyes I shrugged. “Honestly, I think because of all the technology and gadgets people have forgotten what it means to have to survive. We’ve all lived but I don’t remember a time when we’ve actually had to survive.”

“But still, pointing a shotgun point blank at a stranger’s chest seems a bit drastic.”

“Raven, people aren’t used to dealing with people anymore. Parents aren’t used to dealing with their kids, they have tablets and television for that now. Friends aren’t used to actually engaging with friends, they text each other when they’re in the same room. Adults definitely aren’t used to actually dealing with teenagers, they’re too used to seeing us with phones in our faces.”

“Someone is seeing the silver lining isn’t she?” She laughed.

“It’s going to take a while for people to get used to people again, that’s all I’m saying.”

Raven smiled and played with the flame of a candle that was on the coffee table. “The short blackouts caused by snow or lightning seem like a cake walk right about now.”

“What if there’s never electricity again. What if we’re never able to flip a light switch or watch a movie?”

“Why are you trying to make me cry?” She looked horrified.

“I think you have to consider all of that Raven. What if all the people who know how to fix what’s been broken die from the Angolan Flu?”

Raven’s hand froze over the flame as she stared at me. She jerked her hand away and stuck her index finger in her mouth. “You’re just a ray of sunshine Clarke. Always glass half full with you isn’t it?”

“I try.” I grinned.

I gave her a quick hug and left the living room. After double-checking all of the doors, I returned to my bed. My eyes closed almost instantly.

“Hey Griffin?” Lexa whispered.

“Yeah Woods?” I whispered back. A part of me was hoping she was there to apologize for the things she’d said earlier.

“You’re in my bed.”

Of course there was no apology. I must have missed the bed assignments while I was looking out the windows. I’d heard the other girls were in the room with two beds so that’s where I’d gone. I rolled over and saw her standing at the foot of the bed.

Harper and Costia were already asleep in the other bed. Raven had followed me out of the living room and gone into the room with the queen-sized bed. She was probably already snoring, Luke was on the sofa bed in front of the door, and Octavia was on the couch cushions outside Ophelia’s room. That, of course, left Lexa and me.

“Excuse me?”

“Wouldn’t you feel more comfortable sleeping with Costia and Harper? Or Raven?”

I hadn’t blown out my candle yet so I know she had no trouble seeing me roll my eyes. I settled back in the bed. “The three of us in a full sized bed? No. And Raven can't sleep if someone is next to her. Wouldn’t you be more comfortable sleeping with Luke?”

“No. He kicks in his sleep.”

I forced my head deeper into the pillow. “I’ll keep that in mind in the future.”

“Come on Griffin! I’m tired.” Lexa whined and poked at my foot. “Go sleep with the other girls.”

I snorted and replied, “Why don’t you go sleep with them? Isn’t Costia your type?”

Lexa growled in response. “Don’t go there Griffin.”

“I’m comfortable Woods.”

“Where am I supposed to sleep?”

I yawned and pulled back the blankets on the other side of the bed. She didn’t move. She stood there, staring at me like she had no idea what I was doing. “Get in bed Woods. And stay on your side!”

****

The next morning I woke up to a scream. At first I thought maybe I’d woken myself up from a nightmare, like I’d done all the time as a child. When I tried to remember what I’d been dreaming about, nothing came back to me except a closed door. Then I tried to sit up only to find myself trapped by Lexa’s arms wrapped around my waist. I rolled onto my back and studied Lexa’s peaceful face. That was when I noticed her arm was attached to her shirtless torso. Apparently Lexa Woods liked to sleep in shorts and a sports bra. Luckily the next scream woke her up. Her arm tightened around me as we stared at each other. The third scream had her jumping out of bed, pulling me up after her. Together we ran toward the sound. The fourth scream sounded like it came from outside, so we changed directions and went out on the balcony.

We stared out at the forest. In the dozen or so meters between the balcony and the tree line, the only area clear enough for us to see anything, we couldn’t see anyone being chased and no one who was hurt. More importantly no was screaming. There was no one out there.

“Who was that Lexa?” I shivered in the breeze. “Where is she?”

She wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “I don’t know Griffin. I could have sworn the screams were coming from out here somewhere.”

I scanned the forest again, looking for anything out of place. It was useless, nothing looked unusual. Then again, what did I know? I’d never spent a great deal of time in the woods, other than the occasional walk through the local metro park with my great-grandparents.

Lexa and I must have been on the balcony for close to five minutes before another series of screams woke the others. This time it was easy to tell the screams were coming from inside the house. We could hear it through the open windows below us. Lexa turned and walked back to the room and grabbed her shirt. Or rather she grabbed my shirt, the one she’d stolen from me. She opened the bedroom door as another scream rang out. The others already were awake and moving around the living room quickly. Costia and Harper stood to one side and watched while the rest of us ran around frantically. Without talking about it, we started moving the furniture so they could go see what was happening. I barely convinced them to cover their faces before they left.

I looked at them, my little makeshift army of protectors, and I had to fight back tears. When I sniffled they all looked alarmed.

“No worries Griffin, we’ll be fine.” Lexa winked as she opened the door.

Octavia squeezed me in a quick hug. “Nothing to worry about.”

“Yeah, we’ve got Lexa’s abs after all. What else could we need?” Raven added as she checked to make sure her rifle was loaded.

“Hurry up and go so you can get back.” I replied.

I held up my pinky again. Not knowing what they were going to find when they located the source of the screaming I definitely wanted a promise they would all be back soon. Octavia and Raven didn’t hesitate. They wrapped their pinkies around mine as they stepped through the door. Lexa barely managed not rolling her eyes when she followed their examples. Luke shook my pinky like it was a hand and trailed the others out the door. I watched them disappear down the stairs before closing the door.

I went back to the balcony. I needed a distraction and checking to make sure there wasn’t anything out of the ordinary seemed like a good one. Costia and Harper soon joined me.

“So,” Costia rocked back on her heels once before she crossed her arms over her chest and leaned her hip against the railing.

I glanced at them before continuing my search. “So?”

“You and Lexa huh?” She smiled at me. I suddenly knew exactly what it felt like to be a fly caught in a spider’s web.

“Excuse me?” I closed my eyes and shook my head. I was sure I hadn’t heard her correctly. Turning to face the other girl I studied her carefully before I shaking my head again. “No.”

Harper crossed her arms over her chest. “I saw you two this morning.”

I arched my brow. “What about it?”

“Her arm was around you.” She replied.

I didn’t know if she meant while we were in bed or on the balcony, so I shrugged, trying to play it off. “I was cold.”

Costia unfolded her arms and took a step toward me. “So maybe you should have grabbed a jacket.”

I sighed. “If you have something to say, please just say it.”

“Stay away from her.” Costia sneered.

“Who?” I looked back and forth between the girls. “Lexa?”

“Who else?” Harper replied.

Before I could reply, Costia slapped me hard across the face. She must have reached for me again because a second or two later I felt her nails scratch my neck. Harper stepped between us. Costia tried to reach around her while screaming, “She’s mine! Stay away from her!”

“I don’t want her!” I shoved Harper aside and punched Costia in the face, square on the nose.

By the time Costia and Harper recovered from their shock, I was already in the house and locking the door behind me. They pounded on the glass door, screaming to be let in.

“Quit making so much noise!” I yelled through the door. They only pounded harder causing the glass to rattle. I glared at them. “I’ll come back out there and toss you over the rail!”

“It’s cold out here!” Costia stomped her foot.

“Should’ve grabbed a jacket.” I muttered. I dabbed at the scratches on my neck with a tissue. The girls huffed and glared but stopped yelling. Eventually they sat down on the lounge chairs.

The others were gone for what felt like an eternity. I sat on the bed I’d shared with Lexa and stared out the door at Costia and Harper. Every once in a while one of them would check the door to see if I’d unlocked it. When that got boring I went to Ophelia’s room to check on her. I offered her some of the flu medicine I’d taken from the man’s truck. Once she took it and drank a cup of water I tucked her back in and watched her fall asleep.

I was sitting in the living room when the others returned. Lexa was shirtless again. My shirt was balled up in one of her hands while the other held a huge bucket of steaming water. She looked through the living room and into the bedroom we’d slept in the night before. When I tried to explain why Costia and Harper were pouting silently on the balcony she shook her head and went into the bathroom.

Raven collapsed on the sofa bed. Her arm covered her eyes and she pretended to go back to sleep. Luke fell onto one of the chairs with a groan.

I turned to Octavia. “What happened?”

“We found an elderly man. A sick elderly man. Some lady had gone into his room to check on him. He practically had her in a choke hold. He was coughing so hard. There was blood coming from his nose and ears. She couldn’t get him off of her.” Octavia shuddered. “There was this look in his eyes Griff. He knew he was hurting her but I think he was too scared to care.”

“Lexa?” I asked.

“She did what needed to be done.” Luke rubbed his hands over his short hair. “She got the guy to let the woman go but got covered in blood and… other stuff in the process.”

“Are you guys okay?” I studied each of them carefully, looking for injuries from the tops of their heads to their feet.

“I’ll have nightmares for years but yeah. I’m fine.” Octavia smiled a little. “Luckily that lady, Marta, offered us some boiled water for Lexa to use to clean up.”

I hugged her tightly, ignoring the blood splattered on her shirt. “Is Lexa okay?”

I felt her shrug. “I don’t know. She wouldn’t talk.”

We stood in silence for a couple of minutes before I heard a noise from the balcony. Harper was at the door, testing the handle.

“Griff?” Octavia chuckled.

“Yeah?” I followed her gaze to the door.

“Why can’t they get in? And why is there blood on Costia’s face?”

“She threatened me over Woods.” I backed out of her arms. “She slapped me and I’m pretty sure she tried to choke me. Harper got between us. She’s bleeding because I punched her. I think I may have broken her nose. I hope I broke her nose.”

“And why can’t they get in?” Luke asked.

“Because the door is locked.” I replied.

Before they could continue questioning me I went to the bathroom door and knocked.

“Woods?” I whispered. When she didn’t respond I knocked again. “Lexa.”

I heard the lock click. I tried the knob again. This time it turned easily so I could enter the small room and close the door behind me.

Lexa stood in the middle of the small space. Her brown hair was still dripping from the water she must have poured over herself. Her jeans were hanging low on her hips, her belt still not done up, a different black sports bra on, and another one of my softball shirts draped over her shoulder.

“Quit ruining my shirts Woods.” I stared over her shoulder at the mosaic tiles decorating the shower, not wanting to meet her eyes.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Lexa smile sadly. Without warning, she pulled me into her arms. She tucked my head into her chest so hers could rest on top of mine, her arms squeezing me. When she spoke my hair muffled her voice. “They’re comfortable and they smell good. Plus it annoys you. Win-win-win.”

I had no idea what to do with my hands. Sure, Lexa and I were friends. We were antagonistic with one another but still friends. I didn’t think I liked her enough to hug her. Not like that anyway. And definitely not when she wasn’t wearing a shirt. Suddenly my confrontation with Costia and Harper made more sense. Still, I couldn’t leave the traumatized girl hanging, antagonistic or not. So I wrapped my arms around her waist and held tightly, trying to force the awkwardness in my limbs away.

“Octavia said you were impressive.” I spoke into her chest. “Thank you for keeping her safe. And Raven too.”

“Evermore right Griffin?” She moved one hand up to my face so she could put a finger under my chin, forcing me to meet her eyes so she could wink. She squeezed me once more before reaching behind me to open the door.

Lexa stepped out of the bathroom, taking in our friends snoozing in the living room and Raven staring at Harper and Costia on the balcony like they were monkeys in a zoo. I had to laugh when she tapped the glass door.

“Griffin.” Lexa sighed and pulled on my shirt. “Why are they out there?”

I shrugged behind her. “Let them in. They can explain it all themselves.”

Raven unlocked the door, allowing the girls inside. She opened her arms wide and smiled. “Welcome back!”

“That was beyond dramatic Clarke. Especially coming from you. We could have frozen to death out there!” Costia spat at me as she shoved Raven out of her way. She hurried to Lexa who automatically wrapped her arms around her. As soon as she realized what she was doing, she grimaced and loosened her hold. Suddenly I felt a little more antagonistic.

“It’s almost sixty degrees out there.” Octavia pointed out.

“What happened?” Lexa asked as she stepped away from Costia.

Harper stomped her foot. “She locked us out! For no reason!”

“You threatened me. You attacked me!” I pointed at the scratch marks on my neck. “Over Woods!”

“What about me?” Lexa looked genuinely confused.

Waving my hand at the girls I glared at Lexa. “She wants me to stay away from you. I told her there isn’t anything going on. But does she listen? No!”

“Is that why she’s wearing your shirt?” Harper asked.

“That’s her thing, not mine.”

“Well stop giving them to her. It makes you look desperate.” Costia said.

I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t help myself. “First, I haven’t given her anything. She’s doing it to annoy me. Second, if I ever want to avoid looking desperate, you’re the last person I’d go to for advice.”

Costia spent the next couple of minutes calling me every name she could think of.

Finally, more annoyed than I’d ever been, I yelled. “Just because you’re the most popular girl back home doesn’t make you important here!”

Costia’s head snapped back like I’d punched her again, “What did you say?”

“What possible skills can you bring to this group? Can you shoot a gun? Can you clean one? Can you help find fresh water? Whatever is happening out there, I don’t think anyone will be impressed or threatened by giggling fits and hair flips!”

“That’s why we need Lexa! And Luke!” Costia screeched. She moved a little closer to Lexa. “You can keep the whore and the nerd. We don’t–”

“Hey!” Raven interrupted, apparently offended. She jabbed a finger toward Costia and spoke in a serious tone. “I am a geek. Not a nerd. There is a difference!”

Luke had abandoned his spot on the sofa bed. He looked furious as he stalked toward Costia. “Whore?”

“You know what I meant.” Costia huffed. She was apparently dumber than I’d thought. She didn’t even flinch, not one step back, as Luke approached her. “Octavia Blake has quite the reputation. Ask Lexa’s brother.”

“Lincoln and I didn’t do anything that would make me a whore Costia.” Octavia rolled her eyes. “And even if we did, he’d never tell you.”

“Maybe I’d prefer to travel with the whore and the nerd without a couple of useless princesses.” Luke stormed out of the room and slammed the door.

“Geek!” Raven yelled after him.

“You can’t leave us!” Harper’s face took on a tint of green.

I shook my head. As much as they annoyed me I knew I couldn’t leave Harper and Costia to fend for themselves. It’d be the same as tossing two toddlers into the ocean. It would mean certain death. “I didn’t say we were leaving you behind. I just… you need to think long and hard about your position in this group. We’re only as strong as our weakest member.”

“You can’t leave people behind Clarke!” Costia, for the first time on the trip, looked worried.

I rolled my eyes. Leave it to Costia to pick up on that but not what I’d actually meant. “Nobody is saying that we should.”

“Except Luke.” Raven pointed out.

“Nobody except Luke is saying we should leave you behind.” I corrected myself. “Try to understand that this is about all of us and not just you.”

I walked away, or as far away as the suite allowed. Raven and I unpacked and repacked our gear. The others slowly began to follow our example. Octavia dragged her pack over and smiled when I slapped her hands away to repack it for her, like she knew I would.

Luke came back and went into one of the bedrooms with Lexa. I could hear them talking quietly to one another. I only caught a few words but I definitely heard Lexa ask Luke to help her out with something.

Octavia nudged me to get my attention again. “So they warned you away from Lexa? They want you to stay away from her? Maybe they see something you’re missing.”

I glanced over at Costia. She was staring daggers at me. I don’t think I’d seen a look of pure hatred before. Somehow I knew the fight for Woods, the fight that didn’t even need to be a fight, wasn’t over.


	10. Chapter 10

It’s extremely difficult to tell time without a watch. It’s hard to even guess at how much time was passing. By the time we stopped to eat a quick lunch the sun still wasn’t overhead. The aching of my feet and rumbling of my stomach only reminded me that we had more monotonous walking to look forward to. Months of it.

Those hours filled with nothing but walking and sporadic talking were more boring than anything I’d experienced before. How did people have fun before computers and smartphones and the Internet? I paid enough attention in history to know that the television was less than a century old. I know Bubbe and Dedko listened to the radio as children but radios weren’t all that much older than TVs. So what did they do before that?

In school we were taught about the farmers who had to travel for days to get to a market to sell their goods. I couldn’t imagine spending hour after hour on a cart filled with animals or vegetables or whatever with nothing to do. And I definitely couldn't imagine being a soldier in the ancient world who had to walk for days or weeks or months to set up camp and launch a battle. Why would you want to have a battle after walking halfway across the known world?

“How did they do it?” I spoke aloud but not to anyone in particular.

“How did who do what?” Luke asked.

“How did our grandparent’s grandparents have fun?” As a unit we stopped walking. I glanced around at my friends, and Costia, before continuing. “Before phones, computers, TVs, radios, and all that. How did kids have fun?”

Apparently no one knew the answer. I suddenly realized how true all the grumbling my parents and grandparents did about my generation really was. We’d been raised to be entertained and engaged all day everyday. We were a walking talking network of memes and viral videos. As I stood on that dirt path and thought back over my few short teenage years, I couldn’t remember a single time I’d gone out with friends when no one had a phone in front of their face or laying on the table in front of them even as they were talking to me about something.

That was the moment I fully understood why my parents wouldn’t let me or my sisters or brother have cell phones attached to our hands like most of my classmates did. They’d forced me to unplug enough that I could function a bit without electrical stimulation. That was perhaps the first time I’d wished they had done the same with my computer and PlayStation.

Ophelia broke through my thoughts. “They talked to each other I suppose.”

“About what?” Raven replied. I think the electricity going out was hardest on her. She was a technology geek through and through.

“Books, music, plays, art.” Ophelia closed her eyes and leaned her head back. “They gossiped too. They talked.”

“So who wants to talk about books?” Lexa rubbed her hands together. She smiled as she turned to Costia, “Want to talk about _Twilight_?”

“I love _Twilight_!” Costia giggled and playfully slapped her arm.

I rolled my eyes as the two of them started walking again, side-by-side. Soon it seemed as if everyone had paired off. Octavia was pushing Ophelia’s wheelchair and talking quietly with Luke. Harper was trailing behind Costia and Lexa, offering quiet opinions every few steps.

“Vampires are so archaically passé.” Raven nudged me with her elbow. “Wouldn’t an in-depth analysis of dystopian novels be better suited for our current situation?”

“What would Katniss do?” I laughed and hooked my arm through hers. “I should have paid more attention during all those archery lessons Dad tried to give me.”

By the time the sun was directly overhead we were all laughing and sharing stories about reading the more scandalous parts of our mother’s romance novels. I laughed until there were tears in my eyes when Octavia turned five shades of red as she confessed a secret love for romance novels set in the Scottish highlands.

Luke wiped a hand over his eyes and chuckled, “Where do you even find these books?”

“They’re hers.” Octavia waved a hand at the sleeping Ophelia.

“She’s going to kill you when she finds out you told everyone about those books.” I warned her.

She shrugged her shoulders. “I’m sure she’ll have some academic excuse for reading them.”

Like the day before, we didn’t have much to eat other than protein bars, we’d eaten the sandwiches Marta gave us for breakfast. Someone found a half melted chocolate bar in their pack so we all got a bite or two of that too.

“We have to find some food. Cans of stuff. Like soup or pasta. Actual food.” I said as I stared down the path. I hadn’t wanted to change the subject when we were all having a good time but it needed to be said.

“Let’s find the nearest convenience store then.” Costia replied before she giggled. Sarcastic Costia was my least favorite Costia. She didn’t seem to understand the time and the place needed for sarcasm to be humorous.

“I think Clarke’s right.” Luke said. “We can’t eat these protein bars and expect to be okay. We need actual food.”

“Make sure you find me some vitamins too.” Costia quipped. She laughed a little louder and nudged Lexa like she’d told a joke. Lexa didn’t seem to get it. She nodded and kept walking.

The little trio was quietly talking in front of the rest of us again. Raven had taken over Ophelia’s chair, Octavia meandered next to them as she and Raven discussed some video game. Even Ophelia offered her own tidbits about the game, coughing after every third or fourth word. Octavia was reading a book about guns I’d found in the man’s truck while she walked. Luke kept pace with me.

“I think tomorrow morning we should maybe look around to see what kind of supplies we can find.” He spoke softly. “It’s only the second day of this trip and I’m already bored with those nasty protein bars.”

“We can look while we walk.” I replied.

He moved closer and pulled at my hand so it was resting in the crook of his arm. “You and I both know we aren’t going to see anything from this path. A couple of us will have to do some… I don’t know, scouting or something.”

“Separating is going to be dangerous.” I eyed Costia. I had no doubt she’d try to take off if she saw an opportunity to convince Lexa to leave the rest of us.

“Not having food is deadly.”

Luke and I planned a scouting expedition for the next morning. I was more than willing to give up a day or two of walking if it meant we could find supplies that would sustain us. Saying words like ‘scouting party’ and ‘surveillance’ with Luke felt ridiculous. Even though I knew we were in a dangerous situation I couldn’t help but laugh at the terminology we had already started to use. They were words we had only ever heard in movies or in video games. An almost eighteen-year-old girl saying them in an almost completely serious conversation sounded ridiculous, even to that girl.

As the sun approached the horizon we started looking for a place to set up camp. Luke took me by the hand again and led me off the path. This time, we went toward the river that the path ran along side. There was a clear area along the bank we decided would work as a rest area for the others while we looked around to see if we could get lucky and find another house for the night.

We walked around the woods searching for shelter without much luck. Eventually we had to give up and head back to the group. Without speaking, we started getting everything set up for the night. Luke and Lexa set up the tents while Octavia used a lighter to get a fire going. Raven lifted Ophelia out of the wheelchair and placed her gently on a sleeping bag spread over the ground. I gathered as much firewood as I could find while Ophelia coughed instructions from her cocoon the whole time. Small sticks for tinder, the size of a pencil lead, bigger sticks for kindling, the size of my thumb, and logs for fuel, as big as my wrist. She even coughed through instructions on actually building the fire.

Like the night before we didn’t talk much. We sat around the fire, chewing on protein bars for a little while. I helped Octavia maneuver Ophelia into her tent before I crawled into my own. It was pretty dark so I’d like to think my mini freak out at feeling hair on my pillow was justified.

“Clarke?” Harper whispered quietly. “You’re on my hair.”

“You’re in my tent.” I pressed a hand over my heart, willing it to slow down to a semi-normal pace, as I moved so I was sitting on my knees next to her.

“I know. Costia wanted me to get lost for the night. I didn’t think you would mind.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that. Finally I settled on the easiest question, “Why did you need to get lost?”

“Lexa was cold.” She said.

Woods. I should have known. Of course she’d suddenly get cold in fifty-degree weather. She and Costia had been pretty friendly all day. That was odd too, since she usually moved away from her when she approached her.

When I didn’t reply she added, “I brought my own sleeping bag if that helps.”

“So you chose my tent?”

“Well I couldn’t sleep with Luke.” I couldn’t see her well but her voice told me even the idea of sharing a tent with a guy horrified her. “And Octavia and Raven have already bunked up.”

I suddenly felt too tired to argue so I sighed, “Fine. It’s fine. Welcome to casa de Clarke. Go to sleep.”

****

The next morning came too quickly. Harper had become a ninja as soon as she fell asleep so I spent most of the night getting jostled and punched and kicked. The last straw was when she elbowed me in the kidney.

I crawled out of the tent as the sun was peeking over the horizon. Luke was the only other one awake. I sat next to him and watched the sun come up over the trees. We talked about books we liked and movies we’d seen dozens of times. It was nice. It felt almost normal.

“Did you sleep at all?” I asked after he yawned for the fourth or fifth time.

“Yeah. I only took over watch from Lexa a little while before you came out here.”

“So she was able to wrench herself away from Costia after all.” I muttered.

“What?”

“Where is she? Did she go back to bed?”

Luke nodded. “She crawled into my tent.”

As if she knew we were whispering about her, Lexa popped her head out of the opening of the tent to my right. “Why didn’t any of us think to grab a cooler and some bacon? I want bacon.”

I laughed and tried to smooth down her hair where it had come free from one of her braids. “You went on the shopping trip Woods. You only have yourself to blame.”

“Not true. Octavia was with me. And I mentioned bacon. She said no because you and Raven wouldn’t touch it.” Lexa swatted my hands away and walked to the river and splashed water on her face and hair.

Slowly the others started waking up and moving around camp. Luke and I went over our plan to go and look for more food with the others.

“So the two of you are going to look for food?” Harper asked.

“Yes.” I replied.

“No.” Octavia spoke at the same time. “I think you should stay back from this one Griff.”

“Why? I’m one of the only people in this group that actually knows how to shoot a gun.”

“I think it’d make more sense for you and Raven to stay back to protect Ophelia, Harper and Costia.” Lexa said.

My jaw dropped. “Seriously?”

Luke put a hand on my shoulder. “Clarke, the fact is we don’t know what we’re going to find out there. At least here we know you’re secluded and protected.”

“Guns mean protection more than you do.”

“And I’d feel a lot better knowing you and the others are here and safe.” Luke replied. “Lexa and Octavia probably feel the same.”

They all nodded. I was easily outvoted. I threw my hands into the air and rolled my eyes as I said, “It makes complete sense to leave the two people who know how to handle guns behind while you three go out and play soldier.”

“I’m sorry Griff, but Luke’s right.” Octavia pressed a quick kiss to my cheek. “I’ll feel better knowing you’re safe. And that you’re watching over Ophelia.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hurry up and go so you can get back.” I held up my pinky, forcing Octavia to promise her quick return.

Octavia, Lexa and Luke walked back up the riverbank and over the path into the woods.

“This should be fun.” Raven smiled too widely. “Right?”

Of course she couldn’t have been more wrong. Costia sat around and complained. First she complained about being cold. She didn’t like my offer to hand her some of the cinders from the fire, mostly because she didn’t know what a cinder was. I heard her ask Harper what I’d meant. After Harper’s whispered response Costia glared at me. A few minutes later she was too hot. She didn’t seem overly impressed with my offer to toss her in the river either. After calming Costia down and reassuring her I wouldn’t actually throw her in the river Harper pulled a book out of her pack and started to read. She didn’t say more than a dozen words for the rest of the morning.

Of course Ophelia stayed in her tent all day. She had these coughing bouts that made my ribs ache in sympathy. Raven and I took turns checking on her. The flu medicine seemed to ease the coughing and nausea some, but not by much.

I asked her how she was feeling around midday. She didn’t open her eyes but she did smile. “I feel like death.”

“You look like death.”

She huffed out a small laugh. “Thanks. I was wondering.”

I helped her drink some water before zipping up her sleeping bag again. As I turned to leave I saw blood on her makeshift pillow. I leaned over her slowly and realized she’d started bleeding from her ear.

She must have felt me leaning over her because she opened her eyes. “I know. Octavia hasn’t noticed yet.”

I could only nod. “Our secret then? For now?”

When I crawled out of the tent Harper and Costia were standing on the edge of the river with their heads close together.

“What’s going on?” I called down to them.

“Nothing.” Costia snapped.

I watched them for a while before approaching Raven. “What’re they up to?”

Raven glanced up from drawing in the dirt. “Don’t know. I started counting when they walked down there. I wanted to see how long they’d stay that close to actual running water with dirt and germs in it. I’m up to six hundred thirty-four.”

“Have you managed to hear anything they’ve said?” Harper put a hand on Costia’s arm and shook her head. Costia immediately slapped the hand away and whispered even more harshly.

“Nothing much.” Raven replied. “Other than the word ‘gun’ once or twice.”

“Oh. Well I’m sure they’ve got a well thought out plan.”

No sooner had the words left my mouth than Costia was walking toward me. She stopped a couple of feet away from me and put her hands on her hips.

“We need to leave.” She ordered.

“No.” I could only sigh. Six hundred and thirty-four to come up with that? They couldn’t even try to negotiate first?

“We have to keep going. Isn’t that what you kept saying yesterday?”

I pointed to the woods. “Our friends are out there looking for supplies for all of us. You think we should take all of these supplies and leave them behind?”

“They know the route we’re planning on taking. They’ll catch up eventually.”

“No.” I said again.

“You aren’t my boss Clarke, you’re not my mother, and you’re definitely not my friend.” Costia moved closer to me. “You can’t make me stay here.”

I barely kept myself from rolling my eyes. Instead I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. “I’ll tell you the same thing I told you at the hotel. You’re more than welcome to take your share of the supplies and go on by yourself. The rest of us are waiting for the guys to get back.”

“Harper and I are leaving now.”

“If that’s what Harper wants to do, then feel free to pack up your stuff and go.”

Costia crossed her arms over her chest. “We want one of the guns.”

“Not happening.” Raven replied without looking up from her doodles in the dirt.

“They aren’t your guns.” She growled back.

“You had your chance to grab a gun. You chose those knives instead.” I held up a hand to stop whatever Raven’s retort was going to be. I bent down and picked up my AR-15 from where Raven had it leaning up against the log she was sitting on. “But, of course, I should make sure I’m being fair. If you can take this gun from me, you can have it. But you’re not going to get more than your share of food, water, or ammunition.”

I swear I could see smoke coming from Costia’s ears. She was thinking so hard on how to get me to hand over a gun. I’m sure she wanted way more than her share of the supplies too. All she had to do was get me to hand over everything she wanted. She had to know that wasn’t going to happen.

After waiting a minute or two I pulled the harness over my shoulder and positioned the gun so I was comfortable. With a smile I said, “That’s what I thought.”

By late afternoon I was starting to worry about the others. I thought this trip for supplies was going to be fast. They had been gone for hours. I stood on the path, scanning the tree line until it was too dark to see anymore. I’d have been there all night if Raven hadn’t convinced me to sit by the fire for while to fight off the unseasonably cold air.

Raven and I took turns keeping watch all night. I think I jumped at every noise that sounded like rustling leaves or twigs snapping. I had to hide the fire twice when I heard groups of people on the path above us. If Luke and Octavia didn’t think we should trust people, their obvious reason for leaving me behind, then I wouldn’t either.

As soon as the sun came up and Raven was awake enough to keep an eye on everything in camp, I was back up on the path. I walked into the woods about ten yards and sat down. When the sun hit its highest point I headed back to camp for something to eat.

My foot hit the path an instant before I heard a twig snap behind me. I bounded onto the path and pointed my rifle in the general direction of sound. Holding my breath I was barely able to make out the sounds of a conversation. Finally, Octavia, Luke and Lexa came into view. Each of them had a bulging pack strapped to their backs. The packs looked stuffed full.

Somehow I was able to force myself to wait on the path for them. When they reached me, I jumped on Octavia and wrapped her in a hug.

“Everything alright? Is Ophelia okay?” She rocked me one way then the other for a second or two before looking around me toward camp.

“Everyone is fine. Even Costia.”

“Then why the squeezing?”

“You were gone for a day and a half! I didn’t know if you were coming back at all!” I stepped back and punched her on her shoulder. “You promised you’d hurry. A day and a half isn’t hurrying!”

Octavia offered me a grin before she started walking down the riverbank. “Nice of you to worry Griff.”

“Did you worry about me?” Luke asked.

“I worried about all of you.” I replied. I reached up to hug him too.

They had no right to be so relaxed and happy after being gone so long. Hadn’t they worried about us at all?

“Your concern is touching Griffin.” Lexa laughed. She jogged down the riverbank. I could hear her calling out for Costia.

Luke wrapped an arm around my shoulder and walked with me toward camp. “We found an abandoned neighborhood. By the time we finished searching the first few houses it was close to dark. Octavia didn’t want to go into the woods in the dark so we crashed in one of the houses.”

“Don’t try to logic yourself out of this. Weren’t you guys worried about us?” I shook my finger at him.

“Of course we were. But getting lost in the woods wouldn’t have helped any of us.” Luke pressed a kiss to the side of my head before he led me to the fire. He pulled off his pack and set it on the ground in front of him.

I watched as the guys unpacked all sorts of canned foods and boxes of things. It was an impressive amount of food. Between the seven healthy people we’d probably barely be able to carry it all but it looked as though we had enough food for a week or two at least if we rationed everything carefully.

That night was a feast of canned pasta and fruit. Harper and I didn’t speak at all when we crawled into my tent. We were both asleep within minutes.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and the gang are lucky enough to stumble upon some cabins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I guess this is where I tell you there's a trigger warning for this chapter. There's a character death. I've been told it's really sad by a few friends who have read the original story. I'm not an overly emotional person so I never thought I'd be able to write something that could make anyone cry...
> 
> Let me know what you think!

The next morning Octavia was yelling my name when I woke up. I must have been exhausted because I had not only missed the sunrise but I could tell the sun was already well above the treetops.

“Let’s go Griff. You’re going to have to eat while we walk.” She said.

I sat up and stretched. Patting the ground beside me I realized Harper’s sleeping bag was already gone. That was why I’d been sleeping so soundly. Ninja Harper had made an appearance about halfway through the night so I guessed that I’d welcomed sleep as soon as she left the tent. I could hear the others moving around the camp, Lexa and Raven talking quietly to each other. I really had overslept. Life without alarms was not as easy as I’d always imagined.

I ran my fingers through my hair, making a mental note to find a brush soon, before digging through my pack to find some pre-warp to make a headband. Rolling up my sleeping bag I started humming a song Bubbe used to sing to me. Crawling out of the tent I was smiling at the memory of Bubbe dancing around her kitchen while making one of my favorite meals.

“Happy birthday!”

I screamed and fell back into my tent and covered my face with my arms. When I lowered them to look at my friends, they were standing around the fire pit, laughing loudly at their great feat of scaring the ever-loving crap out of me. Raven was the closest to me, bent over with a hand on her knee she held out a cupcake with semi-melted chocolate frosting out in front of her with her other hand. Octavia and Luke were holding presents that had obviously been wrapped by amateurs. As I approached everyone wished me a happy birthday again, everyone except Costia of course. She smiled and walked away to sit on a nearby log. Lexa was quick to join her.

Refusing to let Costia ruin my surprise party, I smiled up at Raven as I took the cupcake. “I forgot it was my birthday!”

“Who forgets their own birthday? Especially their eighteenth birthday?” Raven laughed. Then she held up a finger, “unless that person has suddenly found herself in the middle of an apocalyptic situation and she’s trying to find her way home with a bunch of other teenagers. It would make sense then.”

“I think that’s it.” I laughed. "I doubt there's going to be an election any time soon, so turning eighteen has sort of lost its appeal."

“I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t forget.” Octavia said, handing me her gift.

I took the gift and tucked it under my arm. I took a bite of the cupcake and insisted everyone else take a bite too. Ophelia got the last bite. She looked nauseous immediately after nibbling on the chocolaty goodness. She gagged and threw the rest of the cupcake into the river.

“Poor Phy.” I offered her a drink of water but she wouldn’t take it.

Raven pouted and watched the cupcake float away, “poor cupcake.”

Octavia took Ophelia’s chair down toward the river, giving her a little time to recover her stomach.

I sat by the fire and opened Octavia’s gift. Inside I found a few notebooks and a package of blue pens, becuase blue pens were the only ind of pen worht using. When I opened the top notebook there was a roughly drawn calendar. March seventeenth, my birthday, was decorated with little candles. March thirteenth, the day Ophelia had gotten sick and the power disappeared was decorated with a skull and crossbones. Apparently they’d had fun decorating the calendar.

Luke sat on the log next to me. He smiled shyly as he handed me a small box. “This was the real reason we were gone for so long. Octavia mentioned your birthday was today and… well, no one should miss out on opening gifts.”

I smiled and leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek. I shocked myself by my open display of affection so I immediately turned away and opened the small box to find a pouch. I carefully untied the pouch and upended it over my hand. A pendant fell into my hand. It was a tree of sorts, the branches turned into the roots and the roots into branches.

“It’s beautiful.” I beamed. “But what is it?”

“You non-Irish folk are ridiculous. And your birthday is St. Paddy’s Day!” Luke laughed and nudged me with his elbow. “It’s a Tree of Life. Depending on who you ask it’s supposed to be a symbol of wisdom and strength or of balance and justice. Circle of life and all that.”

I studied the charm carefully. “That’s so thoughtful Luke. Thank you.”

He hugged me and replied, “I noticed you wearing a necklace the other day. Since it’s always inside your shirt I figured it was a plain necklace. I thought you might want something to put on it. No one should wear an empty necklace.”

Luke stood. After hesitating for a second or two he leaned down and tipped my face up to look at him. He smiled shyly and pressed a kiss to my forehead. With another smile, this one with more confidence behind it, he sauntered down the bank to stand by Octavia. I studied the charm again before carefully putting it back in its pouch and sliding it into my pocket. I appreciated the thought behind it, but the charms on my necklace meant more to me than what they stood for to the outside world. Adding a charm for the sake of it felt wrong.

I turned back to my tent and began taking it down. Harper startled me when she appeared next to me and took the poles from my hand. I folded and rolled the tent and somehow we managed to fit everything back into the bag on the first attempt. I sat by the fire and watched as my friends took down their tents and gathered their meager belongings. Almost as soon as I sat down Raven tossed me a toaster pastry she’d held over the fire. It wasn’t as good as it would have been out of a toaster but it was hot and gooey and that was all I could ask for. While I ate I watched everyone else moving around the campsite.

I was completely content until my eyes fell on Lexa and Costia. She stood on her toes and pressed a kiss to her lips. At first she didn’t kiss her back, she balled up her fist at her side but after a few seconds, she wrapped an arm around her waist and returned the kiss.

Suddenly done with my breakfast, I tossed the rest in the river and helped Raven finish packing up. Soon we were back on the trail.

****

Luke walked with me again that day. He’d drape an arm across my shoulders at times, or hook my arm through his at others but mostly he’d hold my hand. Every once in a while he’d lean over and kiss my cheek or my forehead.

I didn’t know what to make of the sudden change in his attitude toward me. A week ago he only knew me in passing as Octavia’s best friend, like the rest of the school, and hardly ever acknowledged my existence. Now he was giving me charms for my birthday and holding my hand and kissing my cheek.

I chose to look beyond the odd change in behavior. After all, even if he was acting completely differently toward me, he was company. And he was good company. He was funny and he liked the same music, movies, and books.

I spent the last half of the day struggling to push Ophelia’s wheelchair while Luke kept pace. He offered several times to push the chair for me. I refused each time but honestly I didn’t know how the guys made pushing the chair look so easy. The tiny front wheels caught on every rock and crevice while the back wheels seemed to sink into the dirt as if the path was made of quicksand.

“Sorry I’m so heavy Clarke.” Ophelia said. I didn’t know if she was trying to whisper or if her voice was that weak from all the coughing.

“You’re fine Phy. I’m just not used to pushing a wheelchair.”

“You could always let Luke push.”

Luke reached over to take the handles from me. I shook my head. “I’m okay. I can push for a while longer.”

And so I pushed and shoved her chair down the path. Finally, when I thought I’d pass out from the heat and the exertion of moving Ophelia and her wheelchair down the path, Lexa and Raven went off to find a place to camp for the night so we stopped walking. It was at that moment, as we all settled into lounging positions on trail to wait, I truly felt like we were never going to make it home. It was too far and we were moving so slowly. Barely half a week into the trip and I was already mentally done with it. If only Ophelia would get better so we could ditch the wheelchair.

As if she knew I’d been thinking about her, Ophelia started coughing. The cough sounded even more excruciating than it had the day before. She pulled her hand away from her mouth and wiped it on her thigh. The blanket covering her lap was stained from the blood.

Harper handed Ophelia a bottle of water and made her take a couple of sips. Costia pulled Harper away before I could thank her. As she was dragged away Harper spoke over her shoulder, “I know it makes you feel sick. That’s your body tricking you. If you don’t drink, you’ll lose what strength you have left.”

After taking a sip Ophelia handed me the water and whispered, “no more. Please.”

Eventually Lexa and Raven came back. When we stood to start moving again, Luke gracefully moved between the wheelchair and me, taking over without saying a word. They led us through the woods to a group of small cabins. At one end of the deserted campground there were several cabins clustered together, we decided to pair up so we’d have our own space for the night.

Raven and I took one of the cabins for ourselves and tossed our gear in before going to help get Ophelia settled in for the night. After ensuring she was comfortable, I went to the next cabin to make sure whoever was in there had everything they needed. Unfortunately Costia answered the door when I knocked.

“What do you want?”

“I just wanted to make sure everyone is okay for the night.” I held up my hands. “Do you have a fire going in case it gets cold?”

“Lexa is taking care of that. I doubt I’ll be cold.” She gestured to the fireplace where Lexa was piling kindling. “We’re good. See you later.”

She started to close the door but stopped when Lexa stood and said, “Actually, the fire is all set. You and Harper should be good for the night.”

“But Lexa,” She whined. “I thought you were staying with me. In a real bed.”

Lexa rubbed the back of her neck. “I’m exhausted Costia. Luke is getting our cabin ready. I should go and see if he needs any help.”

“Lexa M. Woods!”

“I need to go see if he’s got everything set up Costia. See you in the morning.” She stopped walking long enough to give her a quick kiss.

As soon as the door to her cabin closed Costia hissed, “Are you happy now?”

“I wouldn’t say I’m happy.” I shrugged. “What do I have to be happy about? I’d love a long hot shower, that’d make me happy. Or some of my great-grandmother’s chicken soup with matzah balls. Or rugelach! And it is my birthday so I guess I’m happy about that.”

“You’re dumb.” Costia rolled her eyes. “Go away.”

“For once your wish is actually my command. See you in the morning.”

“Whatever.” She slammed the door.

****

The next morning came too quickly. I think if one of us had suggested we stay for a day or two so we could rest up, everyone would have eagerly agreed. The cabins were warm and the beds were soft. All of us were probably wondering when we’d next be able to sleep indoors. We knew we couldn’t count on finding more cabins in the woods.

Still, we were awake around sunrise, the east facing windows with no shades made sure of that. We ate, packed up and once again started walking.

We were approaching the last of the cabins when Raven clapped and yelled, “Awesome!”

We watched her jog toward a small shed behind one of the cabins. I turned to the group and said, “Does anyone know what she’s so happy about?”

“She’s your cousin.” Octavia shrugged. “If anyone should understand her level of weirdness it should be you.”

“Is she grabbing that?” Luke pointed at a mountain bike hanging from a couple of hooks.

We watched as Raven did indeed grab the bike and wheeled it over to us. Then she ran back into the shed and came out with a push mower. She returned to the shed for a third time, this time she emerged with a toolbox.

Costia sighed. “What are you doing?”

“Octavia, take Ophelia back to the cabin. I need her chair.” Raven smirked and twirled a ratchet around her fingers.

Lexa laughed. “You’re going to trick out her chair?”

“I can’t be the only one who noticed it’s ridiculously hard to push that thing down the trail. It’s been two days and my arms feel like cement. No offense Ophelia!” She added quickly when Ophelia opened her eyes enough to glare at her. “The wheels on the bike and the mower are meant for rougher terrain. I’m hoping I can somehow get them to fit the chair so we don’t have to kill ourselves pushing her. No offense Ophelia! Eventually we’re going to be in the mountains. Anyone want to push that chair up a mountain with those wheels?” We all shook our heads. “Right. So this is probably going to take all day. Everyone should settle into the cabins again. We may need to stay again tonight.”

I took my pack and Raven’s back to our cabin.

Octavia stopped me when I walked back outside to go see if I could help with the chair. She motioned toward the rifle propped against the wall inside the door. “I think you ought to grab that.”

“Why?”

“Lexa just came back from checking the trail. There’s a group of four or five men walking toward the cabins.” Octavia whispered. “Get Costia and Harper into my cabin and don’t come out until one of us comes to get you.”

I looked over her shoulder. I could barely make out the silhouettes of people moving toward us. I didn’t like that my best friend and cousin were going to put themselves in danger to protect me. I knew that being near Ophelia was better for me, since I was the best shot in our group and she was our weakest member. Octavia hugged me tightly before shoving me toward Costia and Harper’s cabin. I exchanged a worried look with Luke as he marched by with Lexa’s rifle.

Costia answered when I pounded on the door. “What?”

“You need to come with me. Now.” I spoke quietly so I wouldn’t draw attention.

“I don’t have to go anywhere with you. I’m going to lie down for a nap.” Costia snapped back. “Harper is going to do my hair for me when I wake up. We’re busy.”

She started closing the door so I grabbed her wrist and squeezed. “Costia, there are men walking toward the cabins. Right now they don’t know that there are four more teenage girls here. They’ve only seen me from a distance so they may not even realize there’s one. We’re probably better off with them not knowing. This is something we’ll let the others handle.”

“I thought you could take care of yourself. Aren’t you secretly a super warrior?” She arched a brow and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Now is not the time for one of your stunted attempts to mock me.” I hadn’t realized until that moment that I was able to speak through clenched teeth. I’d thought that was something you’d read in books and imagine trying to do but never really did. “You two need to come with me. Now.”

“I think Harper and I can take care of ourselves. But thanks for the heads up.”

I took a deep breath and counted to five. After letting it out slowly I counted again before I said, “Costia if you want to stay here, that’s fine. Harper, if you want to come with me, let’s go. If we wait much longer those men will be able to see us.”

Harper, who up to that point had been turning her head back and forth to follow my discussion with Costia, walked passed her friend quickly. When Costia protested, Harper shushed her and grabbed her hand. It was the first time I’d ever seen Harper go against Costia. Together Harper and I managed to drag Costia to Octavia’s cabin. We closed the door and locked it. I brought a chair over and jammed it underneath the doorknob like I’d seen in movies. I hoped it actually worked. Then we had nothing to do but wait. The other cabins blocked our view of where the men would have met our guys so we couldn’t even watch to see what was happening.

So we waited. And waited. It felt like we waited days instead of what must have only been hours. Costia took her nap while Harper read in the corner. Then Costia sat on the floor in front of Harper who immediately started brushing her hair and slowly braided it into hundreds of little braids. I walked around the cabin trying to move the curtains as little as possible to see out the windows. Ophelia slept and coughed. Every time I checked on her, she tried to hide the blood slowly leaking from her ears and nose. I pretended like I didn’t notice.

Finally, near sundown, Lexa knocked on the door. “You guys can come out now.”

After yanking the chair away I opened the door slowly, making sure she was alone. “Everything okay?”

“It’s fine.” Lexa shrugged.

Costia pushed by me and wrapped Lexa in a hug. “I’m glad you’re okay Lexa.”

“You should have made sure the situation was secure before you opened the door Griffin. What if one of them had a gun on me or something?” Lexa said as she and Costia started walking away.

I gritted my teeth and counted to five before responding. “I’ll keep that in mind for next time Woods. For future reference though, should I let the strange men in or should I let them shoot you?”

She didn’t react to my taunt, instead choosing to drape an arm around Costia’s shoulders and pull her closer to her side. I followed them as they walked to where Raven and Octavia were standing with Ophelia’s wheelchair. They’d managed to get the wheels all switched out. It looked like an off-roading wheelchair now.

“You did it!” I gave Raven a high five.

“Those guys did actually.” Raven replied. “Turns out they saw our tracks on the trail and wanted to see who was dumb enough to drag a sick person here. One of them was a welder or something. He thought what we were doing was so amazing that he made new bracket things for the front wheels.”

“It works pretty well. We pushed Lexa around in it for a while to make sure.” Octavia added.

I studied the wheels. “This should make it a little easier for us then. Maybe we can move a little faster now.”

“I sure hope so.” Costia replied. “I’d like to get home before I’m twenty.”

“You can complain when you actually take a turn pushing the chair Costia. You’re the only one who hasn’t.” Octavia snapped.

“She’s not my sister or my friend.”

I stepped between Octavia and Costia. As much as I didn’t like Costia, I knew Lexa would probably get involved if she said something downright stupid and Octavia got upset. And if Lexa got involved so would Luke. That situation would have me in an awkward spot. “Let’s all calm down. The sun is setting which means we’re here for another night. How about we get some dinner together and enjoy the small victory for a little while before bed?”

Lexa took Costia’s elbow and moved her toward her cabin. She pinched the bridge of her nose between two fingers. Even as they walked away i could hear her saying, “You’ll have to help eventually Costia. This isn’t a vacation. It’s not all about you.”

Costia's only response was to look up at her through her eyelashes and pout her lips. Lexa sighed and shook her head before running her hand down the other girl's arm to take her hand.

“I’m going to throw her in the river.” Octavia announced after Lexa closed the door. “Probably not tomorrow. But it’s going to happen.”

“No you won’t. She’d find a way to get back at you. And we all know she’d make sure her revenge would be way worse than a toss in the river.” Raven replied thoughtfully. “Forget about her. Let’s go show Ophelia her new ride!”

The three of us walked back toward the cabins. Harper came running out of Octavia and Ophelia’s cabin as we rounded the corner. She was yelling something at us but it wasn’t until the third yell that we could make it out. “Octavia! Clarke! Come quick! Something’s wrong!”

Octavia took off. She was moving so fast she had to grab the door frame to keep from running right by the cabin. I was right behind her. I grabbed her by the back of her shirt when she started to fall and yanked her upright.

“Ophelia!” She yelled. She was through the door to her bedroom faster than I’d ever seen her move.

She was still lying in the middle of the bed. At first it seemed as if she was sleeping. After a couple of steps into the room I realized she was watching me with eyes that were barely open. I could hear her labored breathing from several feet away.

“How’s it going Phy?” I stopped at the foot of the bed.

“Been better.” She spoke one word at a time, with a ragged breath between them.

Octavia dropped to her knees beside the bed. She grabbed her hand between both of hers and started to pray.

I hadn’t been lying, back in Washington D.C., when I’d told Lexa I wasn’t religious. In truth, I’d never been an overly religious person, not even when I had gone to Mass every week with my parents. I’d had what my parents had called a crisis of faith shortly after my confirmation and still hadn’t figured out who or what I believed in.

At that moment though, as I watched Octavia pray so exceptionally hard for her sister, I’d have given anything to believe as strongly as Ophelia always had so I could join Octavia on my knees and offer up prayers and promises of good faith to a higher power if it meant Ophelia would live. Instead I stood behind Octavia with my hand on her bent head and waited. Maybe I was trying to give her some of my strength. Maybe I was praying and pleading in my own way. Or maybe I was standing behind my friend waiting to offer whatever comfort I could in her hour of need.

There’s no way of knowing how long Octavia prayed over Ophelia. I found myself silently talking to Bubbe, wishing she could hear me and offer some kind of help, any help. It was dark by the time Octavia lifted her head. Her tears streaked glistened in the moonlight.

Ophelia’s breathing had lightened a little bit, like she was sleeping, but it was also growing more and more shallow. I moved my hand to Octavia’s shoulder and waited for her to look at me.

“Take a walk Octavia. I’ll sit with her.”

“I can’t leave her.” She shook her head. Then she spotted blood on Ophelia's pillow near her right ear. “She’s bleeding. Why is she bleeding?”

“It’s part of the flu. You can’t do anything for her right now. Go get some air and a bite to eat. I’ll scream if I need you.”

She jerked her shoulder away from me. “I said no!”

“Octavia?” Ophelia’s voice cracked.

“Do you need something Ophelia? Water? Something to eat?” Like the best sister in the world she was immediately on her feet and leaning over Phy to study her face. “Do you want some medicine?”

“Go away.” She smiled weakly.

“Ophelia-”

“I’ll be fine with Clarke.” She swallowed loudly. “She’s always taken care of me hasn’t she?”

After fighting with herself for a few moments, Octavia walked out of the room. Turning back before reaching the front door she ran both hands through her hair and opened her mouth to say something. Then she shook her head and moved toward the exit again. She glanced back once more before leaving the cabin and softly closing the door behind her.

Once again, I didn’t know what to do. At first, I sat next to her on the bed. Then I slid down so I was lying next to her. I didn’t know what to say. I knew there were things a person said to someone they cared about when that person was slipping away. I’d never experienced that kind of loss personally. Finally, I couldn’t stand the sound of the silence being broken by her labored breathing.

My voice refused to come out as anything other than a whisper. “Phy, you know you’ve always been like sister to me right? Even if that was the last thing I wanted. It’s what you’ve been.”

“Tears?” She turned her head and studied my face. Then she slowly lifted a hand from her chest to wipe a tear from my cheek. “That’s unexpected.”

I nodded and took her hand in mine. I squeezed it tightly, trying to give her some of my strength. “I know right?”

“You’ll take care of her for me?”

“Haven’t I always?”

“Love you Griff.”

“I really do love you too Phy.” I tucked the blanket tighter around her and kissed her clammy forehead. Her fever had gone down, but not enough for anything to change. I knew what was coming. I refused to say it, even to myself.

We fell into silence again. Later, when Octavia came back and stood at the foot of the bed I squeezed Ophelia's hand one last time and got up, making room for Octavia to sit by her and keep vigil.

Ophelia closed her eyes and took a deep breath, “everyone is so crazy for you Griff,” When I asked her if she meant Luke she coughed out a laugh. Octavia wiped away the speckles of blood that dotted her lips. Ophelia opened her eyes enough for me to know she was trying to smirk, “Yet everyone thinks I’m the naïve and socially awkward friend?”

I smiled weakly and walked to the door. Octavia must have been back for a while before she reentered the bedroom. There was a fire going and an opened can of pears on a small end table. I hadn’t heard her make a sound. I took the time to eat the pears before I left the cabin.

I opened the main door to find Lexa leaning against the wall, her silhouette illuminated by a full moon. “Woods?”

“I wanted to check on Ophelia. And you.”

“She’s not doing well.” I spoke quietly as I closed the door behind me and started walking away from the cabin. I had to get away from it all. “I think she’s given up completely. She knows she’s slowing us down. She doesn’t like knowing that.”

“It’s true though.” She agreed a little too quickly so I glared at her. She raised her hands. “I didn’t mean it like that. I mean… I don’t know. I think we should have left today. The sun would have done her good. Vitamin D right?”

“Raven wanted to upgrade the chair.”

Lexa rolled her eyes. “And that is going to do so much for her now.”

“She was trying to help.”

“We wasted the day. If we’d gone when we meant to she would have had fresh air and hours in the sun. We could have made her eat. We could have made her drink more than a few sips.”

I put a hand on her arm. “Woods, this isn’t about her being able to go on. It’s about her not wanting to go on. She’s never liked being the one who needed anyone's help. Why do you think she worked so hard at school?”

“Because she looks like a brunette Barbie?”

I glared at her. “Well Barbie doesn’t want to have to depend on a bunch of Kens and Stacies anymore.”

“So we make her see it’s okay to depend on us.”

“No. She’s made her decision. Even if she wanted to I don’t think she’d be able to come back from this. And trying to make her would only make everything worse for Octavia.”

Lexa shook her head. “She wants her sister to make it home.”

“Of course she does! Octavia’s never been without Ophelia. She’s always been there. She’s a constant in her life. Maybe the only constant.”

“We have to try Griffin. We have to try to convince her to fight.” Lexa said. I could tell she was getting frustrated. She ran both hands though her already messy hair before linking them behind her head. “She’s already survived a few days of being sick. The last news report said most people don’t survive more than two.”

“Woods-”

“No! We can’t give up on her.”

“Stop!”

I started running. I wasn’t planning on ending up anywhere specific. I needed to be away.

“Griffin?” I hadn’t made more than four strides before Lexa was next to me, keeping pace.

I didn’t say anything. I just ran. With the moon providing enough illumination to light a path I ran around the clearing then around the cabins. I didn’t care if Costia was standing in her doorway glaring at me. No doubt Lexa would have a lot of questions for me to answer later. I didn’t care if Raven was leaning against our cabin with her arms crossed over her chest while she watched me make my laps. She’d ask for an explanation later and I’d give her one once I forced myself understand what I was doing.

I ran until my legs gave out. I would have ended up face first in the grass if Lexa hadn’t caught me around the waist. She held me steady until my legs stopped shaking. As soon as she let go I lowered myself onto the grass and stretched out on my back, panting the entire time.

She stretched out next to me. She didn’t even have the decency to sound winded when she spoke. “You want to tell me what that was about?”

“I think that was me letting Ophelia go.” I replied.

“What?” She lifted herself up onto one elbows and studied me.

“She’s given up.”

Lexa shook her head. “I told you that we could convince her-”

“There is no such thing as convincing Ophelia Blake to do something she doesn’t want to do. She’s the most stubborn person I know.”

“So you’ll give up on her?” Lexa snarled and sat up. She bent her knees so her elbows could rest on them. After a minute or two she glared at me over her shoulder, “Some friend you are. Remind me to never count on you in a pinch Griffin.”

I watched her slowly get to her feet, my jaw practically on the ground. She scowled once more in my direction and started walking back to the cabins.

“Hey!” I yelled at her back. I almost couldn’t believe it when she actually stopped moving away. I scrambled to my feet and made my way to her on legs that still felt like jelly. I glared up at her, hoping that in the moonlight she could see the anger and anguish in my eyes. I jabbed a finger into her chest as I spoke, “you do not get to tell me how to handle this. You don’t get to tell me the correct way to grieve. You think I don’t want to tell her to keep fighting? That I want to leave her behind in some shallow grave in a place I’ll never be able to visit? You think I want to watch one of my oldest friends die?”

Woods raised her hands in front of her. “Griffin, I only meant that she has a chance.”

“You’re not listening Lexa! You think you can will her into keeping up the fight because you are uncomfortable with the thought of a friend dying. You don’t like knowing there’s nothing you can do, that she’s lost to us no matter what we do or say. It isn’t fair to her. She’s tired. She’s sick. She feels guilty for being sick in the first place. Being sick wasn’t easy for her when there was a way to fight it. Now all she has is medicine that does little more than calm her cough.” I sighed and shook my head. “She can’t keep food in her stomach, she can’t keep herself hydrated, she can’t move on her own which means she can’t go to the bathroom by herself, and she can’t clean herself. She’s got blood leaking out of her nose and ears, every breath and every cough forces blood into her mouth. And you think the answer to all that is to ask her to keep going?”

“It’s the only choice she has.”

“No. It’s the only choice you’re choosing to see.”

Lexa shook her head. “A person can’t choose to die!”

“It’s what she’s chosen though. She doesn’t want to fight.”

“I wouldn’t give up if I were her.”

I snorted out a laugh. “I’ll remind you of that statement if you get sick.”

“I wouldn’t give up.” Her eyes were darker than I’d ever seen them. Her mouth a hard thin line of anger etched into her face.

I raised my hands in front of me. “Woods, I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’m going to go back into that cabin so I can sit next to one of my oldest friends while she’s dying. I don’t want to do that. I’d rather do almost anything else. But Ophelia needs me and Octavia needs me. Do I wish she could find it in herself to fight and get better? Absolutely. But she won’t. Her mind is made up.”

“So convince her. She’ll listen to you.”

“No. I’ll let her go in peace now. If she fights and holds on for another few days, she’ll probably end up dying on the trail and in pain. I don’t want that for her.” I’d made it through most of the conversation without crying but I could feel the tears filling my eyes. The burning was almost overwhelming. “I can’t ask her to keep going just so I can have her around. She wants to go now so I’ll let her do that. And if she asks, I’ll let her know I’m fine with her plan. I’ll tell her that Octavia and I will be okay and I’ll tell her that we’ll get home to her parents so we can tell them how hard she fought.”

“Clarke.” Lexa caught my hand as I walked around her. “I didn’t mean that we should make her suffer. We should convince her to live.”

“Sometimes living means suffering.”

Lexa and I stood in the clearing for a minute staring at each other. Neither of us spoke. I knew she wanted to try to convince me to talk to Ophelia, to tell her she’d be fine if only she could find the strength to go on. I think Lexa knew she’d never be able to convince me and if I wasn’t convinced, I wouldn’t be able to talk Ophelia into the fight.

Finally, she let go of my hand. “You do what you think is best for her Griffin.”

I watched her walk by Raven and Costia before opening the door to the cabin she was sharing with Luke and slamming it behind her. I took a few deep breaths and walked back to Octavia’s cabin.

I took another deep breath and reached for the doorknob. Suddenly Raven was next to me, holding out a bottle of water.

She smiled sadly. “You look like you’ve been running around a field in the middle of the woods and crying.”

“Thank you.” I took the water from her. After taking a few sips I poured water over my hand and wiped my eyes and cheeks.

“You also look like you’ve been having an interesting argument with some girl.” She searched my face, looking for a clue to my mood.

“It wasn’t all that interesting to be honest. Woods was being her usual self.” I handed the water back to my cousin.

“Sure sure.” Raven nodded. She wrapped me in a hug and squeezed. “She’ll be better once she’s gone Clarke. There isn’t much we can do for her.”

Raven walked back to our cabin. Turning back to Octavia’s cabin I wiped my face again and fixed my hair before I opened the door. For the first time in my life, I was going to sit in vigil over a loved one. Nothing in my life could have prepared me for that experience.

****

We buried Ophelia in the clearing near the cabins. Lexa fashioned a cross out of some two-by-fours she found in the shed. Someone took the time to carve her name into the wood. For some reason I thought Costia had done the carving, not because I’d seen her working on it but because for some reason it made sense. The writing even looked a bit like hers. After everyone else walked away I stood silently beside Octavia while she offered one last prayer before we left her behind.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another trigger warning. There are a few deaths in this chapter. There are two sections where someone is killed. Look for ~~~~ at the beginning and end of both sections if you want to skip them.
> 
> I can't promise it won't confuse you if you do skip them but I don't think it'd be too hard to figure out what happened.

We practically marched down the trail for three days following Ophelia’s death. After the struggle of pushing the wheelchair it almost felt like we were running without it. We stopped only when it was too dark to really see anything and woke at first light. I don’t know how far we walked in those few days but it wasn’t far enough. It was never far enough to feel okay with leaving Ophelia behind.

On the fourth day we took a break from walking. We swam in the river and had a feast of canned food. I think we’d all started to give up hope that we’d actually reach home when she died. I know I did. So that day was what my mom would call a mental health day. Those are days away from thinking and feeling, a day to just be.

A week after losing Ophelia, Lexa and Costia both started getting sick. First it was a cough or two here and there, easily dismissed as dust in the throat. Then Lexa had to sprint off the trail to find a bush to lose her lunch behind. We made camp quickly after that.

The next day Octavia spent more time bent over bushes than she did in her tent. The day after that, Luke and Harper were coughing and shaking with chills. Raven and I quickly found ourselves taking care of five sick friends. We used the last of the medicine I’d taken from the man with the truck. We’d been in that camp for a week when Raven had to go on a supply run, looking for anything that could help.

We kept them all in separate tents so the germs wouldn’t be easily spread, it was the only way we could think of to stop the exchange of pathogens. With the ten or fifteen feet between each of the tents, as much space as we could manage, it was hard to make out all of the quiet muttering and groaning. It made it easier to keep everyone’s modesty that way. Raven and I would take dips in the cold water between nursing sessions. The water keeps us alert and refreshed when sleep wasn’t an option.

Lexa was by far the worst off. She was hallucinating by the second night. Raven and I took turns sitting with her. I’d sit in her tent and hold her hand, listening to her mumbling. I couldn’t make out much of what she said in her delirium but most of what I could understand made me blush. If conscious Lexa had no filter, then delirious Lexa had absolutely no qualms with saying anything that popped into her head.

I stayed mostly with Octavia and Harper, helping them eat and drink and bathe, while Raven helped Lexa, Costia, and Luke. On her third night of being sick, Lexa’s breathing slowed. Raven frantically called me into the tent and asked me to help sit her up. Lexa’s rattling breaths sounded more and more like Ophelia’s to me. At one point I swear she stopped breathing all together.

Not knowing what to do I, of course, panicked. I raised both fists and slammed them down on her chest a couple of times. Even though it didn’t seem to help, I tried again and again. After the seventh or eighth blow, Lexa coughed and gasped for air. I stared at the blood on her lip.

Her eyes flew open. “Griffin?”

“Hey Woods.”

She coughed. “I was dreaming about you.”

“Oh? What was I doing? Nagging?”

“No.” She smiled. “Do you remember that day in first grade when we got married?”

I had no clue where she was going with that thought. I couldn’t believe she remembered our playground wedding. It felt like a trap. I narrowed my eyes. “No.”

“I do.”

“I’m sure you do Woods.”

“I do!” She coughed then smiled a little. “You were wearing a Detroit Tigers t-shirt and black jeans.”

“You remember that?”

“Yes.”

“And yet the next day you married Becky Schnitki.” I said and arched a brow at her.

I couldn't tell if she was drifting back to sleep or trying to wink but the sight of one of her eye lids slowly closing made me chuckle. She gave me a little smirk, “I knew you remembered.”

“Go back to sleep Woods.”

“I’m sorry to make you a pretend widow so young Griffin.” She shifted her shoulders, like she was trying to get more comfortable in the sleeping bag on the ground.

“You said you wouldn’t give up.” I reminded her gently. “When Ophelia was dying you said you’d fight.”

She coughed and shook her head. “It’s hard too fight. Everything inside wants to give up.”

“You said you wouldn’t do this. You said you’d fight.” I lifted her head to stuff one of her hoodies under her pillow, elevating her head more. “I’m waiting to see the fight.”

“Too hard.” She sighed and closed her eyes.

I shoved her head softly. “No. I won’t let you quit. You said you’d fight. So do it. Fight Lexa.”

She opened one eye and smirked again. “Now you’re nagging.”

****

Slowly, by some miracle, they all recovered. It was almost two weeks of constant nursing for Raven and me. I’m not sure how much sleep either of us actually got during those long torturous weeks. Somehow, they all pulled through. None of them ever came close to becoming as ill as Ophelia had been once Lexa started fighting. Neither Raven nor I ever even got a fever. We hoped that meant the Angolan Flu was finished with us.

When Octavia and Luke were recovered enough to stand watch, Raven went on another supply run. She came back with a backpack full of food and water but not much else. She couldn’t find any medicine in any of the houses she’d searched.

When we finally started walking again, a few days after everyone felt almost as good as new, the time went by slower than ever. There was laughing and talking to fill most of the day but eventually we always ran out of things to talk about. Ophelia wasn’t there to offer up some random factoid to jump-start the conversation.

****

It didn’t take long before a real day of scavenging was needed. Raven and I had done the best we could while everyone else was sick but those seemingly endless days were more than enough to deplete our supplies. With the others still pretty weak from being sick, I was finally able to convince them to let me go out and look for the things we needed.

Somehow I got roped into spending the day alone with Costia. How anyone thought that was a good idea was beyond my understanding. The only response to my demands to know who had come up with the brilliant plan was a high five from Raven and hug from Octavia.

I counted my blessings that I’d convinced her the day before to not talk to me. She’d been prattling on and on about needing lotion and I could not take it anymore. The world was ending and she was concerned about her daily moisturizing plans. I let her know that I couldn’t care less but that a dip or two in the river would help with her dermal moisture; I even offered to help her into the river. Of course, she took that as a threat, but it also convinced her to stop talking.

Luckily we found a secluded subdivision, twelve houses on a small cul-de-sac not too far from the trail. Even without talking it was easy to tell Costia was excited to see real houses again. I was too. It seemed like years since we’d walked on pavement and actual structures. The sight I hadn’t been expecting was the dead all over the places. The others had warned me I’d see more than my fair share of dead bodies, but having the knowledge and seeing the truth isn’t the same thing. Costia and I hadn’t been around civilization in weeks and with Ophelia gone and everyone else recovering from their illness, it was easy for us to forget about the Angolan Flu. I actively tried to avoid thinking about people getting sick and dying. The sights and smells of that subdivision were a shock.

Making sure to give the dead plenty of space, Costia and I made quick work of the first few houses. We found a dozen or so cans of food and a half empty case of bottled water. Costia managed to find a canvas messenger bag to stuff those in.

Our first argument came about when she wanted to raid the closet of some poor girl who was probably dead. I hated the idea of someone going through my closet so I couldn’t let Costia do that to someone else.

When I objected, Costia only rolled her eyes. She studied her reflection in a mirror and turned this way and then that way while she held up a baby blue cardigan to her chest. She caught my look of disgust and turned to me with a smirk stretching her lips, “This girl is probably dead Clarke. If we don’t take this stuff then someone else will.”

“I don’t care Costia. I’ve got plenty of clothes. We all do. We don’t need those.”

“Not everything is about need. You’re allowed to want things too.”

“Put it back so we can go. We still have seven houses left to search.”

Of course she didn’t put it back. She shoved it into her new bag along with a couple of tank tops and some socks. At least part of her greed was practical, we all needed new socks. Once her loot was stored she tilted back her head and marched from the room, staring down her nose at me the entire time.

By the time we finished the eighth house, I was ready to leave her behind. She didn’t seem to care that we were looking for things for the group, not her personal collection. We needed things to help us survive and she was acting like we were at the mall.

When we approached the ninth house I stopped in front of her and held up a hand. I made sure she was looking at me before I spoke, “If you touch anything in this house that isn’t food or water I’m going to toss you in a river, stream, creek, or puddle at least once a day, every single day, until we get home. And no one, not even Lexa, is going to be able to stop me. Do you understand?”

“Don’t be dramatic Clarke.” She tried to walk around me.

I blocked her path with my arm. “Do you understand?”

She glared at me. Then she crossed her arms over her chest and cocked her hip out. When I didn’t back down she sighed and nodded.

With Costia’s shopping curbed for that house at least we made good time. We scoured the bathrooms and kitchen on the main floor, finding more food and bottles of water. Costia actually smiled at my excitement when I did a little dance after finding a fully stocked medicine cabinet in the master bedroom. Then she found a fancy first-aid kit buried in the closet.

Hoping to find more buried treasures we headed up the stairs. I opened the first door I came to. Behind it I found a nursery. I stepped back and closed the door quietly. Costia stared at it for a moment for glancing up at me. I was more than a little surprised to see her eyes watering.

“I forget sometimes,” she said quietly. “I forget about babies.”

“I try not to think about it.” I replied, even more quietly.

“Any baby lucky enough to survive all of this is going to grow up hard. Nobody should grow up hard.”

I could only nod and try to swallow the lump in my throat. That was the first time I’d ever actually considered Costia having real feelings. I didn’t like knowing that.

We finished looking through the rest of the rooms. We didn’t find anything of much use but I did spot a pair of baby blue sneakers that looked to be about Costia’s size. I saw Costia notice them too but to my surprise she kept looking for supplies for the group. She must have remembered my threat about the river because she didn’t even try to sneak them into her messenger bag. As she started to leave the room I grabbed the shoes and handed them to her, a new pair of shoes could actually be useful after all. Costia took them and shoved them in her bag, before she turned to go back down the stairs she nodded and smiled.

For the first time ever, I thought maybe I could be friends with Costia Oakley.

By the time we reached the last house I was sure we could be friends. After finding the shoes, we actually started chatting. Costia told me about her father growing up in a region of Africa known around the world for ethnic tensions. I told her about growing up with my two older sisters and little brother. She asked more than a few questions about Raven and Octavia, which piqued my interest. She also asked about the scar that cut into my eyebrow and laughed with me when I explained how I’d gotten it.

We entered the last house laughing about Bennet’s aim. We searched downstairs, taking whatever we could find in the kitchen and bathrooms, then the master suite, ignoring the dead couple in the bed. By the time we headed up the stairs, her messenger bag was so full the seams looked like they’d burst at any moment and the duffle bag I’d brought was getting heavy enough that I questioned if I’d be able to carry it back to camp.

The first two bedrooms offered nothing interesting. The jack-and-jill bathroom the rooms shared had a stockpile of toothpaste though. Why any one would ever need twenty-three tubes of toothpaste in one bathroom was beyond my understanding, but I was grateful to whoever had hoarded it. Having freshly brushed teeth was the only way I’d felt clean in weeks.

“I think someone may have cared a little too much about oral hygiene.” Costia shook her head. “Doesn’t this seem like overkill?”

Finally, we reached the last door. Inside we found a bedroom that could only have belonged to a teenage girl. She had pictures of her friends, soccer trophies and medals, and posters of her favorite soccer players on her wall. Her room looked like mine. The owner of the room was occupying the bed, unmoving and seemingly already beyond our help.

We looked carefully through the bathroom, where we found some painkillers and lotion, and her closet where we found a pistol under a stack of jeans. Costia found the bullets in one of the drawers in her nightstand.

I stood by the bed, filling the clip of the gun while listening to Costia sing a song her father had taught her. I watched Costia dance around the room, searching drawers and chests, and laughed at the words I didn’t understand. Suddenly, the dead girl moved. I screamed and jumped back. Costia had one her terrifying knives out and ready before I could regain my composure.

~~~~

“Help me.” The girl moved her hand a little, like she was trying to reach for me but didn’t have the strength.

I shook my head. Costia stepped up to my side. She stared at the girl and said, “What do we do?”

I cleared my throat, “there isn’t anything we can do.”

We couldn’t help the girl. She seemed to have fought off the flu but she was too weak to move.

Costia looked from the girl to me and back again. “What do you mean?”

“We can’t carry her and the supplies Costia.” I explained. I closed my eyes and turned away from the girl. “And the others are still too weak to carry her. We don’t have the chair anymore.”

“So you want to leave her here? Like this?” She looked shocked. She’d been more than willing to leave Ophelia behind and she’d known her for most of her life but this complete stranger she wanted to save?

I shook my head again. I didn’t want to leave the girl but I couldn’t see any way we could help her and help our friends. We didn’t have a choice. We needed the supplies and we needed to keep moving, we’d already lost too much time.

I pulled two boxes of energy bars and a few bottles of water out of my duffle bag. I put them on the bed next to the girl. I turned to leave but couldn’t force my feet to move. The girl’s eyes pleaded with me, begging me for help I couldn’t give. I lifted her torso and shoved pillows and stuffed animals behind her. Without looking at her sad eyes again, I fed her two of the energy bars and helped her drink some water.

Once I finished my poor attempts to help the girl, I stood again and said, “Let’s go Costia.”

I hadn’t done much, but it might help the girl regain enough strength the help herself. If she could find the strength to take the caps off the bottles and pull the wrappers from the bars she had a chance.

“If we can’t take her with us then put her out of her misery. Don’t torture her by giving her the things she needs but can’t use.” Costia snapped.

“I’m not going to kill her.” I replied. I started walking toward the door, determined to get away from the girl. “At least this way she has a chance.”

“And here I was, thinking you weren’t so bad Clarke.” Costia clicked her tongue at me.

I turned to ask her what she meant but found myself screaming again at the sight of Costia plunging her knife into the girl’s chest.

“You killed her!” I yelled.

“My way meant she didn’t have to suffer anymore. And we can keep our supplies.” Costia wiped her blade off on the blanket covering the now dead girl. “Win-win.”

~~~~

The last few hours meant nothing. The laughing and stories we’d shared meant nothing. Costia and I could never be friends. I couldn’t help the girl in the bed but at least I’d given her to have a chance. Costia couldn’t see that a chance is all some people need. So Costia and I had some fun conversations, they hadn’t really meant anything. What concerned me was at that moment was knowing how much Costia scared me.

“You didn’t have to do that.” I whispered. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the red blossom spreading on the blanket.

“You’re right.” Costia nodded and shoved her way passed me. “You want to be the leader of our little family. You should have known what needed to be done.”

I covered the girl with her blanket before following Costia out of the house. We walked back to camp in absolute silence. Once we got back I went straight to my tent. I stayed there the rest of the night. I couldn’t face my friends not with the image of the dead girl popping up every time I closed my eyes. I couldn’t even bring myself to talk to Octavia about the girl.

****

Three weeks after my birthday, according to my hand drawn calendar, we were in Pennsylvania. I’d gone through Pennsylvania several times on family trips but I’d never paid much attention to it. On this trip, I stared around me at the hills and mountains in awe.

More important than our joy at being in Pennsylvania was the fact that we were running low on supplies again. Costia and I had found what we thought were plenty of cans and bottles but it hadn’t lasted nearly as long as we’d hoped. Everyone had been so focused on making up for all the time we’d lost that none of us had noticed over dwindling supply of food and water.

One evening as we set up camp, Luke and Lexa scouted around the area for any place that could be hiding food. It almost felt like fate when they came back and told us we’d set up our camp pretty close to a small town. They were able to search through a couple of houses without anyone seeing them.

“There’s more to go through. Some of them are boarded up so it looks like some people are still around.” Luke said. He sat on the ground next to me. He opened his pack to reveal bottles of water and some energy drinks.

“We’ll have to be careful tomorrow when we go through.” Lexa added as she took the spot between Octavia and Costia.

“We’re not going around the town?” I was surprised.

They had insisted almost from the first day that we skirt around any town. They were worried we would run into a large group of people otherwise. They were especially worried about a group of men realizing there were so many teenage girls anywhere nearby. They were convinced that any sign of civilization meant there were bad men waiting for young women to pass by.

“No, this one looked almost completely abandoned. I only saw a couple of curtains flutter when we walked through.” Luke reached over and squeezed my hand. “I think we’ll be fine in this town.”

****

I drew first guard duty that night. I didn’t mind, the air was cool and the moon was out. It was a beautiful night. The rushing of the river over rocks easily hid many of the sounds the animals of the forest made. The moon was barely more than a sliver in the sky. It was beautiful but offered little help in my struggle to see into the darkness. I jumped a foot into the air when I heard a twig snap behind me. I spun on my heel, fitting the butt of my rifle into my shoulder as I turned. I’d gotten much better about keeping my rifle at the ready since Frank had aimed his shotgun at me.

Luke held up his hands and spoke quietly. “It’s pretty out here isn’t it?”

“Why would you sneak up on someone with a gun?” I responded.

“Sorry Clarke.” He laughed. “I didn’t even think about it. I figured you’d hear me unzip my tent or something.”

I hadn’t heard a thing. I’d been thinking about home and about being blind in the middle of a forest.

“Mind if I join you in your circles?” Luke smiled.

“Sure, if you’d like. But you should get some sleep.”

I adjusted the rifle so it was hanging from its strap across my body again, keeping a grip on it with my right hand so I could easily swing it up to my shoulder if I needed it. I started walking again. Luke fell into step next to me. I think holding hands had become a comforting habit for the two of us. It always seemed to happen when we walked together.

A month or two before, I’d have been thrilled to have Luke Forrester holding my hand. It would have been something the other girls would have wanted to kill me over. Now, it was only a comfort. It meant he was a person who wasn’t out to take my food or cause me harm. Luke was a protector. He was a friend. I’d figured out while he was sick he was only a friend. I was more concerned about seeing Octavia bent over the bushes or listening to Harper’s whimpering than I had been over Luke’s coughing. Not that I’d wanted something bad to happen to Luke. I knew I’d be okay if something did happen to him. It sounded harsh, but that was the new way of life, knowing what or who you’d be okay with losing was almost essential to living.

“So you think going through the town is a good idea?” I asked for the thousandth time.

“I think we’ll be fine.” Luke squeezed my hand. “No need to worry.”

“Did you see anywhere there might be food or water?”

He nodded, “On the other side of town, there was a building that looked like a general store or something. It was all boarded up and it doesn’t look like anyone has been able to get in there yet. We may have gotten lucky.”

“I don’t know if I believe in luck anymore Luke.”

He stopped walking. He turned so we were facing each other. “I think giving up on luck is a bad idea Clarke. It may be all we have now.”

“Do you really think we’re lucky? How is it lucky that we’re walking almost blindly across hundreds of miles because of some disease everyone thought would be easily cured? Or that somehow exactly when this pandemic strikes the entire world is crashed into darkness?”

Luke smiled and shook his head. He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “You’re looking at it all wrong Clarke. We’re lucky because we got out before everyone was sick and falling over. We’re lucky because we had a teacher who knew enough to get us started. The mortality rate of this pandemic is supposed to reach sixty or seventy percent according to Ms. Indra so we’re definitely lucky that more of us haven’t died. By those stats, five of us should be dead but we're still here. I have a feeling most people haven’t been nearly as lucky as we’ve been.”

Suddenly I felt like a child being scolded for whining about not having enough presents on her birthday. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know how you meant it.” He pushed a piece of my hair behind my ear. He leaned toward me then. For a moment I thought he was going to kiss me. I tried to think of a polite way to duck out of his way but there was no subtle way to suddenly jump back though. I was able to avoid freaking out by realizing he was trying to gently pull the strap to my rifle off my shoulder. “I think you need to get some sleep. You and Raven have done more than enough for the rest of us. You guys deserve a little bit of a break.”

“No.” I held tightly to my gun. “I’m fine. I can rest tomorrow, after we’ve found supplies.”

“Clarke.” He sighed and pulled on the strap again. “You need sleep. All the rest of us have been getting plenty of rest. You won’t be much good to any of us if you get sick from exhaustion.”

I shook my head. “I’m fine. I’ll wake you up when I get tired.”

He tried to argue for another couple of minutes, his hand never leaving the strap of the rifle. Eventually Octavia stuck her head out of her tent and told Luke to leave me be.

Soon, I was thankfully alone with the trees again. The gentleness of the silence was almost comforting. The occasional hoots of an owl or screeching of a bat would have once sent me running, now they reminded me of life. Not my life or human life, but life as a whole.

I wandered a bit outside of camp, looking at the moon on the river. A doe had walked across my path while I was circling. She looked at me briefly before turning and heading down toward the water. It must have been her that alerted me to the change in atmosphere. One second she was there drinking contentedly and the next she was running away alongside the river. I watched the doe until she disappeared into the darkness and then stared at the last place I had seen her. In my old life, the life I’d been living only weeks before, I would have never dared to venture that close to a deer. I was almost sad to leave that riverbank.

I’d been at the river for a while when I realized the silence had changed. I wasn’t hearing any hooting or screeching or scurrying anymore. There was only silence. Pure silence, the absolute absence of noise, is actually exceptionally loud. Every step sounded like a stomp and every breath sounded like a gasp.

Slowly I made my way back toward camp, which was only a few dozen yards away. I was just able to see the light from the fire through the underbrush when I realized something was wrong. I could hear people talking. People who weren’t my friends. I could hear a at least three men. From where I stood I could tell they were sitting around our fire and laughing.

Painstakingly I made my way through the bushes and dead leaves on the ground I tried to be as quiet as the doe. All I could hear were my own footsteps echoing loudly in my ears. I was sure that the people who’d appeared in camp would hear my approach before I’d have a chance to figure out if they were friend or foe. With blood pounding in my ears I fit my rifle to my shoulder.

I stopped outside the reach of the firelight. Hidden behind a tree and a shrub I peeked around the trunk slowly so I could take in the scene in camp. I could see one man with his arm around Harper’s shoulders. She appeared to be hugging Costia’s arm tightly. Another man was crouched in front of Costia and talking to her with a crooked smile on his face. Raven and Luke were standing on the other side of the fire, both shirtless, although thankfully Raven had her bra on, with their fists clenched at their sides while they glared at the men. I couldn’t see the third man.

Uncertainty rolled through me. He must have slipped away while I was concentrating on getting closer. If I didn’t know where he was, not to mention Lexa and Octavia, I wasn’t sure I should make myself known. If this group had stumbled on to our camp and was looking to trade or something, I didn’t want to threaten them. Of course, that wasn’t what at all it looked like. It looked like they were there to hurt my friends. I didn’t want to reveal myself too soon and risk the man sneaking up on me.

~~~~

My decision on action versus inaction was made for me when I heard the sound of a fist hitting flesh followed by a groan. After some crashing through bushes and undergrowth Octavia made an appearance directly across from me. Her left eye was swelling shut and her bottom lip was split.

“What happened Vic?” The man in front of Costia turned and looked over his shoulder. The smirk obvious in his voice when he asked, “not your style after all?”

The man named Vic glared at his friend. Then he kicked at the back of Octavia’s knee and ordered her to kneel on the ground. When he stepped closer to the fire I could see three scratch marks running down his left cheek under and eye that was already swelling closed. “I guess you could say that Dawson. She’s a little too fiery for me. Too much fight in her.”

The men both hooted with laughter and slapped their knees. Dawson looked up at Vic and said, “I thought you were every girl’s type.”

“Shut up.” Vic snapped. “Richie, go and get Heath. We’ll take what we want and get out of here.”

“Oh, I don’t know if that’s a good idea Vic. Heath looked like he really liked the girl he chose. Maybe we ought to give him a few more minutes.” The man with his arm around Harper shook his head and chuckled like he’d told a fantastic joke.

Richie finished talking allowing more echoes of a fist hitting flesh to reach my ears. I heard Lexa grunt in pain more than once as she was forced through the forest to my right. I barely bit back my gasp of shock when she stepped into camp.

Like Octavia, one of her eyes was swollen and her lip was bleeding. On her forehead there was a gash, the blood running down her face and dripping on to her shirt. It looked like her knuckles on her right hand were swollen and bleeding.

“These girls aren’t any fun Vic.” Heath cackled behind Lexa. His face didn't look much better than Vic's. “I thought we picked right. Two healthy white girls ought to be happy to be of service.”

Lexa spat out blood and glanced at Raven and Luke before glaring at Vic. “I guess you should have gone with the other options ladies. I’m not one for cheating.”

Heath shoved Lexa forward so she landed on her knees behind Costia and Harper. Harper immediately turned and placed a hand on her head, smoothing her hair. Costia’s eyes were glistening with tears when she whispered something to Lexa. She shook her head but wouldn’t look at either of them. After shooting a sneer toward my friends Heath took a few steps forward and studied Raven and Luke closely. After a minute or two he shook his head. “No. The Lord doesn’t want us to mix. So we won’t mix. What’s the matter with your girl Vic?”

“She says she didn’t find me sexually appealing. Then she punched me. I don’t have it in me to hold her down tonight. Too tired.” Vic moved forward to stand next to Heath. He nudged Luke with his foot while he spoke, like he couldn’t believe he was real. He put his fingertips under his chin to roughly force his head back. He glared into his face.

Richie pulled a revolver out of the waistband of his jeans and handed it to Heath. “Well, we’ve only got the one bullet left. I’d bet anything they have a gun or two around here though. Maybe we ought to put this one out of his misery?”

“What?” Raven looked over to where Octavia was on her knees then back to Richie. “Are you kidding me?”

“You think you have a say in this Jew?” Heath jammed a finger hard into Raven’s side. My cousin grimaced and fell back. I barely bit back my gasp when I saw her side. It looked like someone had tried to cut out her tattoo. Blood was running freely from what looked like two or three deep slices. Her grey basketball shorts were soaked with blood down one side.

Vic poked at the bloody patch of flesh. “As soon as they figure out what’s wrong with your friends, Heath is going to finish what he started with this.”

“I’d like to see him try.” Raven replied. Her voice was surprisingly even. I’d have screamed as soon as my lips parted.

“How are you going to stop me?” Heath cackled.

“I’m sure I’ll figure something out. It wouldn’t be strategically sound to tell you my plan now would it?” Raven replied without looking away from Heath. “I’m not a Bond villain.”

Vic grabbed Raven’s chin and forced her to turn her head first one way then the other. “How’d we stumble across such a mouthy group of unwanteds?”

Heath aimed the revolver at Raven’s head. Dawson moved between them and shook his head. “Don’t waste the bullet on the Jew. I’ll bet her dark skinned friend here has an opinion on who the bullet should go to. Bet it won’t be him.”

Vic nodded and said, “He’d pick the Jew I’d bet.”

Octavia replied, “He wouldn’t pick any of us.”

“You think so?” Dawson grinned.

“I know so.” Octavia snapped. “Could you please do what you need to do and get out of here? We’re tired.”

“Murder is still evil.” Luke pointed out, trying to distract them from Octavia’s antagonizing.

Vic snickered. “Not if the one doing the dying is a sinner. The righteous have finally inherited the Earth and we must ensure only the pure remain.”

Heath twirled the gun around one finger like he was an old west cowboy as he walked over to Octavia. He stood in front of her. After saying a prayer he looked over at Harper and Costia who were both crying. For a second he looked confused, like he couldn’t figure out why they were upset. Then he laughed and lowered the gun to Octavia’s forehead. “I don’t know why you’re so upset, it isn’t like she can procreate with either one of you.”

“That really isn’t a good idea Heath.” I finally broke my silence from the shadows.

“Who’s there?” Dawson whirled around and stared into the forest to my left.

I chambered a round, the click audible in the hushed woods. “You have one bullet in that gun you have pointed at my best friend’s head. I have thirty in this clip and two clips in my pockets. I’d have to be a pretty horrible shot to miss that many times.”

“Why don’t you come out where we can see you little girl?” Richie replied.

“I’m good here, thanks.”

Heath lifted his hands into the air. “What do you want?”

“Honestly, I’d like to rewind tonight and have this whole situation not occur. It’s sort of ruining a moment I was having a few minutes ago. But I think we all know that isn’t possible.” I sighed loudly. “How many people have you done this to? How many have you stolen from? How many people have you raped and killed while you hid behind your stupid backwoods ideals?”

Vic started to speak as he took a step back, edging toward the safety of the pitch-black forest behind him. “I don’t think-”

“Take one more step, any of you, and you’ll find out how good of a shot I am.” I pressed my gun harder to my shoulder, preparing myself. “I asked a question. How many?”

“We’ve taken from over thirty!” Richie answered.

“And those two have killed twelve or thirteen.” Dawson pointed at Heath and Vic. “Richie and I haven’t killed anyone.”

“We have not!” Vic shrieked.

“Did you kill them because their skin had more pigment?” Lexa asked. She slowly stood and faced the men. “Or because they were gay? Or Muslim? Anything but white Christians right? Or are you really just okay with white Christian males? ”

When Octavia moved to follow her example, Heath kicked her and screamed scripture at her. He pressed the barrel against her forehead again. It shouldn’t have been possible but even from that distance I swear I saw his finger tighten on the trigger. I didn’t blink as I squeezed the trigger. The three round burst hit him in the chest. He was dead before he hit the ground.

I yelled over Vic’s shrieking. “Using your faith as justification to hurt someone goes against everything Christianity is supposed to be about. Using someone’s faith or who they love or their race against them is the weak way to power.” I stepped into the light. “Want me to quote some things for you?”

“You killed my brother.” Vic stared at Heath’s body.

“He threatened my family. Are you going to follow his lead?”

Dawson and Richie shook their heads and raised their hands over their heads, standing as still as statues. Luke grabbed the nearest weapon, my softball bat, and moved toward them. I thought he was going to brain them. Instead he nudged the backs of their knees until they lowered themselves to the ground. Vic turned on his heel and ran for the trees. Raven had Heath’s revolver in her hands before I could react. She turned on her heel and shot him in the back. We heard him fall into the underbrush. We all cringed away from his screams for help. Raven threw down the revolver and grabbed her rifle from her tent. With her head high and shoulders squared she slowly walked into the woods.

“Gentlemen.” I moved into the clearing. I approached Dawson and Richie, my rifle never wavering from Dawson’s chest. “What’s the plan now? Going to negotiate a release and then wait for us to let our guard down so you can get revenge? You want to go your separate way and hope you never see us again?”

“I like the second option.” Dawson replied.

Richie nodded. “We were only with them because they seemed friendly at first. We didn’t know they were going to hurt people. By the time we realized what they were doing, it was too late to leave. One of them was always awake and watching us.”

Another shot rang through the woods. We all looked toward the sound to see Raven walking out of the woods. “It hit his spine. He couldn’t feel anything from the neck down.”

~~~~

“That was a mercy. Thank you.” Richie spoke quietly.

“I didn’t do it for you.” Raven snapped. “I wouldn’t let a cat suffer like that, why would I let another human being suffer? Even one who was so narrow-minded.”

I glanced around at my friends, Raven and Lexa with their rifles and Octavia with her handgun glaring at the men. Luke stood between the men and the girls.

Turning back to the men I spoke quietly. “So guys... What do we do?”

“Let them go.” Octavia replied.

“Are you kidding me?” Costia snapped. “They were going to… hurt me and Harper. Their friends tried to hurt Lexa and Octavia!”

“No! No, we weren’t!” Richie replied. “We only put on a show for the brothers. They’d have killed us otherwise.”

“You let them kill people for being gay or black or for who knows how many other reasons because you were scared?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“We wanted to live!” Dawson reached over and linked his hand with Richie. “We were planning on breaking away soon. We were on our honeymoon when things went bad. We’re trying to get home to New York.”

Richie let go of Dawson’s hand. Slowly he lowered his left hand and reached into the front pocket of his jeans. He pulled out a wedding ring and slipped it on. Dawson followed his example. Then they linked their hands again.

“Unbelievable.” Raven shook her head. “They’re collaborators!”

“Raven and Octavia, come with me. Lexa, will you stay on watch?” I spoke quickly, motioning for the men on their knees in front of me to stand. “Everyone else try to get some sleep.”

Raven and Octavia carried the dead men away from camp while I held my rifle to the men. We walked for a while before they led me to their camp. Once there, Dawson ducked into a tent and reappeared with a photo album of Polaroid photos from his wedding to Richie.

“We didn’t mean any harm. We were just trying to survive.” Richie said.

I shook my head. Whether or not they meant to cause harm didn’t matter. The last thing I wanted to hear was the reasoning behind their cooperation. “You keep your distance from us. If we see either of you again, we won’t hesitate to shoot.”

“Understood.” Dawson replied.

Raven, Octavia, and I walked away. We were back in camp before any of us spoke. As soon as we were within the circle of our tents Octavia turned to me, wanting to know how I was feeling. All I could do was shake my head. I wasn’t sure how to feel. I’d killed a man. Sure I’d been defending my friends and family, but still, I’d taken a life.

“I can’t talk about it. I can’t even think about it.” I walked to my tent and pulled at the zipper. I couldn’t seem to make it budge. Lexa appeared at my side to help. Once the flap was open I ducked down to crawl inside. She grabbed my arm to stop me. I shook my head, “I can’t. Please. Leave me alone.”

The sound that came from her throat, a growl mixed with a groan, told me she desperately wanted to argue. Then her fingers flexed on my arm and she sighed. “Alright Griffin. You get some sleep. Luke and I are going to share guard duty for the rest of the night. Just in case.”

Harper was in my tent again, as she had been every night since everyone had recovered from their illnesses. It went without saying that we were tent mates by that point. I crawled into my sleeping bag and zipped it closed. After a few minutes, I heard Lexa walk away, finally out of earshot.

I started crying. Not huge wracking sobs, no blubbering, just crying. I’d never wanted to be responsible for taking a life. Not a person and not an animal. But I’d taken one. Almost without a thought in my head, I’d pulled the trigger and killed a man. When I closed my eyes all I could see was Heath collapsing, then when I’d chase that memory away, the girl in the bed would appear, her haunting empty eyes staring at me.

Harper rolled over and hugged me. That’s when the blubbering started. She never said a word, she would squeeze me tighter when the hard crying hit. Somehow I knew the wordless comfort was better than any words even Octavia or Raven could have offered me.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke finally gets a little bit of payback against Costia.
> 
> Clexa and Co. find some much needed help. And agree to take on another member to their group.

The next morning I expected to find Octavia kneeling over me when someone shook me awake. Instead I opened my eyes to find Lexa crouched next to me. Her lip was swollen; her eye and temple were bruised from Heath’s attack. The cut on her forehead wasn’t as bad as it looked when I’d first seen it, only a couple of inches long and thin, like a ring had caught her. Someone had cleaned it and put some medical tape on it.

“Woods? What’s going on?”

She grabbed my shoulders and gave me another shake before pointing behind her to several empty energy drink cans on the ground around the fire. “Have you ever had one of those? Coach wouldn’t let us have caffeine so I never tried one. They are amazing! I feel so awake!” Suddenly her head jerked to the left and froze, reminding me a squirrel. “What was that?”

“Okay.” I laughed. “I’m officially cutting you off.”

A strange look passed over her face before she fell back and moved one of her hands in front of her groin and the other over her chest. Suddenly she seemed worried. “What are you cutting off?”

“I’m not cutting anything off. What you do with… all of that... is your business.” I stretched. “What’s going on?”

“Are you sure you don’t want one? There’s a few left.”

I shook my head. “I don’t like caffeine.”

“Right,” she nodded and crouched in front of me again. She studied my face like an artist would study her latest creation. “Right. It makes you sick. I remember now.”

“Yeah.”

She offered a hand to help me sit up. “More for me then. Come on, it’s time to go. Everyone else is packed up and waiting.”

“Why didn’t Harper wake me up?”

“We thought you could use a little extra sleep.” She did a weird back roll to exit the tent. I laughed and ducked out of the way so her feet didn’t hit me in the face. Once she was standing outside the tent she leaned down and stared at me. “Yesterday was… horrible.”

Before I could respond I heard Costia yelling. “Let’s go Clarke.”

I packed everything as quickly as I could and took my rifle from Harper. I ate a granola bar while we walked toward the town.

Raven appeared next to me. “They were collaborators Clarke.”

“I know Raven. It’s not surprising. It’s a life or death world now, they wanted life.”

“So they let their new friends-” Shaking her head, she turned to walk away.

I grabbed her arm and pulled her to a stop. “We can’t let this get to us Raven. It’s horrible but I think that’s reality now.”

“Did you see what they did to Octavia? And to Lexa. And what that man did to me? He tried to cut my tattoo from my ribcage Clarke! He wanted to literally take my flesh from my body!” She pulled up her shirt and turned so I could see her tattoo. She’d used the medical tape to try to hold the cuts together but they looked too deep to me. In the old world, she’d have needed stitches. There was a deep purple bruise underneath the little bit of ink I could see. “I get it now. This new world I mean. It’s not fair and it isn’t right. But it’s the world now. We have to be more careful. No more halfhearted guard duty. We have to be more aware.”

“Why didn’t you scream?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking.

“That’s what he wanted me to do. So I bit my tongue until it bled. You should have seen the smile in his face when I spit out the blood. Then I clenched my teeth so tight that I thought one of them was going to crack.” Raven lowered her shirt.

“I can’t believe I let them into camp.”

“You didn’t let anyone in. Having one person on guard duty let them in. We’ve got to change how we’re doing things. We have to take all of this more seriously.”

I nodded. Then my eyes filled with tears. “I killed that man.”

“I know. And I killed his brother.” Raven tucked her shirt back in and slowly put on her varsity jacket. “This new world sucks.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” I smiled up at her before I wiped my eyes and started walking again.

Soon we could see the tops of buildings. We stopped to plan out our path through the town. We stood on the muddy banks studying the layout of the town as well as Lexa and Luke could remember it. There were several streets they’d seen that seemed to be relatively undisturbed so those were the ones we’d scavenge first.

“Lexa!” Costia said from the path. Since the first day of the trip she’d refused to go anywhere near the mud. Woods didn’t respond to her call so she tried again, this time with more whine in her tone. “Lexa!”

Woods took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Without looking up she replied, “Yes Costia?”

“I thought of something I need to tell you.”

“Okay. I’ll be over in a minute.”

“But it’s important!” The whining was getting worse with each syllable.

“And I have some important plans to work on Costia. Like how we’re going to safely make it through that town.”

“It’s really really important Lexa!” She dragged out her name.

She sighed and turned to face her. “Okay Costia. What is it?”

She batted her eyelashes and crooked a finger at her. “Come over here and I’ll tell you.”

Woods shook her head and turned back to the mud drawing. She started pointing out possible routes and back-up routes.

“Lexa Woods!” Costia put her hands on her hips. The whining went up an octave. “You come over here right now.”

I snorted at that. “I think she thinks you’re a dog Woods.”

She shot a glare at me but didn’t take the bait. I looked over her shoulder and saw Harper cautiously approaching Costia.

She put her hand lightly on Costia’s arm and spoke calmly. “She’s obviously busy right now. Why don’t you leave her alone for now so she can finish up whatever she’s doing quickly? Then she can come and talk to you without distractions.”

Costia jerked her arm away. “I want to talk to her now.”

“You should give her a minute.” Harper replied. She wrapped an arm around her friend’s tiny waist and tried to lead her further away.

“Are you saying I’m not worth a minute of her time?” Costia hissed. She shoved Harper away.

“Okay. Something’s got to give.” I said. I couldn’t take anymore of her tantrums. We had plans to make and the scene Costia was causing was most definitely a distraction. Shoving Harper was just plain rude. And I was still mad about the girl in the bed. “I’m done with this.”

“Clarke.” Octavia’s tone was a warning.

I shook my head. I’d bitten my tongue for the majority of the trip. I hadn’t let Costia get to me. I hadn’t ratted her out to the others when she’d killed that girl. Now she was refusing to allow those of us capable of actually creating a plausible plan from doing that planning. I calmly walked to Costia and started to tell her to keep quiet while the grown-ups talked.

“You can’t tell me what to do! This isn’t all about you Clarke!” Costia spat. Her words brought back more memories of our scavenging adventure.

“I’m well aware of that. You’re the one who seems to be forgetting this is about all of us for the millionth time.”

For the second time since we’d left the city Costia smacked me, her hand cracking across my face. I could feel the welt rising on my cheek before my eyes could meet hers again. The sting was instant. It took a couple of blinks to rid my eyes of tears. It was the iron taste of blood on my tongue that sent me over the edge a little.

I spit a mouthful of blood on the ground and touched the tip of my tongue to the cuts on the inside of my cheek. I nodded and said, “Game on then.”

“Are you going to punch me again? That isn’t very civilized Clarke.” Costia’s smile stretched thinly across her face.

I couldn’t respond. Bubbe had always told me you could tell the intelligence of a person by the language they used when they were upset. At that moment I wanted to call Costia every name I could think of in English, Slovak, and Yiddish. Turns out that was an extensive list. Since that wasn’t an option for me, I did the only thing I could think of. I threw Costia over my shoulder and marched her down through the mud toward the edge of the river. The blood pounding in my ears blocked out most of her shrieking.

I could hear the others yelling at me to put her down. Except Raven, she was telling me to watch out for a rock that was in my way. She didn’t want me to trip. After sidestepping the rock I took three more steps forward. I was in the river, the water running over my boots soaking my socks. I kept going until the water was rushing past my knees. Then, without the slightest bit of hesitation, I tossed Costia into the frigid water.

I watched her surface with a grin on my face. I saw her flicking her tiny braids out of her faces and spitting water. It was like ten Christmases and Hanukkahs in one.

Ignoring her cursing and the multitude of threats she rained down on me I went back to making plans with the guys. Harper met her at the edge of the river. It wasn’t the first time I’d wished Harper would let Costia deal with her issues on her own but Harper was Harper. She had to help.

****

Once Costia was sufficiently dry, which only took about thirty minutes because Woods refused to wait any longer than that, we approached the town. We made our way through the streets slowly, walking in a single file line with plenty of room between us. Like Lexa and Luke had explained, the town looked almost abandoned. There were a few buildings that looked like people might still be trying to survive in the town but mostly there was an eerie sense of abandonment. Occasionally we would hear people coughing or sneezing or gagging through walls and windows.

We started to branch off from one another to check out houses. Two of us would stay on the street at all times while the rest of us would check out a nearby house or business. By mid-afternoon we’d worked our way through the town. Costia and Luke suggested going down some more side streets to gather more but the rest of us wanted to be well away from the town by sundown. The five bottles of water and a eighteen or so cans of food would have to do.

On the outskirts we stopped to eat a late lunch and plan the rest of the day’s journey. We redistributed the food and other things we’d found so that no one was carrying more than necessary. As quickly as we stopped we all picked up our packs and started walking again.

Raven and I were at the back of the group talking about our family. We were laughing at the story of Bubbe’s first attempt at Thanksgiving dinner when Luke, who was at the front of the group, held up a hand. Immediately we all stopped walking and looked around. After checking all around but finding nothing out of the ordinary we moved one-by-one to stand with Luke to see why he’d made us stop.

Up ahead the road cut through the path we would be following after we finished in the town. Sitting at the intersection of the trail and the road was a single building, the general store Luke had seen the day before. The building looked completely secure. There were boards over the windows and the door. The glass all seemed to be intact.

“Do you think it’s safe?” Costia whispered.

“It doesn’t look like anyone is in there.” Octavia replied.

Raven glanced down at me, then back to the building. Her hands tightened on her rifle. “It could be a trap. Someone could have done that to the building to lure people in.”

“She’s right.” I pulled my rifle off my shoulder. I nodded to Raven when she moved her rifle into a ready position. She seemed hesitant to use the weapon again. “We should check it out. See if there’s anything in there we could use.”

“But… trap?” Harper looked confused. Her eyes flew from the building to Raven and me then back again.

“Everyone keep an eye and an ear out.” Lexa shook Costia’s hand off her arm so she could have her rifle ready. When she pressed it to her shoulder she shook her head and sighed, “Life is weird.”

“Life’s an adventure.” Raven replied with a shrug. “Embrace the detours.”

“This detour could get us killed.” Costia snapped.

“Anything in this world can kill us. That’s part of the fun.” I replied.

Our little group approached the building slowly. When we were about thirty feet from the door, I told the others to wait and approached the building with Raven.

We were attempting to see through the dirt-covered windows in the door when it swung open into the building. I fell forward onto my hands and knees, my rifle dangling from its strap. I coughed at the dust and waved my hand in front of my face, trying to clear the air around me. When I could finally see I realized I was staring down the barrels of a double shotgun. Flashes of the night before flew through my mind. I fought off the tears that threatened.

“What the hell do you want?” A rusty voice demanded.

Raven pulled me up and took a step forward so she’d be in front of me while I composed myself. “We’re sorry sir. We didn’t know anyone was here.”

“You trying to steal my merchandise?” The voice belonged to an old man. His gray hair was disheveled, thick with sweat and oil. His overalls and blue and green plaid shirt were covered in dirt and dust. He didn’t seem to appreciate my appraisal. “Well? What the hell do you want?”

I moved to stand next to Raven. “Please sir, we didn’t mean anything. We don’t want any trouble.”

Behind me I heard a gun safety click. I held my hand behind me and waved. The last thing Raven and I needed was one of our friends attempting to play hero. We may have taught them the basics of shooting but this man was only a few feet from us. None of them could take a shot at the man without putting my cousin or me in danger.

“Oh! You brought an army with you. Well I suppose I ought to be shaking in my boots then.” The man shook his head. “You all lower those guns now. You’re trespassing on my property. No need to add the insult of pointing those guns at me too.”

I glanced over my shoulder to see Lexa holding her rifle tight against her shoulder and Octavia using the push-pull method to hold her gun in front of her. I motioned again for them to lower the guns. Luke, who hadn’t even pulled his pistol from its holster, put his hand on the barrel of Lexa’s rifle and forced it down.

Once the guns were lowered, the old man returned the favor. “You kids need something? Why are you all so dirty?”

“We’ve been walking for a long while sir.” Raven replied.

“We’re looking for water.” I added. “And maybe some food.”

The old man’s eyes narrowed. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“Technically we answered one of them.” Raven smiled easily. Elderly people always liked her. She was good at getting almost anybody to like her.

“Well answer the other one.” The old man’s bushy eyebrows drew together.

Raven looked at me and shrugged. I cleared my throat and started speaking. I’d only meant to tell the man about walking but soon I was telling him the whole story. Together, we told him everything from Ophelia’s experiences at the war memorial to burying her to the small raid on our camp the night before to walking through town that morning.

“So you’re stealing other people’s things.” The old man nodded as if I’d confirmed what he’d already known. “And you’re killing.”

“No sir. We didn’t take anything from anybody who was alive. And the killing was only done to protect us.” I argued.

The old man’s eyes widened. “The sickness! You’ve seen it too?”

“I already told you sir. About our friend.”

He nodded slowly. Finally he lowered his shotgun completely and held out his right hand. “Aden Kincaid, pleasure to meet you.”

“Clarke Griffin.” I responded.

Raven stuck her hand out for a handshake. When Aden took it he said, “Raven Reyes.”

Aden stood back to make room for us to enter the building. He leaned out the door to yell at the others, “you keep those guns down and we’ll get on just fine. Get yourselves in here.”

Soon the seven of us were standing in the main room of the general store. The store had a little of everything. It had hunting and fishing equipment, food, water, clothing, and shoes among other things. It was an outdoorsmen’s paradise.

“This place is amazing!” Lexa made her way over to the fishing equipment. “I’d kill to have a fish fresh from the river.”

“I saw one jumping in and out of the water the other day. I think it was mocking me. Like it knew I couldn’t catch it so it was being all smug and stuff.” Raven sighed.

“Anything that’s not canned pasta would be nice.” Octavia added.

“Can’t you kids hunt? You have the guns for it.” Aden shook his head.

I gestured to the rifle hanging across my body. “We tried. Raven and I are the best shots but neither of us could pull the trigger. Lexa tried too but she’s not a good shot. Like, can’t hit a barn door from thirty feet, not a good shot.”

“If what you’ve said about the world is true, it’s kill or be killed. Might as well face that fact now.” Aden Kincaid replied sharply. “You proved as much last night.”

“I know. I’m working on it.” I murmured.

Aden walked around the store and introduced himself to everyone. After discussing fishing with Lexa and Luke he walked back to the counter. He slid himself on to a stool nearby and coughed. Like a class of second graders we moved to congregate in front of him. He waited until he could see all of our faces before he spoke again. “Well now, I have a proposition for you kids. I have a grandson.”

His last word hung in the air; none of us knew what to say. Finally Octavia repeated, “A grandson?”

I was about to ask him to explain when a small blonde head popped up from behind the counter. We all held our breath as the little boy walked around the counter and stopped next to Aden. It had been over a month since we’d seen a small child.

Aden rested his hand on the boy’s shoulder, “He’s a good boy. I’m worried for his safety. Given the state of your little group, I’m right to worry.”

“I’m sure he’s safe with you sir.” I replied quickly. The little boy looked nothing like my brother but seeing him instantly made me to think of Jacob.

“Truth is, I’m not sure how safe he is.” Aden sighed. He reached out and messed with the boy’s hair. Then he put his hands over the boy’s ears. “My wife is in the back storeroom. She’s having a hard time keeping food down, let alone water. Yesterday, blood started leaking from her ears and nose. I’m not feeling so well myself. He can’t be on his own. He’s only six.”

“What does any of this have to do with us?” Costia sounded like she was not only confused by the topic but also bored.

“Well young lady. I know you need supplies and that’s what I’ve got. I know what you need and how to use the equipment. What I need is someone to keep him safe and you’ve got the safety of numbers.” Aden smiled as the boy wobbled his head, trying to force the old man’s hands off his ears. As he let go, he ruffled the boy’s hair again.

“No.” Luke shook his head. “He should be with his family. Where are his parents?”

“Mommy is with the angels. Daddy is playing in the sandbox.” The little boy replied quietly.

“His mother passed a couple of years ago in a car accident. His father is in the Army. He’s… in the desert at the moment.” Aden explained before he coughed again. He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped his mouth. “I think we all know the reality of what is going to happen to me and to my wife. These things always affect the elderly the most. He can take care of himself to a certain point. But he’s six. There’s a lot he can’t do. He doesn’t like to talk to new people and he doesn’t like me to tell anyone his name. Some business about stranger danger. He’ll tell you soon enough I expect.”

“Sir, I’m sorry but I don’t-” Luke was shaking his head again.

Aden waved his hand and interrupted Luke’s protest, “Listen son. I know it’s an odd request but this is the only thing I can do for him. You’re the first decent looking folks to come through here since the sickness hit. You all take whatever you need from me. You take whatever you need to keep each other safe. In exchange, you take my grandson with you and keep him safe.”

My friends were shaking their heads. I asked for a moment for us to talk it over.

“You take your time.” Aden nodded. As we moved to the far side of the store, I saw him grab his shotgun from the counter next to him and place it across his lap. Clearly he meant to have his way or we weren’t going to easily get any supplies.

“There’s no way Clarke.” Costia said right away. “He would only slow us down. No one is strong enough to haul him around all the time.”

“He’s a little boy who doesn’t have any other way to survive.” I replied. I knew she was using my arguments about the girl in the bed against me. But the boy wasn’t sick, he was young, there was a difference.

Luke stood next to Costia. “No. We can’t afford any more delays. We can’t take on another mouth to feed. Especially one that won’t contribute toward our food supply.”

“He’s not a leach Luke. He’s a kid.” Lexa spoke quietly. “He deserves a chance.”

“We only got rid of Ophelia a few weeks ago and now you want to bring on more dead weight.” Costia said.

“Got rid of Ophelia?” Octavia repeated. Her face turned scarlet and she clenched her fists at her side. “Got rid of her? Are you serious? My sister died! She was sick! She wasn’t dead weight!”

“Did she contribute to the good of the group?” Costia smiled maliciously. She loved knowing when one of her barbs hit its mark. “No, she didn’t. She sat in that chair while all of you used most of your energy to move her around. Isn’t that kind of the definition of dead weight?”

Octavia dove at Costia. Raven caught her around the waist and, with Harper’s help, wrestled her away from Costia. Somehow they managed to move her further away as she stood across from me grinning like a cat again. She was still screaming at her when they forced her into one of the back rooms.

Lexa wrapped her hand around my wrist when I took a step toward Costia. She glared at her and said, “That was not okay Costia.”

“It’s nothing but the truth Lexa. You said it yourself.”

My eyes flew to Lexa’s face. I twisted my wrist, trying to get her to release me. “You said that? You called Ophelia dead weight?”

“No.” She shook her head. “I said it’d be better when she wasn’t in the chair. When she could move on her own. I said when! You have to admit pushing that chair was draining.”

“Don’t get side-tracked Clarke. We’re not taking that kid with us.” Luke whispered through clenched teeth.

“I say we are.” I snapped back.

“Why? Why risk all of our lives for a kid who probably won’t even make it to the Ohio border?” Costia made a show of checking her nails. In her mind the argument was already over. After all the arguments we’d had since Washington D.C. and the numerous times I’d told her it wasn’t all about her, she thought because she’d said no we’d all go along with what she’d decided. Her demeanor said as much. “You proved you were willing to make the tough decisions last night. You barely hesitated before you pulled the trigger.”

“This is the only time I’m going to talk about last night with you Costia. I was protecting Octavia. I’d have made the same decision if it had been almost any other person in this group. I feel…” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I feel horrible and I feel guilty, but I know it was the right call.” I glared at her. I pointed at the little boy sitting with his grandfather and spoke calmly, “He’s six. He isn’t going to have anyone to look after him soon.”

“Well what about that girl?” Costia smiled. She knew I didn’t want to talk about that day and what she’d done.

“What girl?” Lexa asked. Her hand finally released my wrist but only so she could slide it down to wrap her fingers around mine.

“Don’t worry about it.” I replied quickly and squeezed her fingers.

Costia’s subtle reminder of her ruthlessness wasn’t necessary. I’d never be able to forget the look on that girl’s face. She and Heath haunted me whenever I let my mind wander too much. I took a deep breath and glared at Costia, “What happened that day is on you. Not me. We’re taking the kid.”

Luke rubbed the back of his neck. “Listen, I don’t care about that kid. I care about the people in this group. Clarke, I think I can take that old man.”

“Excuse me?” My head snapped back. I hoped he wasn’t suggesting what I thought I was.

“I can get to him easily enough. I can keep him out of the way while the rest of you get supplies. No need to make a trade when we can take what we need.” He was definitely suggesting what I thought he was.

Lexa stepped forward. I held on tightly to her hand, stopping her from going chest to chest with her cousin but her nose was almost touching Luke’s as she spoke. “No. That’s not what we do. We don’t turn our backs on people because it’s the easy thing to do. We don’t go after the weak. We aren’t going to hurt Aden just because you don’t get that. We’re taking the kid with us. End of discussion.”

As far as I was concerned, that was the end of the discussion. I squeezed Lexa’s fingers one more time before letting go of her hand and walking back toward the counter. I smiled at the little boy who was hanging on to his grandfather’s pant leg.

“We’ll take him Aden. And I promise to take care good of him.”

“No we won’t.” Luke growled. He grabbed my arm and spun me around to face him. “If you take that kid, I’ll walk the rest of the way on my own Clarke. I swear I will.”

“I’ll go with him. So will Harper.” Costia added. She held up a hand, “And before you threaten me again Clarke, she’ll do whatever I say. She doesn’t know how else to function.”

I studied Luke closely. Suddenly, all the things I used to like about him were gone. So I shrugged. “Get your gear and go then. I’m not leaving this store without the boy.”

Luke’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times. Finally he shook his head and started grabbing supplies. Costia’s dark eyes held mine as she yelled Harper’s name. She smirked when Harper appeared almost immediately. The three of them gathered their supplies. Lexa tried to stop them from taking anything from the store. I argued with her for a few minutes before she finally agreed to let them take what they needed even though they weren’t going to be helping with the boy.

When they were ready to go Harper hugged Lexa before she whispered a goodbye to the boy and Aden. Then she was walking toward me. She hugged my tightly and whispered low enough that no one else could hear, “You’re stronger than you know Clarke. It’s going to get tough but you’ll get through.”

Then she was gone. Costia shouldered me out of her way. She stopped long enough to blow Lexa a kiss. Octavia came out of the backroom as she reached the door. Costia smirked at her and barely raised her hand to wave at Raven who was standing behind her.

“Think about this Luke.” Lexa stood away from the rest of us with her cousin. “This isn’t how your parents would want you to handle this.”

“I think my parents would be more concerned with my survival than the survival of a kid they’ve never met.” Luke replied. He glanced at me and rolled his eyes. I didn’t think he meant for me to hear him when he whispered, “Why are you taking her side?”

“He’s only a couple years older than Gustus.” Lexa said plainly, like that would explain everything. She handed Luke the hunting rifle. “I guess I hope that someone would help my brother if he needed it. And Clarke’s brother is only a couple years older than the boy. I’m sure she wants to believe someone would help Jacob.”

“Whatever Lexa. See you at home.” The cousin’s hugged briefly before the trio left the store.

I approached the boy slowly. When I was within arms reach I spoke to Aden. “We’re going to take him with us sir. We’ll take good care of him.”

“I’m sure you will young lady, after that fight you just put up for him.” Aden smiled kindly. “I didn’t mean to break up the family.”

Lexa scoffed, “some family. It fell apart for no reason.”

“It was bound to happen. We all know how you feel about Costia but one of us was probably going to end up killing her.” Octavia said.

“She’s not that bad.” Lexa replied.

“She called Ophelia dead weight.” Octavia snapped.

“She lacks social skills.” Said Raven. “Which is odd, given that she’s the most popular girl in our class.”

“She isn’t here to defend herself.” Lexa quietly reminded us.

I sneered at her weak defense of the girl, “That was her choice.”

“Alright kids. That’s enough. You get what supplies you need and get on the road. You need to get away from town before dark. That’s when the looters come out.”

Like our friends had done, we walked up and down aisles of the store and grabbed whatever we thought would be useful. My first selection was an actual hiking pack. It was immediately more comfortable than my school backpack and could hold more than twice the amount of weight. While we were sorting and packing everything, Aden disappeared into a backroom.

A couple of minutes later he came out holding another shotgun and a few boxes of shells. He handed it to Lexa. “This ought to help with the keeping safe part I think. I know you’ve got rifles and that fancy pistol but shotguns are scarier. They go boom.”

Soon we were ready to go. I helped collect items for a small pack for the boy while Aden and Lexa helped him put on his jacket.

“Now then, you listen to this young lady. You understand?” Aden pointed at me. After he nodded Aden pointed to Lexa, “and if she isn’t making any sense, like what happens with the ladies, then you ask this young lady what to do.”

He leaned over and whispered into the boy’s ear. His small eyes were filled with tears as he nodded in response to whatever his grandfather had said. He walked over to my side and grabbed three of my fingers in his little hand.

I cleared my throat, trying to force the knot back down. “Aden, we’re from Ohio. A small village called Whitehouse outside of Toledo, not too far from Michigan. That’s where we’re heading.”

“Whitehouse, Ohio.” Aden nodded. “When I feel up to it, I’ll follow.”

Lexa headed to the door, holding it open for the rest of us. “Thanks for your help Aden. We’ll take care of him.”

“I don’t know about that,” Aden replied. “I think I may have hurt more than I helped.”

****

We only managed to walk a few miles after leaving the general store before the sun approached the horizon. The boy really slowed us down. I hated that Luke and Costia had been so right about that. Luckily we had no trouble finding a place to sleep that night. The boy had camped with his father and grandfather in the state forest we were walking through. He led us to a tree house of sorts that people used for bird watching.

Once camp was established Lexa and Octavia tried their hands at fishing while I used a small sewing kit I'd found in the store to sew up Raven's side. Admittedly, it sucked for Raven. I used the fire to sanitize the needle and the alcohol wipes on the fishing line I was using for the stitches. then with a few deep breaths, and my cousin biting down on her belt, I started sewing. It wasn't the prettiest of stitch jobs, but it got the jog done.

Much to my surprise, the fishing party actually caught a few small fish after the boy told them they were using the wrong bait. The thought of fresh food, not something from a can, made my mouth water. Of course none of us were happy when it was time to clean the fish though. Once again the boy took the lead. It was almost comical, four teenagers following the lead of a kid a decade younger. Octavia ended up being the one to step up and follow the boy’s short directions to clean the fish. After weeks of eating nothing but canned food the fresh fish almost felt like a feast.

The boy sat next to me by the fire as darkness fell. I tried to talk to him about all kinds of things but he wouldn’t speak unless asked a direct question. I stood to go to the bathroom and laughed when the boy jumped up and grabbed my hand.

“I’ll be right back. You can stay here with the guys if you’d like.”

“Grandad said I had to hold your hand at all times.”

Lexa snickered. “How about we change that rule? How about you have to hold hands with one of the four of us? We won’t limit you to just Griffin’s company.”

“But Grandad said to hold her hand.”

“Trust me kid, I don’t think he’ll mind.” Raven laughed. “Besides if Grandad finds out and gets mad, we’ll tell him it’s Lexa’s fault.”

“Okay. Girls are gross anyway.” He made a face and dropped my hand.

Octavia chuckled. “I don’t think you’re going to last long with us if that’s your opinion!”

“Well that’s my cue I guess.” I laughed.

****

I returned to the fire a few minutes later. The boys were all laughing, even Octavia who I hadn’t seen smile in what felt like forever. Lexa looked like she was acting something out.

“What’s so funny?” I asked as I sat down.

Lexa looked up, startled. “Griffin! I didn’t hear you!”

“I can see that. So what’s so funny?”

“Lexa is talking about finding the girl in the bathroom.” The boy replied.

My eyes flew to Octavia. She smiled and shrugged. “I know she hasn’t been gone for very long Clarke. But still, that whole series of events leading up to finding her was kind of funny.”

“I’m happy to see you smile.” I put my hand on her shoulder. “It’s been a while.”

“So, how was the view in the restroom tonight Griffin?” Lexa asked as she settled back into her spot by the fire.

“Fabulous Woods.”

The boy looked from me to Lexa and then back again. “Is your name Clarke or Griffin?”

“Clarke.”

“Then why does Lexa keep calling you Griffin?” He asked.

“It’s my last name and Lexa likes to annoy me.” I shot a look at Lexa who smiled and shrugged.

“Clarke is a boy name.” Said the little boy.

“Oh?” I tried to look serious as I asked, “Are you sure?”

“I have an uncle named Clark. He’s a boy. You’re not.” He spoke matter-of-factly, the way only a child could.

I nodded solemnly. “That is true. I am not a boy.”

“Then why do you have a boy name?” He asked.

I shrugged again. “It’s the name my parents gave me.”

He opened his mouth right away, then snapped it shut, like he hadn’t thought of his next question. After a moment or two he asked, “Lexa said you have sisters. And a brother. Do they have weird names too?”

“Yes.” I nodded my head.

“Why?” The boy made it sound almost like he thought I’d done something wrong by having a weird name.

I shook my head and held my hands up in surrender. “It’s complicated.”

Lexa raised her hand. “I’ve actually been wondering the same thing Griffin. Explain it to us and if he doesn’t get it, I’ll explain it to him.”

Raven and Octavia both groaned. As my cousin and my best friend, they of course knew the story behind the unique names of my sisters and myself. Instead of staying around for my explanation they excused themselves and went to check the area around camp. 

“Well, when my parents got married and Mom was pregnant with their first child, Dad wanted his kids to have unique names. They decided we would use old family names, but not first names, because that would make sense.” I explained as simply as I could but it was pretty easy to see the boy was confused.

“Mom and Dad were told their first child would be a boy so they had a name picked out for a boy. They chose Anderson. Then my eldest sister was born. Since they didn’t have any girl names ready Dad pulled out the list of names they’d written down and the first name he saw was ‘Vaughn’. He told Mom my sister felt like a Vaughn. I guess they didn’t think it’d be fair if Bennet and I had normal names after Vaughn was stuck with her name.”

“What are your sister’s names?” The boy asked.

“Vaughn and Bennet.”

“That’s two sisters. And with you that's three. That’s a lot of girls.” The boy’s eyes were huge, like he couldn’t believe it was possible to have that many sisters.

“I know. My poor baby brother has three older sisters.”

“What’s his name?” The boy perked up at the mention of another boy.

“Jacob.” Lexa replied. I was surprised she remembered my brother’s name. I only remembered mentioning him a couple of times. “And I have a little brother named Gustus.”

“My sisters and I got to name our brother.” I nodded. “Mom and Dad gave us the list of names they’d written when Mom was pregnant with Vaughn. We decided to name him after Dad instead.”

The boy nodded slowly. “So Clarke can be a girl name too?”

“Any name can be a girl name and any name can be a boy name.”

We chatted about names for a little longer, trying to think of names that should only be girl names or boy names. The boy was convinced his name was only for boys.

“What’s your name then?” Lexa asked.

“Aden Alexander Kincaid the fifth.” He said proudly. “Only boy names. My family calls me AJ.”

“How about we call you Aden?” Lexa asked. “Since your grandfather and dad aren’t around for us to get you guys mixed up right now.”

“Yeah!” Aden jumped up excitedly. “Do your friends call you Lexa? Or does your family.”

“My friends and my family call me Lexa. I don’t answer to anything else.”

“Okay. I like you Lexa. You’re my friend.” Aden yawned.

I stood then and motioned for Lexa to pick up the boy. “I thought girl’s are gross?”

“He’ll regret that statement in a few years.” Lexa picked the child up.

“I’m sure he will.” I held the door to the bird watching station open and helped Lexa get Aden into his sleeping bag. Lexa stood and headed back out the door. “Woods, will you make sure all our stuff is brought in here and set up a watch rotation? I don’t like not knowing where Costia is.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crazy Costia makes another appearance. Clarke has to try to figure out if Lexa is mad at her as a result.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another trigger warning. Look for the ~~~~ to know when the scene begins and ends. This time I'm certain you'll be able to figure out what happened if you skip it...
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I'm fairly certain I've fixed the pronoun issues. In case you're confused, Luke and Aden are the only males in the group. If I missed a pronoun or two, your might see Octavia, Raven, or Lexa referred to with male pronouns. That's because in the original story I wrote, those characters are male. I've tried to fix those errors but honestly, I make no promises. If you see an error, please don't hesitate to let me know!
> 
> Comments and kudos are welcome as always!

It didn’t take long to figure out that Aden was a happy and curious kid. He liked to explore and he was always eager to help. Still, he did slow our progress down. Finally, after five days of feeling like we were taking two steps forward and one step back, Lexa decided to try putting Aden up on her shoulders. The child was perfectly content to sit on any of our shoulders for hours. Even with the added weight, we started to pick up the pace again.

Thankfully Octavia came across a wagon that appeared to be meant for the trails. It had thick wheels that handled all the bumps like a dream compared to Ophelia’s wheelchair. Aden thanked Octavia over and over for at least an hour after she brought the wagon back to camp. It slowed us down again, but not by much, and it made Aden so happy we dealt with it.

A week after we’d taken Aden from his grandfather, we decided to take a mental health day. We’d been walking for weeks. We needed to restock and try to figure out where we were. We’d already walked around Pittsburgh. If my crude calculations were accurate, we were pretty close to the Ohio border. I tried to estimate how much further we had to go but it was impossible.

Sometime in the afternoon on our rest day Raven came running back into camp with a map. “We’re only a couple of miles from Ohio!”

“How do you know?” Lexa asked.

“There’s family in the town. They gave me a map.” Raven handed the map to me and pointed out the town. It was only a few miles from the border according to the scale on the legend.

“We could be home in a matter of weeks!” Raven picked me up and danced me around.

When she put me down, Aden ran to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “Are we almost there?”

“We’re closer than we thought we were.” I hugged the boy.

Octavia came up from the creek with a few fish on a line. “What’s all the excitement?”

“We’re almost to Ohio!” I hugged her hard. She held me tightly and pressed her face into my shoulder. “It’s amazing how much being close to Ohio almost feels like being home.”

We celebrated by drinking some pop. It was like our champagne. We each went about our chores and prepared dinner that night. I even took my turn at cleaning the fish without complaining.

****

Later, after we had eaten and settled Aden into our tent, Raven came to find me while I was on watch.

“There’s something else Clarke.”

“Oh? Did you find a working flashlight?” I asked, sighing at the thought. “I’d love a working flashlight. I just want to be able to read myself to sleep again.”

Raven shook her head. “They’re following us.”

I wish it had been necessary for her to explain who she was talking about. “I kind of figured. There’s too much of our stuff coming up missing.”

“I thought you’d like to know. I don’t think there’s anything we can do about it. Other than shooting at them.” Raven stood and yawned. “I’d like to avoid that if it’s possible though.”

“Well, I know I’ve let Harper take some things.” I replied. “Never Costia or Luke though. Not after the way they acted at the store. But I can’t let Harper suffer because of them.”

“I’ve let her take things too. But we can’t keep supporting both groups if they aren’t going to help us. Six extra legs to help tow Aden around would be amazing.”

“We could stay here.” I shrugged. “At least for a little while. Luke would eventually force them to move on.”

Raven patted me on my head, smiling when I slapped her hand away. She gave me a playful push before walking to her tent. She stretched and crawled inside. She threw a dying glow stick at my head before zipping the flap closed.

The glow stick was great and all but I hadn’t been joking about the flashlight. I hated keeping watch when I couldn’t see more than a few feet in front of me. And I hated that I couldn’t read myself into a peaceful sleep. I seemed to draw the long guard duties on nights the moon was either hidden behind clouds or a sliver in the sky so there was never enough light to read by. That night there was a bright waning moon but there were clouds all over the sky.

~~~~

The moment Costia entered camp I tensed. She was never what anyone would call stealthy. I’d known the others were sneaking into our camp from the first night. It had been Costia that night too. Harper and Luke were both able to move about more quietly. I only knew Harper was around when she approached me to tell me what she was taking. Usually she had something to offer in trade. She’d even traded me a couple of the knives she and Costia had taken from the man’s truck back in D.C.

I watched Costia from the shadows as she looked through our packs. She only had her messenger bag with her so she couldn’t take much. I made a show of moving around so she wouldn’t realize I’d caught her. I hated the choice she and Luke made but, like I’d told Raven, I didn’t want them to suffer. I definitely didn’t want Harper to suffer. It wasn’t her fault she was always following Costia. Peer pressure was more powerful than most would admit.

I honestly hadn’t realized I’d dropped my guard. One minute I was watching the limited moonlight playing on the creek near our camp and the next I was suspended in the air over the shallow water. Somehow, I’d lost my rifle during my fall. It was impossible to see the dark metal in the water.

“I have got to stop letting water distract me.” I muttered to myself as I sat up in the knee-deep water. I looked up the embankment to see Costia standing over me like she was Peter Pan, hands on her hips and head held at a cocky angle.

“Clarke.” She sneered. There was so much contempt in those two syllables.

“Can I help you Costia?” I asked. I stood and started pulling myself up the little hill of mud.

Before I could get a good grip on a low hanging branch, she slashed at me with a knife, the one with the long blade she’d taken from the man’s truck. Harper had offered it as a trade for some pears a few nights before. Costia must have found it in my pack.

“Whoa! Calm down.” I jumped back into the creek and held my hands up in front of me. Normally I wouldn’t have been worried about an angry Costia, but angry Costia waving a knife around while I didn’t have any way to defend myself was a different story. The image of her stabbing the girl in the bed came to mind. In my irritation over her reaction to Aden I’d forgotten to be afraid of Costia.

I glanced behind me at the other bank. It was almost completely vertical and the top was even with my forehead, maybe a little taller. There was no way I was going to make it up that. The bank Costia stood on was about chest height and angled, much easier to climb out that way. As long as I could avoid the crazy girl wielding the eight inch blade.

“I’ll make it fast Clarke,” she practically cooed at me. “I promise.”

I tried to be subtle as I looked around, trying to find anything I could use to defend myself. The water that reached half way up my calves wasn’t helping. It was not only freezing but it hid any sort of weapon from sight. “You’ll make what fast?”

“I’ll make it look like an animal did it.” Costia tapped the blade against her thigh. “They’ll welcome us back then. Lexa will welcome me back.”

“Costia, what are you talking about?” I sighed. I had a fairly good idea what she was talking about but never in a million years did I think she’d follow through.

“Your death Clarke. I promise to look super upset when they tell me.” She faked a frown, her eyes convincingly filled with tears.

I tried running away from her, attempting to get enough space between us so I could make my way up the embankment. She was either a lot faster than I’d realized or the water was slowing me down. Either way, she was on me before I was halfway up the muddy slope. She missed the first few times she hacked at my head but then her knife caught me on the cheekbone under my right eye. I could feel the blade slice through my skin, leaving a cut that was at least a few inches long. I jumped back and fell in the creek again. In the days of hospitals, the cut would almost certainly have needed stitches.

“Are you crazy?” Sitting in the cold water I pressed the sleeve of my shirt against the cut in an attempt to stop the bleeding. “I’m trying really hard to not hold this against you Costia, but if you keep waving that knife at me I’m going to start getting offended. And then I’m going to hurt you.”

She smiled and slowly slid down the embankment. It shouldn’t have been possible for anyone to look that graceful while sliding down a short muddy hill. “I just want to be safe. You think Luke can keep me safe? Please.”

“You chose to leave the group. I didn’t force you out.” I argued. I found my feet and started backing away from her. I didn’t know the creek at all so I had to keep glancing over my shoulder to make sure she wasn’t pushing me into a bend, somewhere she could corner me. “You could choose to come back. You know I’d welcome Luke and Harper back anyway, you’d be part of the deal.”

“No. First I get rid of you. Then in a couple of days or maybe a week something happens to the kid. Then the rest of us will be able to make great time and be home before long.”

I stopped backing up. I couldn’t believe that was her plan. It had probably only taken her six hundred and thirty-four to figure it out. “You can’t honestly think Octavia won’t figure you out if you do something to me and something happens to Aden. Do you think Raven will let you get away with it?”

“Lexa will keep me safe.”

I shook my head. She was crazy. I guess it was understandable given the stress of this new world but still she was beyond crazy. Crazy was dangerous. Bubbe told me that once, one of the only times she talked to me about her experiences. Crazy gets people hurt, crazy gets people caught, and crazy gets people killed.

Before I could try to talk her down again, there was a rustle in the bush next to me. Suddenly a man jumped out of the undergrowth landing in the stream between Costia and me. He glanced over his shoulder and smiled at me. Even through the darkness of the night I recognized him, he was the lawyer dad, the man I’d warned the first day in D.C.

“Tris.” His daughter’s head popped up from behind the bushes like a little gopher. “Go find the boy and keep him safe.”

The little girl nodded once and took off running.

“Now then.” He rubbed his hands together and then held them up in front of him. “What seems to be the issue ladies?”

“She’s trying to kill me.” I waved a hand at Costia. I hoped I appeared calmer than I felt. “Did you not see the flailing? Or the…” unable to come up with a description, I mimicked Costia’s wild movements with the knife.

“She’s in my way.” Costia responded.

I held my hands up. “I’m standing in a creek. I’m not in anybody’s way!”

The muscles in Costia’s jaw popped out. She must have been grinding her teeth together. “You always were good at playing dense Clarke.”

“I’m not playing!” I shouted.

The man moved closer to Costia and tried to calm her down. I immediately started backing away. I didn’t know what he was saying to her but I could tell by the tone of his voice he was used to this kind of situation somehow.

Out of nowhere Costia shook her head and shoved the man. He stumbled back and fell into the water. Without thinking I moved to help the man up.

I almost cursed my family for raising me with manners when I felt the knife press against my throat. In my instinct to help the man up I’d let Costia get behind me.

“Costia.” I whispered. She pressed the blade harder against my neck. “Costia, you don’t have to do this.”

“I say I do.” She snarled in my ear.

“No.” I tried not to swallow. Of course, as soon as that thought crossed my mind my mouth flooded with saliva. I tried not to breathe and soon found my chest aching with the need for oxygen. “I’ll take Aden and Raven and we’ll go. Octavia may want to come too. But Lexa will stay with you.”

“No. She’ll take your side again.” She whined. “She always takes your side.”

“I’ll make sure she doesn’t.”

“No.” She pressed harder. I could feel the knife slowly slicing into my neck. The blood was soon running down to my chest and soaking my shirt.

The man was on his feet again in front of me. I could tell by the look on his face that he didn’t like the change in circumstances. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Costia. It is Costia right?”

“Go away. You don’t need to be here for this.” She snapped.

He moved a little closer. He held his open hands as far out in front of him as he could. “I do need to be here. She saved my life. She saved my daughter’s life.”

“Because she meddles.” Costia replied. “She’s always been a pest.”

The man glanced over my head. He shook his head in a motion so small I thought I’d imagined it. “Then let her go. She’ll get the boy and go. She told you she would. I’ll take her with me right now. No one will have to know this happened.”

“No. They won’t ask me to come back.”

“They might though. If she’s gone they’ll need more people. They’ll need the numbers.” He replied, his voice smooth and calm.

“No!” Costia yelled again. She tightened her grip on my shirt. “She’s always in the way. She’ll get in my way again.”

The man took another small step forward. He studied the way Costia was holding me. I think he studied the look in Costia’s eyes too. All of sudden he dropped his arms. “Fine. Then do it. Kill her.”

“Excuse me?” I replied. I couldn’t believe what I’d heard.

“This creek is cold. I don’t want to stand in it all night. Can we get a move on please?” He moved his hand in a circle, telling Costia to hurry.

Costia nodded and started to press the knife against my throat again.

“What are you doing? I thought you were going to make it look like an animal did it.” The man shook his head and sighed. I could only hope he was trying to distract Costia. Otherwise his critiques were going to seriously tick her off. “Animals don’t cut throats.”

Costia nodded. “Right. I knew that.”

While the man was talking to Costia I tried to think of a way out. I didn’t have many options on where and how to dodge. As I was preparing for the pain I knew was coming I heard Lexa shouting at me. “Get down Clarke! Get down!”

I dropped all my weight, turning my head to the side and pressing as close to Costia as I could. She wasn’t prepared for that. She had to let me go so she could remain upright. The pressure from the knife let up, thankfully, so there was a slight slicing feeling from the blade as I fell.

I cleared the water and hair from my eyes and turned to look for Costia. I was sure she’d be on top of me. Instead, she was facing Lexa. She had Costia by the shoulders and she was shaking her hard.

My instincts kicked in. I saw the knife in Costia’s hand and dove for it. She didn’t even fight me for control. Maybe she was shocked that someone was shaking her, maybe Lexa was actually able to break through her haze of crazy. I didn’t care. I jumped to my feet and buried the knife to its hilt in her back at an upward angle.

The man grabbed me by the back of my shirt and yanked. He settled me on the embankment and pressed my hand to my neck, ordering me to keep pressure there. Then he ran to Lexa and Costia. He helped Lexa lower her to her side on the embankment a little ways from me and looked at the knife sticking out of her back. I wished they hadn’t positioned her so she was facing me. I watched as her mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. Her eyes filled with tears as she stared at me. The man put a couple of fingers to Costia’s throat. After a few seconds he shook his head.

~~~~

“You must have gotten her heart.” The man glanced at me and he put a hand on Lexa’s shoulder. “There’s nothing I can do.”

Lexa shook his hand off. She reached down into the water and rinsed her hands then pulled herself up the embankment.

Minutes later Raven and Octavia were on either side of me, helping me back to camp. Lexa had the two children on the far side of the fire. Octavia moved my hand off my neck and applied pressure herself. She was holding a chunk of moss to the cut, trying to stop the bleeding with the only thing she could find. Raven immediately started pouring water over my hands, rinsing the blood away as quickly as she could. She looked up into my face once and shook her head before she started to softly sing a lullaby Bubbe used to croon to us.

The man walked into camp a couple minutes later. He tossed his pack down and pulled a small case out of it. He helped me move closer to the fire and started poking at my wounds. He pulled a needle and some thread out of his case.

“This is going to hurt like hell kid.” He poured alcohol over the needle. Then he poured something on the cut across my cheek.

I screamed, snapping my mouth shut when I felt the cut on my neck pull.

“Octavia, take Aden to the creek. Keep him busy.” I whispered, afraid of what would happen if I stressed the slice in my neck. I knew I was going to be crying soon.

“Take Tris too. She’ll help distract the boy.” The man added as he threaded the needle.

As soon as Octavia and the kids were gone Raven grabbed one of my hands. I reached to hold onto her with my other hand but Lexa stopped me. She grabbed my hand and held it with both of hers. Her eyes met mine for a heartbeat. She shook her head and turned to stare at the fire. I didn’t even know what question she’d seen in my eyes.

“Right. Bite down on this.” The man held out his belt for me to take. “Like I said, this is going to hurt. If you feel like you’re about to pass out, don’t fight it. It’ll be better for all of us. We’ve still got your neck to take care of too. You’re in for a world of pain.”

I barely made it through the pain of him pouring the disinfectant on my cheek again. I didn’t even make it through the first stitch. I’d never been afraid of pain before. I’d always seen it as my body fighting weakness. Then again, nobody had ever tried to cut my throat before.

****

I woke up the next morning to the sun shining in my eyes. Someone had fashioned a hammock for me to sleep on complete with a mosquito net to keep the bugs away from me. I tried not to move. I didn’t know how much pain I’d be in if I tried.

The man spoke from beside the fire. “You can move. It’s fine.”

I nodded then winced at the pinch of my stiches.

“I said you could move but maybe try not to move your head.” He chuckled. “You’ll have to keep those in for at least a few days. Those cuts weren’t too bad. You should think of the stitches as more of a precaution than a necessity. And yes, you can talk. I would not recommend yelling though.”

“Thank you.” I whispered.

He motioned to the log next to him. “You’re welcome. Thank you for the warning back in the capitol. You’re going to have scars Clarke. I’m sorry about that. I was never interested in the plastic surgery stuff. I’ve always been more of a trauma guy.”

I smiled weakly at his apology. What was one more scar anyway? I moved to sit next to the fire. I sank down slowly, feeling for the seat with my fingers so I didn’t have to move my head. The man had a pot filled with oatmeal cooking. He smiled when my stomach growled and scooped out a healthy amount into a mug for me.

After taking a bite, I glanced over at him. “How?”

“How did we find you?” He smiled when I tried to nod. “I told you not to do that.”

Lexa came into view then. She must have been down by the creek. She had some fish on a line and my rifle in her hands. She was also covered in mud. Raven and Octavia were right behind her. They were covered in mud too.

Costia. They must have buried Costia. I looked away. Was I a murderer? It was self-defense. How was I supposed to deal with that? How was Lexa? I’d killed her girlfriend, or her ex-girlfriend or whatever she was, while she’d been talking to her.

Lexa walked over to me and leaned my freshly cleaned rifle against the log. At first, she wouldn’t meet my eyes. When she did, all I could see was anger. I had to look away. I didn’t need her to be angry with me over Costia. I didn’t want to feel guilty for trying to survive. As I turned away from her I realized there was another tent in camp. Luke was sitting in the opening. He offered me a half-hearted wave when he saw me staring at him. Octavia crouched down next to him and started whispering.

I glanced back at the man and asked again, “How?”

“We followed you from the start. The dead man with the truck supplied us with some clothes and supplies. And guns.” The man laughed. “He had an arsenal unlike any other in that truck. Oh, I’m Nyko by the way. Well, Dr. Nicholas Baum. You’ve already met my daughter Tris.”

I shook his hand. I smiled at Tris as she ran by with Aden. They seemed to be playing a game. “You followed us? Why? How?”

“You seemed to know where you were going. And I’m good at tracking. I grew up in Iowa. Then served in the Marines. They paid for medical school. I was on my way to an interview when you stopped us.”

“So you were following us when Dawson and Ritchie’s friends attacked us?” Raven asked from her seat outside her tent. “When heath was trying to cut my skin from my rib cage? Did you see her doing that?”

Nyko stared at the fire. “I didn’t see all of it.”

“So you followed us but didn’t offer help when we needed it.” Lexa said as she approached the fire.

“You didn’t need help.” Nyko replied quickly. “You obviously took care of the threat that night.”

I stiffened at his callous description. “My cousin and I had to kill people that night. Maybe if we would have had an adult with us those people wouldn’t have approached the camp in the first place.”

“I guess we’ll never know if that’s true.” Nyko replied. “I’m not sorry. I was protecting Tris.”

Lexa sat down across from me, still not looking at me. “Are you going to come with us now?”

“No. I like it better when it’s only Tris and me. But we’ll stay close in case you need help.” The doctor sipped on something that smelled like coffee. He must have seen my curious look. “The boy’s grandfather gave us supplies too. He wasn’t looking well but he wouldn’t let me help.”

“Most old people don’t look well most of the time Nyko.” Raven helped herself to a bite of my oatmeal before sitting next to Lexa.

“Don’t let Aden hear you say that.” I said. “He hopes Grandad will come for him soon.”

“Speaking of Aden,” Nyko replied thoughtfully, “I think maybe you ought to let me take him with me.”

“No.” I said before taking another bite of the first hot breakfast I’d had in weeks.

“Clarke.” Nyko sighed like my dad would sigh when he knew he was in for a long argument.

“Don’t ‘Clarke’ me. You’re not taking him.” I tried to speak louder but my neck immediately began to ache.

“You don’t know the first thing about taking care of a small child.”

“You don’t know the first thing about me. I said no.”

“Clarke, please consider the boy’s well-being. If I take him with me, he’ll be with a doctor. He’ll be safe.”

Lexa moved so she was standing behind me. A surprising move considering the anger I’d seen in her eyes. She put both hands on my shoulders and squeezed. I ignored the pull at my stitches her hands caused. “She said no. I say no. The kid is staying with us.”

“Your camp was raided the night before you took that boy in. You yourself killed a young man that night.” Nyko stared at me. At my surprised look he explained, “I ran into Dawson and Richie. They told me what happened. How you and Raven killed their friends.”

“They were trying to hurt us.” I replied. “I’m not explaining beyond that. I don’t have to defend myself to you.”

“You were raided that night and last night but you think you can take care of Aden and keep him safe?”

“He’s staying.” Lexa bit out. “That’s our decision.”

“We don’t know you.” I added.

“I’m a doctor.”

“You’re a stranger who decided to follow a group of teenagers into the woods because one of them got cryptic with you.” Raven rolled her eyes.

Nyko studied Lexa and me in turn. Finally he sighed and held his hands up. “Alright. I had to try. So we’ll keep close in case you need me.”

“With Griffin around, I’m sure we’ll need you soon.” Lexa replied.

The doctor stood and gathered his supplies. “If you need anything, you only need to yell. Not Clarke, you other kids. Don’t let her yell. We’ll come running. I’ve already told Tris her job is to find Aden and make sure he stays safe.”

Nyko and Tris were gone within minutes.

The others followed their example and cleaned up camp while I rested. It seemed like every movement I made pulled at the stitches. I was trying to figure out how to help when Harper sat down next to me.

“I’m sorry.” She said quietly.

“For what?”

“She made us take those things.”

“You traded stuff. You didn’t take anything.” I said, patting her knee gently. “That’s how she was. She was used to be being in charge and having her way.”

“I know you think I’m weak for following her.”

“I think you did what you’ve always done. I don’t hate you for it. I’m not even mad at you about it. But now you’ll have to think for yourself.”

Harper looked around as she spoke. While she was looking away from me she reached over and took my hand. “Costia thought I was stupid. I let her think that. It was more about surviving high school than it was about being her friend.”

My eyes widened and I returned the pressure on her hand. “You knew she was crazy.”

“I knew she was mean and in many ways that she was weak. But she was the one everyone chose to make popular. I like to think I’d have come into my own in college. I’d rise and she’d fall.”

“That’s definitely what would have happened.” I squeezed her hand again. When she finally looked at me I smiled as much as the stitches in my cheek would allow. “Truce?”

“Friends.” Harper shook my hand before walking away to join Raven by her tent.

Luke came over and crouched next to me. “Clarke.”

“Luke.”

He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry about… you know.”

“Storming off like a child when you didn’t get your way?”

“Yeah.” He stiffened. “That.”

“I don’t like bratty kids Luke.”

“I understand.”

We were on the trail and walking shortly after that. None of us wanted to be near that place any longer than necessary. I would have sprinted down the trail if I thought my stitches could handle the strain.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally make it to Ohio!

We were over the border and into our home state within hours. There was something about being in Ohio that made us walk a little faster. We knew we were still weeks away from being home but each quick step we took was one step closer, one less step we’d have to take later.

We passed Steubenville in the middle of the afternoon. It looked like someone, whether it was the citizens there or the military we didn’t know, had attempted to fortify the city. I didn’t understand that. Humans couldn’t fortify against pathogens. It only took one sick person to doom the rest. I remembered stories, both from history class and family legends, about the village my dad’s family came from in England. The people of Eyam had voluntarily quarantined themselves during the Great Plague. They wouldn’t let anyone in or out of the village. They’d even posted guards to make sure no one broke the quarantine. They lost many of the villagers but not all. I wondered if that was what Steubenville was trying to do. Ride out the Angolan Flu in a self-induced quarantine.

Once we made it around the city we set up camp. Octavia took first watch. I tried to volunteer but none of the others wanted me on guard duty while I had my stitches since I wasn’t supposed to yell. Lexa couldn’t seem to fight the smile as she reminded everyone of Nyko’s orders.

I woke in the middle of the night. I’d been having a nightmare but I couldn’t remember much of it. Other than the knife. That was enough to freak me out. I smiled when I felt Aden snuggled against my side. I stretched and tried to get comfortable again. It was impossible. I was thirsty for the first time since Costia’s attack. I’d avoided drinking as much as possible because I was convinced my stitches would rip out.

After extracting myself from Aden I crawled from the tent. Walking to the low fire I found a bottle of water and took a long drink from it. It made me miss milk. Nothing satisfied thirst quite like milk.

As I was thinking about milk and cheese and the numerous dairy products I’d probably never consume again I heard a hushed conversation. When I moved toward the voices I realized I could also hear the unmistakable sound of kissing.

My mind raced. Who could be kissing? Luke and… which one of the girls? Harper? Raven? Octavia?

I replayed the walk from the day in my mind. I couldn’t remember seeing anybody flirting. I’d been a little distracted by the whole not being able to move my head thing but I was certain I hadn’t seen anything that would lead to kissing.

Rounding a tree I saw Octavia and Raven wrapped around each other. Raven and Octavia. I couldn’t believe it. How had I not known?

“What’s going on?” I whispered.

They jumped apart. Octavia looked over her shoulder at me. Her apology was written all over her face. “Clarke, it’s not what you think.”

“It’s not what I think?” Of all the things to find out when I couldn’t yell, figuring out my cousin was hooking up with my best friend was definitely near the top of the list for surprises I’d like to scream about.

“You can’t tell anyone Clarke.” Raven said.

Octavia turned to stare at her. “Seriously? It’s the end of the world and you’re still worried about people knowing?”

“Octavia.” Raven sighed. “You know how I feel about this.”

I couldn’t believe the conversation I was hearing. “You’ve talked about this before.”

“Of course we have.” Raven snapped. Se wouldn’t even look at me. “We’ve been dating for a few months now.”

“A few months?” I raised a brow as I turned to Octavia, silently demanding an explanation.

She shrugged. “Her parents don’t want her dating.”

“So you both felt like you had to hide this from me? When have you either of you ever had to hide something from me?”

“No! Griff, it wasn’t like that.” Octavia stood and walked to me. “We’re just… we’re not ready.”

“Not ready to what? Acknowledge each other? If you’re that ashamed of your relationship that’s not my problem.” I turned and walked away. I stopped after a couple of steps and turned back to face Raven. “I get why Octavia would be concerned about telling me, but not you. I came out to you years ago. What did you think I was going to say?”

“Clarke!” Octavia called after me.

I ignored her yells. I didn’t want to hear anything she had to say. Suddenly a hand shot out of Luke’s tent and caught my ankle. I shrieked and fell to the ground.

“Calm down Griffin.” Lexa laughed.

“What do you want?” I snapped, not at all thrilled with being scared witless just after finding out about Octavia and Raven.

“I heard your little argument with the girls.” She shrugged. “I thought you could use an ear.”

“I don’t.”

“You sure about that? You seem pretty upset.”

I shook my head, refusing to give in to the urge to forget about my stitches and scream. “I’m fine. Just… I don’t know. Angry. And shocked.”

Luke’s head popped up over Lexa’s shoulder. “Finding out someone is gay can be a huge thing.”

“I know. I found that out when I was fourteen. I think my dad’s still getting over the heart attack.” I replied.

“My dad thought I was going to tell him I was pregnant when I was trying to come out to him. I was twelve.” Lexa laughed, finally easing her grip on my ankle. I hadn’t even realized she still hand a hold of it until I felt her thumb smooth over my skin a few times before her hand drew away completely.

“Dads are dads.” I said. “I’m going back to bed now.”

“Are you okay?” Luke asked.

“I’ll be fine.”

I kept walking until I was back in my tent and snuggled with Aden. A couple minutes later Harper crawled into the tent with her sleeping bag.

“Turns out I don’t like sleeping alone anymore.” She sighed.

Silence fell inside the tent. We could barely hear Octavia and Raven arguing. Harper turned her head and looked at me.

“So you found out then?”

“You knew?” I gaped at her.

I felt her shoulders shift in a shrug. “I didn’t know but I suspected. They always seemed to gravitate to one another. I thought you suspected too.”

“I didn’t.”

“Oh,” after a long pause, like she was thinking hard about something, she spoke again, “The next time I suspect your cousin and your best friend are dating, would you like me to tell you?”

“I only have one best friend but if this kind of thing happens again, yes. Please tell me when I’m missing the obvious.”

Suddenly the atmosphere in the tent felt more like a slumber party. Harper and I stayed up later than we should have and talked about boys we had liked growing up. That conversation took a fun little turn when she admitted she had a crush on a boy back home name Monty. I knew Monty from the parties he and his best friend would host. All I could think to tell her was that she could do a lot worse. Not overly supportive on my part, but her confession took me by surprise.

As we were drifting off to sleep Harper whispered into the night, “It’s okay to like her you know. You could do much worse.”

****

We moved on from Steubenville the next day. We made good time over the next few days. I ignored both Octavia and Raven unless they had something to say that was pertinent to our survival. Which, thankfully, was surprisingly little. We’d become a well-oiled machine of keeping watch and stopping at places as a group without much talking. Then we stopped outside a random small town so Harper, Raven, and Luke could go on a supply run.

Harper and Raven came back first. They said Luke had seen something and gone to check it out while they carried all the water and food they’d found back to camp.

Luke didn’t return until the sun was almost down. He was carrying a large boxer puppy. Without a word he walked up to me and placed the puppy in my lap. Then he placed a small bag of puppy food on the ground next to me. Only weeks before he’d left our group in a temper tantrum because I wanted to take in a boy who was practically orphaned but he felt perfectly okay with giving me a puppy. If the boy slowed us down a little the puppy would slow us down a lot. Not to mention, we’d need a lot more food than what he’d found.

“A puppy?” Aden squealed when he saw it. “Can we keep it?”

“I don’t know Aden, I’ll think about it.” I handed him the puppy. Now that the kid had seen it there was nothing we could do but keep it.

I turned to say something to Luke. He smiled and handed me a bag full of collars, one for each stage of the puppy’s life plus a few extras.

“I’m sorry Clarke. I can be an ass when it comes to protecting myself. I forget to remember other people.”

“Protecting yourself from what?”

Luke snorted a laugh. “Sometimes I think I’m protecting myself from everything and everyone.”

“Just don’t mess up again Luke.” I sighed. “And could you see if you can find Nyko? I want these stitches out.”

****

Luke and Nyko strolled into camp a little later. Tris was off like a rocket when she saw Aden carrying the puppy around.

Nyko settled onto the log next to me and turned me so he could study the stitches. “They should stay in for another day at least Clarke.”

“No. I’m tired of them. I’ll be careful about moving my head and yelling.” I said. He stared at me like he was waiting for something. “I promise!”

“Well as long as you promise to be careful about yelling.” Nyko rolled his eyes.

While Nyko went to work on my stitches the others gathered around the fire to share stories from the day. Harper was on watch so every once in a while, when she wandered into camp, we’d hear her giggle at something Raven or Lexa said.

As the last of the stitches was pulled free Luke was talking about his run. He’d seen a little girl walking slowly down the street. He ran after her but when he reached her, she collapsed on the pavement. She cried a little and then stopped breathing. Luke covered her with a tarp he found nearby. He tried to see if there were any other people in the town but they were either hiding or they were too sick to answer his calls for help. He’d been on his way back to camp when the yipping from the puppy had caught his attention.

“He was in a pet store. I didn’t see anything else alive.” Luke shivered. “I broke the window and took him.”

“What’s his name?” Tris asked from her seat on Lexa’s lap.

I shrugged and smiled at Aden who was sitting with Raven. “I don’t know. What do you think Aden?”

“Well, I’ve never had a puppy before…” he looked over at Lexa, asking for help.

“What about Tank?” Nyko suggested. “He’s going to be one so you might as well embrace it.”

“Tank?” Aden turned the puppy around to study him. The puppy wiggled in his arms and licked his nose. “I think he likes it.”

I smiled, “Tank it is then. Now Tank and Aden need to get in the tent and go to sleep.”

The boy argued with me only a little less than the puppy did. I finally got them settled down and snoozing after snuggling with them and telling Aden a story.

I took my turn on watch that night. It was the first time since Costia’s attack. Every little noise made me jump. I knew she was gone but that didn’t mean someone else couldn’t sneak up on me.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone in the group falls ill again. Clarke and Octavia finally talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like every chapter has a trigger warning. Here's the one for this chapter. There is a death. Nothing super graphic or anything but it happens. Look for the usual ~~~~ to know.
> 
> I feel like trigger warnings are sort of like necessary spoilers. Just me?
> 
> Also, I missed my flight today. Had to pay to switch my ticket. All because my family reuses to come to Ohio to celebrate Christmas anymore and I worked 18 hours yesterday. I love my family though, so off to the airport I go now...
> 
> Comments and kudos are, of course, welcome as always.

Tank slowed us down much more than I’d anticipated. He didn’t like to be carried and he wasn’t leash trained so walking with him was not an easy task. By mid-afternoon of the second day with the puppy I’d given up and practically banished both Aden and Tank in the wagon. I gave Aden strict orders to not let him out of the wagon. Of course with the boy and the puppy in the wagon I had to wear my pack, which pulled on my barely healed neck.

I think the others knew I was hurting because we stopped to make camp on a cliff overlooking a lake well before dusk. It was one of the most beautiful scenes I’d seen on our journey. The gray cliffs dropped off into the cerulean water of the lake. The wind caught the water and little waves raced in one direction or another. It was almost like being near the ocean.

Knowing I’d been in the wrong the night before, that I shouldn’t have been so angry at Raven and Octavia for not telling me, I approached my cousin. “I’m sorry Raven.”

“You acted like a jackass.” She shrugged as she cleared a place for her tent. “I knew you’d be mad. But once we got over the shock of knowing we liked each other, O and I didn’t know how to tell anyone.”

“I get that. It’s a big deal. And I should never have tried to make it about me.” I replied. I unfolded her tent for her, watching as she straightened the poles.

“It is sort of about you. I’m your cousin. She’s your person, your best friend whatever.” Raven responded. “Just try to avoid being such an ass in the future? And maybe… don’t tell my parents?”

“I won’t say anything. Not until you tell me I can.” I hammered a stake down for her, handing the hammer off to her so she could get the last one in place.

We were so used to constantly having things to do before it got too dark that when we finished getting the tents set up and the fire was roaring we sort of stood around and stared at each other. When Raven announced she was going to go hunting I jumped at the chance to get away from Octavia for a little while. I’d talked everything out with my cousin but knowing my best friend, she wasn’t going to forgive quite to quickly.

We walked out into the forest and climbed up a tree. After what felt like hours of waiting, a deer walked right underneath our tree and into the little glen we’d been watching. Raven leveled off the rifle. I watched her finger start to squeeze the trigger then relax.

“I can’t.” She thrust the gun into my arms before she started to climb down.

I stared at the rifle like I didn’t know what it was for. “What do you mean you can’t?”

Raven started walking back to camp. “I’m so tired of canned pasta and fish I could cry. But I can’t kill Bambi. I don’t want to kill anything.”

A series of vivid memories ran through my mind. Heath’s crumbling body followed by Costia plunging her knife into the girl’s chest and concluding with an image of Costia’s blood on my hands. I wrapped her in a hug. “I know.”

Raven squeezed me once before taking a step back. “So we tell everyone there wasn’t anything worth a bullet?”

“Of course.”

~~~~

We returned to find our camp in a panic. Harper was running around looking frantic. Octavia seemed to be frozen in place, her head snapping from side to side like she didn’t know where to go first. Lexa was in the tent she shared with Luke yelling for help.

I ran to the tent and threw open the flap. Luke was in his sleeping bag, pale and wheezing.

Lexa looked up and made eye contact with me. “Not you.”

She shoved me hard enough to force me to stumble back several feet before falling onto my butt. She opened the flap when Harper approached and pulled her inside. Lexa moved to close the flap after her. She glared when she saw me still sitting outside the tent. “Go away Griffin!”

I knew Lexa was angry about what happened with Costia but I never expected her to refuse my help. She’d been pleasant enough on the trail while we’d walked. Raven and I were the only ones who’d nursed anyone back to health during this new plague. Shouldn’t Lexa want my help?

I moved and sat by the fire for a little while before realizing that Lexa wasn’t down on the shore catching fish. She was in her tent with Harper and Luke. I grabbed the fishing gear and Aden. We made our way down to the lake where we managed to catch seven decent fish. We took the fish to camp and cleaned them before roasting them over the flames. We handed everyone their plates and ate in silence. Only it wasn’t silence. Luke’s wheezing and coughing constantly broke through our dome of quietness. When Luke told us about the little girl he’d stumbled across before he’d found Tank, I hadn’t given it much thought. Like a fool, I’d decided to allow myself to think the Angolan Flu was done with my little family.

Harper and I moved our tent further away from Luke’s because Aden clamped his hands over his ears whenever Luke started coughing. It made it easier to get him to sleep if he couldn’t hear every cough and rattled breath Luke made.

The next morning Luke was worse. Lexa hardly left the tent. Harper only came out for water and whatever little bit of medicine Raven and Octavia could scrounge up. Even Nyko was at a loss. He’d seen Luke the day before and he’d been fine. The rest of us had forgotten that Nyko hadn’t seen how quickly the illness could hit a person. He hadn’t seen the beautiful and energetic Ophelia, the annoyingly smart Ophelia. He’d only seen Ophelia as she’d been in her wheelchair.

Aden and I caught fish and made up stories to pass the time that day too. We caught enough fish that it became a catch and release day. We played with Tank and tried to teach him tricks even though Raven laughingly told us he was too young to learn.

The following morning Luke was dead. His second battle with Angolan Flu hit him harder than it had hit Ophelia. We all believed that because he’d been sick before, he wouldn’t get sick again. He hadn’t even had a chance to fight it off. The weeks on the road on a rationed diet of canned food filled with preservatives and chemicals couldn’t have been good on his immune system. When we told Nyko about the little girl Luke had seen die in the street he suggested that she may have had an even more mutated strain. That meant even though Lexa, Harper and Octavia had fought off the Angolan Flu once they could get sick with it again.

~~~~

We buried Luke further down the cliff. It was a spot that reminded Lexa of a place in Ireland they’d visited as children. We didn’t have anything to make a cross with so we used stones to make one over his grave.

****

We stayed on that cliff by the lake for almost a week. Partially because we wanted to see if any one else would get sick and partially because none of us wanted to be the one who suggested we leave. Our little group was shrinking. I never imagined all of us were going to make it home but I’d hoped we would. The morbid side of me wondered who was next. By all rights, I should have gone before Luke when Costia attacked me, and Octavia before me, during the camp raid when she’d had a gun pressed to her head.

It was Lexa, her eyes were red from crying, who announced it was time we move on. Her voice shook as she spoke, “We’re only a couple of weeks away from home. We have to go sometime. This morning is as good as any.”

Silently we divvied up Luke’s pack. It was decided we’d leave his two-man tent and sleeping bag behind, rolled up and hanging from a branch on nearby tree since we had no use for them. Hopefully someone in need would find them. After one last glance toward where Luke was buried we left.

It’s impossible to say how long or how far we walked the day we left the cliffs or if we made good time. I walked and I played with Aden so he wouldn’t realize how much damage Luke’s death had done to our group.

That night Octavia took watch. I knew it was because she could be alone that way. She’d been off all day, in her own world. Silent Octavia is a sad Octavia and knowing she and I still weren’t really seeing eye-to-eye meant she had bottled up her feelings. Maybe she thought I’d tell her to suck it up or something. To forget whatever was bothering her and move on. That thought hurt me more than anything. It hurt more than finding out they’d hidden the truth from or when Costia trying to slice my neck. I thought Octavia knew me better than that. I waited until everyone else was asleep in their tents before I crawled out of mine and searched for her.

I found her sitting on a rock. Her knees were pulled to her chest. Her arms were wrapped tightly around them. Her face was pressed tightly to her knees. I sat next to her and wrapped my arm around her waist. “You can’t keep watch with your head down.”

Other than a slight stiffening of her back she didn’t acknowledge she’d heard me. I tried a few times, first joking then cajoling before I gave up.

After a while she whispered, “So you’re talking to me now?”

“Of course I am.” I replied.

She lifted her head to look at me. Her eyes were already puffy and red. “You stopped talking to me for the dumbest reason ever. I thought we weren’t going to let that happen to us. We don’t do that.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that.

“I could have used your shoulder when Luke was sick Clarke. I could have used it when we buried him.” Octavia snapped. “Seeing all that happening again, the coughing and the blood. It brought back memories I’ve been trying to forget.”

“I didn’t think you were ready to forgive me for acting like a jerk.”

“You didn’t act like a jerk Griff. You were shocked. Raven and I are pretty good at acting straight.” Octavia sniffled. “Doesn’t mean it was okay for you to be so mad over not knowing.”

I nodded even though I didn’t understand. I didn’t think Octavia needed to hear how my reaction was to think about how their relationship could affect me. “It’s fine. It was a big shock, that’s all.”

“I’m still sorry Griff.”

“I’m sorry too Octavia.” I kissed her cheek. “Never again right?”

“Right.”

I nudged her with my shoulder, “That means the next time one of my cousins is interested in you, you have to tell me even if he or she doesn’t want you to tell anyone. Harper already promised to tell me if she had suspicions but I’d like a back up.”

“Deal.”

We sat on the rock for a while. We didn’t talk, we just sat there.

Suddenly Octavia started sniffling again. “I miss her Griff.”

“I know. I miss her too.” I didn’t even bother to try to hide the tears. “Who’d have ever thought I’d miss Ophelia this much?”

“What if my family is dead? What if there isn’t anyone left when we get home?”

“Then you’ll still have me. And together we’ll manage.”

We cried together. There hadn’t been time before that night to mourn Ophelia’s passing. Not really. So many things had happened between Ophelia’s death and Luke’s death. We’d survived the illness, the girl in the bed, the killing of two men, the adoption of a little boy, not to mention my own uncomfortably close call with death. None of it allowed for the grieving process to happen. It had all been building for weeks. It felt good to finally let the sorrow go.

Finally, when my head was aching from all the crying, Octavia dipped her hand into the river and handed me a cool handkerchief so I could wipe my face. I sniffled for a while and listened to Octavia talk about the beginning of her relationship with Raven. She’d actually told Ophelia all about her relationship. She helped her get around their parents so she could see her. After her voice faded into silence, I leaned over and rested my head on her shoulder.

“Clarke,” she said quietly. “Why didn’t you tell me about the girl you and Costia found?”

I stiffened and closed my eyes tightly. With all the emotions I’d just gone through the last thing I wanted to think about was that girl. “Octavia…”

“I can’t figure out why Griff. You didn’t hurt her did you?” The pain in her voice was obvious.

“Of course not!” I sat up and stared at her. “How could you think that?”

“How am I supposed to know what to think if you don’t talk to me?”

“Octavia. That day with Costia was … it was hard and it was confusing.” I tried to sort through my thoughts, to organize them into a coherent story. I knew what happened that day was straightforward but I couldn’t figure out how I hadn’t seen what was coming when Costia did what she did.

“So start at the beginning. That’s usually the best place to start a story.” She replied.

I started talking. I told her about Costia taking the bag and cardigan from the first house. The words spilled out. Once I started trying to explain it all, nothing could stop me. Octavia was quiet for a few minutes when I finished the story.

“I didn’t see it coming. How did I not know what she was going to do?” I said. “She’d been sad about finding that nursery and told me a few stories about her family so I thought… what? That she was a completely different person than I’d always known her to be? I’m not that dumb.”

“Griff, it’s not your fault.” Octavia pulled me back to her side and wrapped her arm around my back. “You tried to help that girl. You knew we couldn’t have helped her so you gave her a chance. What happened that day is totally and completely on Costia.”

“I should have stopped her!”

“How? She probably would have attacked you and then killed the girl anyway.”

I shook my head, “I should have done something. I knew you were all still weak from being sick. I could have suggested we settle in one of the houses and then we could have nursed the girl. We could have given the girl a choice that way!”

“You know Luke and Lexa would have argued against that. Harper probably would have too. We didn’t know that girl. We all want to get home and she would have slowed us down again.”

“You’re saying you wouldn’t have helped the girl either?”

“Not at all. I would have voted to stay. And I think Raven would have too but that would still have us outnumbered.” Octavia rubbed my back with her hand and sighed, “it wasn’t okay for Costia to do what she did but maybe it was best. Who knows if that girl could have made it.”

“At least my way she had a chance. It was up to her to fight to get better.” I replied.

Octavia nodded, “That’s true but it a cruel chance. If she was as weak as you thought she was then she probably didn’t have the strength to lift those bottles of water or open those granola bars you wanted to leave with her. She would have had the resources but no way to use them.”

“I wanted her to have a chance.”

“I think that decision was made for her, and for you, before you even found her.” She replied.

Shrugging, I changed the subject quickly. Talking about the girl too much would cause a nightmare if I wasn’t careful. “Why haven’t we seen anyone on the trail?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean. We went to D.C. with our classmates. With the breaks and trips and all the delays we’ve had, why haven’t we stumbled on to any of them?”

“Ms. Indra gave each group a different route to take. She said it would make things more secure. Some were longer than ours, some were shorter.” Octavia explained. “She said we’d never be able to sustain a group of thirty people by scavenging. And that too many teens would cause too much noise and chaos.”

“She was worried about drawing attention. Like Lexa the night the lights went out.” I said.

“I think so. I think she was trying to get as many of us home as she could.” She sighed then. “Tim and Ashley were already sick. Joey wasn’t feeling well. Clark told me Jonny and Kate were both coughing off and on all day. I don’t know how many of us even made it out of the city.”

“I guess it’s a good thing Ms. Indra is so amazing.” I replied. “She probably saved our lives.”

“She definitely saved our lives.” Octavia scoffed, as if my not seeing how much help our teacher had given us was offensive to her. “I saw her when Lexa and I went to our room to pack. I told her that Costia was going with us. She laughed and wished us better luck.”

I started to reply but Tank’s whining brought us back to the present. I retrieved the puppy from my tent so he could do his business and laughed as he tumbled into the slow-moving river. When I saw Octavia smiling at him, I left Tank with her and crawled back into my tent. I could hear Octavia whispering guard instructions to Tank. The puppy’s barks and growls made me laugh until the sadness I’d been stewing in over Ophelia and Luke almost disappeared.

****

Both Octavia and I had puffy faces the next morning but no one commented on them. I guessed that was because they’d all heard us talking during the night. With small smiles of acknowledgment we walked determinedly forward. It was probably the fastest we’d moved since entering Ohio. We were almost home. We were close to knowing who still had loved ones left and who we were going to have to mourn.

We all had a little panicky moment when Aden started coughing. Lexa had him on her shoulders at the time. As soon as he started gasping for breath I ran to Lexa’s side and grabbed him. I held the little boy in my arms and rocked him until he stopped coughing.

“Aden, are you okay?” I asked. I pressed a hand to his forehead. It felt normal.

“Yeah.” He shuddered. “I think I swallowed a bug.”

I laughed. Then I cried with relief. The boy had only been in my life for a few weeks, a month at most, and I was already head-over-heels in love with him. He was a little boy even the hardest and coldest person in the world wouldn’t have been able to resist.

“Are you okay Clarke?” Lexa asked gently, her hand on my shoulder.

“I’m fine.” I laughed when Aden wiped the tears from my face with his little hands. “Maybe you could try to keep the bugs out of his airway Woods.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

Lexa lifted Aden back onto her shoulders and danced away from me. Harper helped me stand and walked with me.

“It’s hard not to care for him.”

“I know. Such a sweet boy.” I shivered as I remembered the instantaneous feeling of hopelessness when I’d thought Aden was sick like Luke and Ophelia. “I don’t know what I’d do if he got sick. If he got the flu.”

“You’d do what any mother would do.” Harper shrugged. “You’d do whatever you could and then you’d do some more.”

“Mother?” I stopped walking.

Harper took my hand and pulled me along with her. “Are you going to deny that’s how you feel about Aden? The rest of us see it. You’re like a mama bear. None of us tried to stop you from getting to Aden when he coughed did we? No, because not a single one of us is stupid. You practically climbed up Lexa to get to him.”

I hadn’t taken the time to mourn Ophelia or Luke and I hadn’t taken the time to process my feelings toward Aden. I’d thought of him as a responsibility at first. Somewhere on the trip, the maternal feelings had sprouted.

“I guess you’re right.”

Harper laughed. “Of course I’m right. I usually don’t speak unless I’m fairly certain I’m right. Besides, you asked me to point out obvious things to you when you’re clearly missing them. That’s one of them.”

I spent the afternoon walking with Harper at the back of the group. She had an amazing mind. She was able to multiply huge numbers in her head. She was also able to tell time by looking at the sun. I was amazed when she told me she could navigate by the stars.

When we stopped to set up camp that night I quizzed her while we gather firewood. “So you can tell time by looking at the sun?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

Harper shrugged. “You never asked and Costia didn’t want me to offer any help.”

“And you can navigate by stars?”

“Yes. To a certain extent anyway.”

“Prove it.”

“We’re only a week away from home. As long as we don’t have too many more delays.”

I shook my head. We’d had a genius with us for the entire trip and we’d had no clue. I knew she was smart. She was on the honor roll. I never would have guessed she was a genius. It never even occurred to me.

I studied her for a second before asking, “What’s 784 times 629?”

After the briefest of hesitations Harper replied, “493,136.”

“Anything else you feel like sharing?” I laughed. “Are you a genius kid doctor prodigy?”

“No but I do know a great deal about natural remedies. My grandmother taught me.”

I narrowed my eyes. “You’re another Ophelia aren’t you?”

Harper nodded. “I guess so. I always admired her courage.”

“Courage?”

“Every time she answered a question or questioned an answer she was showing courage. She knew people didn’t like her because she was intelligent and she showed it. She didn’t care. You were a big part of her not caring. She knew you’d have her back even if you wanted to strangle her.”

“She was my friend.” The lump in my throat that was always there when I talked about Ophelia came back. “She might as well have been my sister.”

“I know that. And so did she.” Harper put her hand on my shoulder. She waited until I looked up at her before she spoke again. “She knew she was your friend Clarke. She knew you loved her. You don’t have to feel guilty about not telling her.”

I did feel guilty about it though. Ophelia had been my friend since we were children. We’d been friends since Octavia had introduced us. I’d always been as comfortable talking with Ophelia as I’d been talking to Octavia. But I’d never realized that. I’d taken the easy way and teased her like everyone else did. All she’d wanted was to be strong like me. She wanted me to like her. At least I got to tell her I loved her before she died. It wasn’t much but it made me feel better.


	17. Chapter 17

I dreamt about Ophelia that night. It was like a replay of a memory. I remembered the day well. We were sitting in her room and laughing while I waited for Octavia to get home from lacrosse practice so we could go paintballing. I couldn’t remember what we talked about but we’d giggled and teased like sisters. It was probably the most comforting memory I had of Ophelia. She was only Ophelia in that memory, not Octavia’s twin or my know-it-all classmate.

I wish Ophelia had stayed in her room during the dream. Instead she led me out into the hall. When we turned where the living room should have been, we found ourselves in the middle of the woods. Costia and Luke were sitting on logs around a fire in a clearing nearby.

“About time you got here.” Luke handed me a fire fork with a hot dog on it. He bit into one of his own, groaning while he chewed. “The food is so much better here.”

“She’s only visiting.” Costia snapped.

“Yes, but not for your lack of trying.” Ophelia growled before she smacked Costia upside the head.

I couldn’t speak anymore. I tried. I wanted to tell Luke I was sorry for getting so upset with him. I wanted to tell Ophelia how much I missed her. I even wanted to tell Costia I was sorry I killed her, even if she had tried to kill me first. I woke up when they all crawled into graves and begged me to cover them with the dirt so they could go to sleep.

I knew there was no way I’d be able to go back to sleep after that so I rolled Aden over so he was curled up against Harper. She immediately put an arm around him and squeezed. I lifted Tank off my arm and draped him across Harper’s legs. I glanced up at her face to find her awake and watching me.

“You had a nightmare.” It wasn’t a question.

“Did I wake you?”

“I haven’t been to sleep yet. I’ve been thinking. I do that a lot.”

“So I’ve noticed.” I unzipped the tent and crawled out. I turned around to grab my rifle and zip the flap closed again. “Try to get some sleep. I’m going to walk around for a bit. Maybe take over watch.”

****

As it turns out, Lexa was on watch and she didn’t want to go to bed. She rolled her eyes when I told her I’d had a nightmare.

“If you can’t sleep you could walk with me Griffin.”

We had walked around the camp several times without speaking when she stopped on a large flat moss-covered rock just outside of camp. Above the rock there was a break in the trees. Lexa stood in the middle of the rock and gazed at the stars. Following her gaze I told her about Harper and her navigational abilities. She couldn’t believe Harper was that smart. She’d followed Costia blindly. She couldn’t see how a genius would do something like that.

“She let Costia run her life because it was easier than standing up to her.” I shook my head.

“I know that feeling.” Lexa muttered.

“Think about it Woods. How many times did you or one of your friends make fun of someone for being a nerd? Or call someone a name for actually knowing the answer to a question?” I could remember doing those things and I was an honor student. “Why do we make fun of the smart people? That doesn’t make sense.”

“Probably jealousy. We make fun of what we envy.”

Before I could reply she started walking again. We made a few more circuits before Lexa stopped on the rock again.

“So why can’t you sleep?” She asked. “What’d you dream about?”

“I dreamt about them. About Ophelia, Costia and Luke I mean.” I told her about the dream, including not being able to talk and our friends wanting me to bury them.

Lexa nodded but didn’t say anything. Instead she made a couple more circuits around camp while I stayed on the rock watching the stars. Finally she came to a stop behind me.

After a moment or two, she spoke softly, “I’ve tried to be sorry for her death. I’ve truly tried. I can’t. It’s not like I’m happy she’s dead but I am happy she isn’t around to try to hurt you anymore. If you hadn’t killed her, she’d still be trying. Or I’d have killed her.”

I turned to face her. “You don’t know that Woods.”

She lifted a hand and ran a fingertip along the new scar on my cheek. “I do. She was crazy jealous of you. You were what she wanted to be but couldn’t figure out how to be.”

“She hated me.” I replied as I reached up to swat her hand away from my cheek. “I’ll never know why, but I know she did.”

“If I hadn’t been there, if Tris hadn’t warned me about the lady in the creek with the knife, you wouldn’t be here. If she were still around, she would try to hurt you Griffin. More than she already did. Never doubt that.”

My voice was hardly a whisper when I spoke, “I saw the anger in your eyes that night.”

“It wasn’t directed at you.”

“Then who?” Who else could she have been that mad at that night?

“Costia.” Lexa’s eyes were hard and cold when she spoke her name. “She actually tried to kill you.”

“I don’t think she’d have killed me. Nyko could have talked her down.” I put my hand on her arm.

Lexa shook her head. “She would have killed you. I couldn’t have lived with that.”

“Saving the damsel Woods?” I forced a laugh because she was getting too intense. Too real.

“You’ve never been a damsel Clarke.” She replied quietly.

I couldn’t believe she’d said my name like that. There was more emotion in that one syllable than there had been in the entire conversation up to that point. Maybe in any conversation we’d ever had. It was like she made sure every letter of my name had it’s own time to roll off her tongue. “I know that. I don’t think there are any damsels left in the world.”

Lexa sighed and moved away from me. “You don’t know how to have a serious conversation.”

“Not with you.” I replied. I lifted my eyes back to the sky and found a star to focus on.

“Fine.” She shook her head. “Go back to bed Griffin. You need to get your sleep.”

I needed my sleep? What was that supposed to mean? My brows came together and I practically growled at her, “You can go and get your sleep Woods. Don’t snap at me because I don’t say the things you want me to say.”

“I can’t do this right now. Just go.”

“No.” Again I stood on the rock watching her while she stalked around the camp. “Stomping around camp isn’t going to do anything but wake everyone else up.”

“Go away.” She snapped as she walked by me.

I shook my head. “I can’t leave you alone out here Woods. Not when you’re in this mood.”

“If we’d have left that first morning, without the planning I mean, if we’d have gone as soon as Octavia and Luke told us what Ms. Indra told them none of this would have happened.” She whispered the words but her tone made it clear she’d wanted to yell them. She stalked toward me.

“Oh?”

“Yes. If we decided to pack up what we had and leave that morning then everything would be different now.” Lexa snapped as she came to stop in front of me. “We wouldn’t have run in to Costia and Harper. None of that mess would have happened.”

“That is true, but I’m glad Harper is with us.” I smirked. I sobered up a little when she scowled at me. My attempt at seriousness didn’t last long. I was giggling when I said, “You’re a horrible hero Woods.”

“Excuse me?”

“This is at least the third time you’ve told me ‘if we’d have done this instead of that then we’d be better off’ since we started this epic walk.” I shook my head. “Maybe next time you have an idea that’s better than the popular idea, you should share it. Maybe I won’t get any more scars if we do things your way from now on.”

“Your scars are not funny.” She bit out before she stalked off again.

“And not sharing is not helping.” I shot back. “Caring is sharing Woods.”

I stared up at the sky and waited for her to calm herself down. Finally, after at least a dozen circuits around the camp, she came to stop next to me. I glanced over at her before sitting down on the blanket of moss covering the rock. I pulled my knees into my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

“Sit down.” I said.

“No.” She snapped.

I sighed. She was going to make things difficult. I reached into my shirt and pulled out my necklace. “Back in D.C. you asked me about the story behind this necklace. Do you remember?”

She nodded. “Of course. You told me to mind my own business.”

“I’m going to tell you the story now.” I motioned for her to sit next to me.

“Go to bed Griffin.”

“You can get as snarky as you want. I’ll sit here until dawn if I have to. And when someone else wakes up enough to take over watch I’ll drag you off into the woods so I can tell you this story so sit down and shut up.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke tells Lexa the story of her necklace. Lexa tells Clarke some things as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... it's my birthday!!
> 
> That is all.
> 
>  
> 
> Comments and kudos welcome as always.

I drew designs on my basketball shorts while I waited. Lexa stalked around camp twice more before finally dropping to the ground next to me. I cleared my throat and began to tell her the story of my necklace.

“I suppose the story starts with Dedko and Bubbe.”

Her blank expression made me giggle. “What and what?”

“My great-grandparents.”

“You’re too good for grandma and grandpa?” Her brow lifted.

I rolled my eyes. “Bubbe is Yiddish, Dedko is Slovak.”

“So you _are_ too good for grandma and grandpa.”

“Do you want to hear the story or not?” I started to drop my necklace back inside my shirt.

“You kind of forced the story on me so you can’t get mad at my jokes.” She replied before she grabbed my hand. “I’m sorry Griffin. I’m only giving you a hard time.”

I waited before trying to speak again, hoping she’d get that I was about to tell her something serious. She wanted a serious conversation from me so that was exactly what I was about to give her. Finally, she stretched her legs out in front of her, leaning back on her elbows and looked at me. I took that as her way of letting me know she was listening.

“I imagine the place where they grew up was similar to this place. Hilly and forested. That's how Dedko always describes it.” I looked around, smiling at the stars blinking at me through the leaves. “You have to understand the only information ever given to my generation of the family about their experiences during the war was the names of the camps they’d been in.”

Lexa’s eyes grew round. “Your Jewish grandparents. The war. Camps.” She shook her head. “No wonder you had that look on your face when we were in the museum.”

I nodded. Giving her a teasing pat on the head I said, “Most people don’t connect those dots so quickly Woods. Well done.”

“Because they don’t want to think about what happened back then. They don’t think anything bad can happen before them so nothing bad can happen in their own lifetimes.” She said. She glanced at my necklace before meeting my eyes, “So you don’t know the details?”

“I know a little more about their lives before the war. They were both born in the 1920s in what is now Slovakia. Their village was close to the border with Poland. When Dedko talks about his childhood he always talks about riding his bike down a big hill and foot races through the trees. He also says he’s loved Bubbe since he was a boy. He converted to Judaism so they could get married. Bubbe’s father wouldn’t have allowed the marriage otherwise. He almost disowned Bubbe for marrying Dedko as it was. All that was a huge secret of course. The Nuremburg Laws were in effect by then.

“In 1942 Bubbe was eighteen. She was on one of the first trains of Jewish women to Auschwitz. Somehow she managed to survive Auschwitz and Ravensbrück and a death march. Dedko was nineteen when he got to Auschwitz later that year, but he was sent to Buchenwald before the end of the war. Bubbe says she forced herself live because she knew Dedko would be waiting for her. She always smiles when she says he’d be lost without her around to guide him. Which is funny because she couldn’t find her way to the mailbox if her life depended on it. She has zero sense of direction. It took them almost a year to find each other after the war.

“Nearly all of Bubbe’s family was killed by the Nazis and their associates. Only one of Bubbe’s sisters survived the camps. One of her brothers survived because he came to the States before the war. He fought for the United States in the Army. She lost three sisters and their husbands, a brother and his wife, another brother, and eight nieces and five nephews.  A death squad killed her parents while she was in Auschwitz. I don't even know about her cousins and aunts and uncles.

"Dedko’s older brother was sent to Auschwitz because he was gay. Strýko,” I rolled my eyes when Lexa started to speak. Before she could even get the question out I explained, “That’s Slovak for uncle, Strýko Izak was alive when Dedko left Auschwitz. Years after the war, another survivor told Dedko that Strýko Izak was shot during a death march because he couldn’t walk anymore. Strýko Arno, Dedko’s younger brother, moved to France just before things got bad in Czechoslovakia. He married a French girl. They were part of the Resistance.”

Lexa reached out and held the charms in her hand, like she had that day in the National Mall. “So you wear this to remember what your family went through?”

“I wear it so I’m reminded of all the terrible things people can do. But more importantly so I’m reminded of all the things a person can survive.” I shivered when images of heath and Costia flashed through my mind. “I want to remember that no matter what I have to face, I come from survivors. If they can survive everything that has happened to them, surely I can face whatever life throws at me.”

“So why hide it like you’re ashamed?”

I stiffened at the accusation she didn’t know she’d made. I shook my head at her misunderstanding. “I’m not ashamed. What would I have to be ashamed of?”

“Some people don’t like Jews.” She almost made it sound like a question.

“I always put people who hate based on religion or race or sexuality in the same group. I call that group idiots.”

“I didn’t mean to offend you Griffin.” Lexa ran a hand through her already disheveled hair. “I seem to apologize for hurting your feelings a lot. I don’t like that.”

“You didn’t hurt my feelings. You asked a question.” I waited for her to meet my eyes again. “I keep it under my shirt because Bubbe asked me to.”

“Why?”

“Because of idiots who hate Jews.”

We sat in silence for a few minutes. Then Lexa asked, “So where did you get the charms? Did Bubbe get them for you?”

I nodded. “In a way. She carried the Star of David through the camps. Hid it in her shoe or in her mouth or, my personal favorite, she’d hold it between her toes. Her mother’s mother gave it to her when she was twelve. When she had her Bat Mitzvah. She didn’t want the Nazis to profit even a little from it.”

“So how did you end up with it?”

“I saw it in her jewelry box when I was twelve.”

“So when you had your-”

I shook my head. “I told you once that I’m not Jewish, Woods. I didn’t have a Bat Mitzvah. I tried to convert when Raven did but Bubbe wouldn’t hear of it.”

“So why did she give it to you?”

“It was maybe a week after I found it. She waited until it was late at night when everyone else was asleep so it was the two of us. We were sitting at her table playing a board game when she suddenly held the pendant up. She said a prayer in Yiddish and put it in my hand. She closed my fingers around it and held my hand so tightly I thought the points of the star would cut me. Then she smiled so sadly. She told me she knew I felt guilty about all the horrible things she and Dedko and their families had to go through while my sisters and brother and cousins lived freely and in luxury. She knew I hated the Germans and the people of the old Czechoslovakia for hurting her and our family. She would give me the charm on two conditions. I had to promise to let go of the guilt and the hate. Hating them would only consume me she said. Then they would win.

“Bubbe wanted me to know that she and Dedko and my grandparents and parents worked hard to make sure we had the life we deserved. Me being angry about all of it wouldn’t change the past. She wanted me to promise to respect people no matter what they believed or who they loved or what they looked like. I promised her I would and I’ve tried every day since to see the world the way she does.”

Lexa swallowed a few times before she spoke again. Even then, her voice was thick with emotion. “She sounds like an amazing woman.”

“Beyond amazing. And Dedko is the best man I’ve ever met. He’s probably the best man I could ever hope to meet.”

She replied, “I think you’re very lucky to come from people who hold so much love.”

I didn’t know what to say to that so I nodded and started talking again. I moved the Star of David charm so she could see the Celtic cross. “So then when I had my confirmation Dedko gave this to me. I was fourteen. It was his mother’s charm. An Irish priest gave it to her. Dedko’s brother Arno took it to France and gave it to Dedko after the war. He said that as the eldest son it was rightfully his.”

“Your family is apparently full of amazing people.”

“According to my great-grandparents it’s full of people who did what they had to do to ensure they had a future.”

Silence fell again. I shifted so I could lie on the ground and watch the stars. Before long Lexa was lying next to me. I couldn’t help but smile when my hand drifted to the side and met hers halfway between the two of us. I bit my lip and wove my fingers through hers. There was a little family of frogs in my stomach jumping around happily. That was what had been missing with Luke. With Luke there had been no frogs.

Finally Lexa turned her head and smiled at me. “I know your confirmation name.”

“No you don’t.”

“Matilda.” She whispered.

I closed my eyes and groaned, “Why do you know that?”

“I was confirmed on the same day.” Lexa let go of my hand. Before I could even try to grab her hand again, she had her arm around my shoulders and my head was on her shoulder. “Do you know what mine is?”

“No. I actually forgot about you being there.” I’d never lain like that with anyone like that before. What was I supposed to do with my hand? How was she thinking so clearly?

Lexa answered that question for me without saying a word. She took my hand in hers and pulled it to her stomach, lacing our fingers together. “It’s Michaela. For Saint Michael. He’s the patron saint of soldiers. I’ve wanted to be a soldier my whole life. I like protecting the things I care about.”

I tipped my head back to look at her. “That’s a good reason to choose it then. Even if you are a horrible shot.”

She smiled at me. “Why did you choose Matilda?”

“She’s the saint of the falsely accused.”

“What were you accused of?”

I pulled myself up on to my elbow so I could see her face. “I wasn’t accused of anything Lexa. It was my way of honoring Bubbe and Dedko. Honoring that entire branch of my family was unfairly accused of one thing or another. Bubbe and Dedko nearly paid for it with their lives. A lot of my family did pay for it with their lives.”

Lexa lifted her free hand to brush my hair out of my face. She cradled my face and looked deep into my eyes. “I’m sorry Clarke. I wasn’t thinking. I was trying to make a joke about your innocence.”

“I know. I take myself too seriously sometimes.” I leaned over her until I could rest my chin on her chest.

“I take you too seriously too. It gets me in trouble.” She sighed and rested her head on the rock again.

I studied her carefully. She looked guarded. No one should look that serious when they’re watching the stars. “Lexa, why did you ignore me for so long? At the beginning of all of this I mean. I thought… After what happened when we found Ophelia and then after the old man in the house that first morning I thought that there was something. But you would barely look at me.”

“At first, when I first noticed you I mean, I didn’t know if you were into girls. Then you made out with Monroe at that party sophomore year.” Lexa replied quietly. “Then, you were with whats-his-name from that fancy private school and I was with... other people. And when this all started, I guess I didn’t think I deserved to be with you.”

“Why?”

Lexa shifted so we were both on our sides, our elbows supporting us. She ran a fingertip over the scar on my cheek before meeting my eyes. Her own were filled with sadness. “That old man. Octavia told you I helped get him off that woman.”

“Yeah. You ruined my shirt.”

“I miss ruining your shirts Griffin. They smell good.”

“I’ll give you one of mine in the morning if you give me one of yours.”

“Deal.” Lexa winked. I never thought I’d miss her winks but I had! “But that old man. I didn’t just help that lady. I had to hit the man to get him to let go. I hit him pretty hard. He fell back and hit his head on the corner of the nightstand. He died Clarke.”

“Lexa.” I didn’t know what to say.

“I’ve killed two people on this stupid trip.”

I could only shake my head. “But that old man… You were helping the woman. You didn’t mean to hurt the old man. And I don’t know who you’re counting as the second one, unless you’ve killed someone on a run and never mentioned it.”

“I’m talking about Costia. I can’t make myself feel bad about Costia. I tried. But she’d have killed you.” She rubbed her hand over her face then through her hair. “I told you I don’t feel bad Griffin.”

“You don’t get to feel guilty over her death. That’s on my hands. You were trying to talk to her!”

“I was choking her.”

“You had your hands on her shoulders. You were shaking her.”

She stared at me, disbelief clearly written all over her face. “Clarke, my hands were around her neck.”

“Lexa.” I reached out slowly and ran my hand over her cheek. I put my fingers over her lips to silence her. “You didn’t kill her. You may have wanted to and you may have almost killed her but I actually killed her. I am the one who stabbed her, not you. She wasn’t prepared for this life. She couldn’t handle it.”

My eyes widened when she took my hand in hers and pressed a kiss to my fingers. “She wanted to hurt you because when I broke up with her I told her I had feelings for someone else. She figured out pretty quickly I meant you. And now she’s dead because I couldn’t watch her try to hurt you anymore.”

“Someone else?” I couldn’t believe what she’d said. “Me?”

Lexa nodded. “Octavia didn’t tell you?”

“No, she never said a word.”

She smiled. “I guess that doesn’t matter now. I have you now. And anyway, that’s why Costia was always watching you, always needling you. I don't think it took more than a few days on the trail for her to want to hurt you.”

“Lexa, her death was her own fault. She attacked me and tried to kill me. Her reasons don’t matter.” I grabbed her chin so she had to stop shaking her head and look at me. “I killed her. Like I killed that man, Heath.”

“You were protecting the group Griffin.”

I nodded. I knew she was right, but if she could use that to reassure me, I could use it for her. “So were you. The old man could have hurt any of us if we’d been near him. And it wasn’t fair for Costia to put you in the position she did but you still can’t take the blame for her death.”

“I know you think I shouldn’t feel guilty about it but that doesn’t mean I won’t.”

“Are you trying to make me angry Woods?”

“No! Of course not!”

“Then let it go. What happened with Costia is done.” I smiled shyly before I added, “so tell me more about this crush you had on me.”

Lexa laughed. “You mean the crush I have on you?”

“Yes. Let’s talk about that.”

“I used to think you deserved someone who was better. Someone who was as good as you I mean. Kind, funny, smart and maybe a little irritating at times. You know, someone who wasn't known as a semi-reformed player. Then I thought you deserved someone with no blood on their hands, even if the blood on my hands is accidental. But if you’re okay with it, then I’m sure I can deal with it too.” Lexa settled onto her back again, pulling me with her. She sighed contentedly when my head was nestled against her shoulder again. She bent her other arm up and put it under her head. “It feels good to know that you know.”

I was trying to come up with a response when I heard Octavia speak. “Are you two done yet? This conversation has taken entirely too long.”

I rolled my eyes. Of course Octavia was awake for this conversation. I swear she had a radar for when my emotionally charged moments were occurring. “Sorry Octavia.”

“It’s fine.” She sighed dramatically.

I tried to sit up but Lexa held me tight. She smiled down at me. “I’m glad you’re awake now. It’s your turn for watch.”

“Sure.” I heard Octavia moving around the camp. Suddenly her face appeared above us. The grin on her face made me giggle. “Do you need anything?”

“I need to get some sleep. It’ll be light out in a few hours.” I replied, trying to sit up again. Lexa’s grip hadn’t lightened at all. I growled into her chest, “you need to let me go so I can go back to my tent.”

She shook her head. “Octavia, could you toss me Griffin’s sleeping bag? She’s cold.”

Octavia held up my sleeping bag. Lexa and I both laughed when she lifted it into the air and spread it over us. “I knew you were going to say that. Good night. I’ll wake you up in a little bit.”

“Hey Griffin.” Lexa whispered now. Maybe because Octavia was awake.

“Yeah Woods?”

“You know that gift Luke gave you for your birthday?”

“The pendant?”

Lexa must have nodded. I could feel her moving under my head. “Yeah, that one.”

“What about it?”

“Do you still have it?”

"Of course." I looked up to ask Octavia to grab my jeans for me so I could get the pendant. She was already standing over me with the little pouch swinging from her fingers. She handed it to me and offered me another ridiculous grin. I held the pouch up for Lexa to see. 

“I asked him to give it to you. At the time I thought it was better if I kept my distance.”

I opened the pouch and took out the pendant. “At the time?”

“At the time.” She sat up, pulling me up with her.

Suddenly all of her hot and cold behavior made sense to me, I glared at her and poked her hard in the chest. “You used Costia to keep me away!”

“It worked didn’t it?” Lexa replied as she rubbed the spot I'd jabbed. “I didn’t think I was good enough for you Clarke. Honestly that’s the only reason.”

I nodded, placated by the knowledge that she felt like she was protecting me. Then I remembered something else. “You shared a tent with her!”

Lexa held up her hands. “Nothing happened. I wouldn’t let her touch me. It was to keep you away.”

“That’s comforting.” I bit out. “I can’t believe she went with it.”

“She thought it was fun to torture you.” Lexa replied. She looked sheepish when she added, “If it helps, I’ve changed my mind.”

I started to yell at her some more when I realized what she’d said. “Oh?”

“Yes.”

“No more distance?” I asked.

She shook her head. “No more distance.”

“Good.” I smiled and unhooked my necklace.

Lexa grabbed my hands. “You don’t have to do that Clarke. I can find you a bracelet or something to put it on. I didn’t realize how important those charms were to you. I didn’t know what they meant.”

I shook her hands off and carefully slid the Tree of Life onto the chain. I fastened the chain around my neck again. “No more distance Lexa. Your words.”

“Well, I can live with that.” Lexa smirked at me.

A second later, she leaned forward and kissed me. At first, I kind of stared at her because I hadn't seen the kiss coming. Then my eyes drifted closed and I kissed her back.

From the other side of the campfire I heard Octavia snort, “finally.”

I smiled as I kissed Lexa again. I couldn’t have agreed with my best friend more.


	19. Chapter 19

True to her word, Lexa offered me one of her shirts almost as soon as we woke up. I begrudgingly gave her my cleanest shirt, which just so happened to be my favorite softball shirt, while trying to hide a ridiculously huge smile. I knew that she’d stretch it out and I’d never be able to wear it again without it hanging weirdly but it gave me a little thrill to see my name stretched across her back again.

Finally understanding what was happening between Lexa and me helped clear the air. The odd tension that had been following our group throughout the trip was gone. Apparently the entire camp had known about Lexa’s feelings for me. It was another one of those things they had all decided not to mention to me. With the tension gone the walking was more bearable. Aden and Tank danced between Lexa and me, Aden begging to be put up on someone’s shoulders while Tank begged for Aden’s attention. When the shoulder rides weren’t an option, he would run up to us and jump on our joined hands, using them as a swing.

Before I knew it, we were only a few days walk away from home. I couldn’t believe we’d made it. The route we’d taken and all the detours had to have been well over seven hundred miles, probably a lot more than that. We’d walked that distance in just under three months. We’d lost friends and family along the way but we made it. I made it. Lexa made it. Raven, Octavia, and Harper surely would make it now. And Aden, our newest addition, would make it.

I was walking along the path with Lexa’s fingers intertwined with mine when Raven suddenly stopped walking in front of us. I thought she’d spotted something interesting on the trail or something. Then I saw her swaying a little. I was about to ask her what she was doing when she fell over.

I dropped Lexa’s hand and sprinted to my cousin’s side. “Raven!”

With Harper’s help I managed to get her turned over. She was a strange greenish color.

I looked for Lexa. She was kneeling next to me and calmly said, “What do you need me to do?”

“Get Nyko?” I hoped that was the right call. I didn’t know what else to do.

Lexa nodded. She started to stand then stopped and pulled me in for a quick kiss. I held a hand to her cheek for a moment. “Please hurry-”

“Hurry up and go so I can get back?” She smiled as she held up her pinky like she’d seen me do with Octavia and Raven so many times.

I raised an eyebrow and linked my pinky with hers. “Be safe.”

“I’m always safe Griffin.” She winked and ran into the woods.

Harper pulled up Raven's shirt and started to inspect her torso. “She hasn’t been sick this whole trip Clarke. This isn’t the flu. Help me look.”

“Look for what?” I moved to her feet, rolling up the leg of her jeans.

“Anything odd. A bug bite, a scratch, a bee sting, poison ivy. It could be anything.” Harper hadn't finished speaking when I pulled up Raven's pant leg to reveal a four-inch long scratch on her calf that was red and angry looking. Harper practically growled when she saw it. “That. We’re looking for that. The idiot never said anything.”

“It’s only a scratch.” I couldn’t believe such a small scratch could cause so much damage.

Harper stood, looking all around us. There was nowhere to go for help. Not until Nyko arrived anyway. Suddenly, she gasped and sprinted into the woods.

“Harper! What are you doing?” Octavia called after her.

Aden walked up to my side. “What’s the matter with Raven?”

“She’s not feeling well. That’s all.” I hugged the little boy.

“Like Luke?”

I shook my head. “No. A different kind of not feeling well.”

Octavia came over and moved Aden away. She bent over and picked Tank up. “I’ll take these two on a walk. You’ll be okay?”

I nodded. I felt a small hand on the back of my head. “Clarkey, are you okay?”

My head jerked up. Aden never showed any sign of calling me anything but Griffin thanks to Lexa’s influence. “I’m fine Aden. I’m worried about Raven.”

“It’s okay Clarkey. Harper will help. She’s smarter than all of you put together.”

I smiled as I gathered him into another hug and squeezed. “How do you know that?”

“She told me.”

I rolled my eyes. Before all this happened I'd never have been able to picture Harper saying something like that, knowing her now though it actually sounded exactly like something she would say. “She is smarter than all of us. You go with Octavia. And make sure you listen to her.”

Aden pressed a sloppy kiss to my cheek and ran to Octavia.

I waited until they were out of earshot to start crying. Raven was my only connection to my family. The other deaths and sicknesses I’d had to deal with on this trip were easily handled because she’d been there to help. Who was I supposed to lean on if she left me?

Like when Ophelia was sick, I found myself wishing I could pray. But when I folded my hands around one of Raven's and closed my eyes, nothing came to me. I tried one of the prayers my dad taught me as a child but I’d forgotten most of it. After a few attempts I opened my eyes and stared at her.

She looked like she was sleeping. Or fake sleeping, like we had done when we were children at Bubbe and Dedko’s house. Spurred on by the childhood memory I started whispering funny stories to her. I reminded her of the laughter that filled whatever house our family gathered in. I scolded her for the time she’d convinced me to slide down Bubbe’s laundry shoot. She still felt guilty about that one. I’d broken my arm in two places when I hit the floor.

I think, in my own way, talking about those memories was a kind of prayer.

I was in the middle of story about my sister Bennet and me in a bass boat in the middle of a bay during a storm when Harper came sprinting out of the woods and shoved me aside. She had some plants in her hand. She grabbed her camp plate and placed the plants on it. She used rocks to crush the leaves and stalks. She added a little bit of water.

“You’re making a paste?” I sniffled.

“We’re making a paste.” She handed me more plants. “Crush this.”

I went to work immediately. She started to apply the paste to Raven’s leg. We worked in tandem. I crushed and she applied. We finished our frantic work as Lexa and Nyko ran onto the path. Tris asked for Aden so I pointed down the path toward the last place I’d seen him.

Lexa immediately came to my side and pulled me to my feet. “Come on Griffin. Nyko’s got this under control.”

“I need to stay with her.” I shook my head and tried to pull my hand from hers.

“Harper and Nyko will take care of her.” Lexa argued. “You don’t need to be here for this.”

“She’s my cousin!”

“I know. But you don’t need to see her like this. And if you don’t want to walk away on your own, I’ll toss you over my shoulder.” The promise behind the threat was clear in her eyes.

I narrowed my eyes. “You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.” The threat loomed large in her eyes but behind that I could see the worry.

I considered making her toss me over her shoulder. I looked back down at Raven. She was out cold. Harper and Nyko seemed to be waiting for me to leave before they got to work on her. I turned on my heel and walked into the woods, Lexa was right behind me.

After we were far enough into the trees that the path disappeared, I turned around again. “I should have stayed with her.”

“No.” Lexa stopped me when I tried to get around her.

I started crying again. Of all my many cousins, all thirty of them, Raven had always been one of my favorites. She had always been the funny one and the kind one. She was nice to almost everyone she met. Maybe she liked to make things go boom every once in a while, but everyone had hobbies right? I hadn’t known until we’d started walking toward home that she was also incredibly brave. Now a scratch was about to take her from me. Leave it to Raven to survive a plague only to be taken out by a scratch. Lexa wrapped her arms around me and pulled me tightly against her chest.

“It’s okay, Griffin. Nyko knows what he’s doing.” She walked me further into the trees.

“What if the infection is too far gone?”

Lexa shushed me. “Positive thoughts Griffin. Nothing negative.”

I had to stop walking because I was crying again. I moved out of Lexa’s arms and sank to the ground. I wrapped my arms around my legs and started rocking. At that moment I needed something bigger than me that could fight what I couldn’t, so I started whispering to the air, willing Bubbe to hear my words and hoping, irrationally, she would come and fix Raven. Lexa sat down next to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulders.

After a while, I relaxed. Lexa moved to lean against a nearby tree. Almost without thinking I moved to sit next to her. I was settling my head on her shoulder when I heard Raven yell. I started to get up but Lexa caught my arm and held me next to her.

“She needs me.”

“No.” Lexa shook her head. She wrapped her arms around me. “When I told Nyko what happened he asked about cuts and said something about infections. As soon as he saw Harper putting that stuff on Raven’s leg he knew what he’d need to do. He told me I had to get you away and keep you away. I guess we didn’t go far enough.”

I narrowed my eyes. “What does he need to do?”

“Nyko said he might have to cut into Raven’s leg to drain the infection. He’s going to do some other things but I’m pretty sure that’s what the yelling is. He’ll whistle when he’s done.”

“He’s cutting her leg?” I struggled against Lexa. “Let me go Woods.”

“You’re not going anywhere Griffin.”

“I’m serious Woods! She needs me.”

“She’s fine!” Lexa responded. “I need you.”

“She’s not fine and you don’t need me.” I argued as I struggled to get out of her grip. “I’m sure you’ll find some reason to avoid me soon enough. You’ve never needed me when you were weak before, you don’t need me now.”

“I never needed you?” Lexa whispered. Her arms fell away. “What do you mean?”

I sat back. I hadn’t even realized what I’d been saying. I’d just wanted her to let me go. “Well. Like when you were upset over the old man. Or when Luke got sick.”

“We’ve already talked about the old man. I’m not getting into that again. And as for Luke, I wouldn’t let you in the tent because you and Raven were the only ones who haven’t been sick. I figured Harper and I had built up some kind of immunity to it since we had.”

“Oh.” Once again, words failed me. I’d never had someone in my life that actually put all my needs ahead of their own. I was starting to realize that was exactly what Lexa had been doing all along.

“Yeah. Oh.” She snapped. “I’m not some shallow girl who is in this because I can be Clarke. I’m in this. I’m with you because I care about you. I wanted you before all of this and I want you now.”

Raven screamed again. I started to get up. Lexa shook her head and settled back against the tree. She brought her knees up so her arms could rest on them.

I was torn. I could practically feel the pain in Raven’s screams but Lexa was sitting there asking me to trust her. She seemed to know this was a choice I needed to make on my own. I cringed when Raven screamed again. Refusing to overthink the situation anymore than I already had I shoved Lexa’s legs down so I could crawl into her lap. I buried my head in the crook of her neck and tried to ignore my cousin’s sporadic screaming. She hummed some song I barely recognized and rubbed her hand up and down my back.

“Lexa?”

“Hm?”

“Aden called me Clarkey today.” I smiled at the memory.

Lexa chuckled. “He’s been calling you Clarkey for days whenever you weren’t close enough to hear. He didn’t know if you’d like it so he practiced with me.”

I smiled and snuggled closer.

“Why don’t you try praying or something?”

I knew Lexa’s suggestion was innocent but it irritated me all the same. I didn’t know if that was because I’d told her I wasn’t religious or if it was because I’d already tried and couldn’t find the words. Either way, I bristled at the prompting. “It’s not my style.”

“Couldn’t hurt to try though.”

I smiled even though I knew my wobbling lips made me look even more upset. “I’ve tried. Nothing comes to me. Bubbe’s always wanted me to be religious. I think that’s why I went through the whole process of confirmation. It meant something to her.”

“But not to you?”

“It seemed to mean a lot of different things to a lot of my friends, but it didn’t mean the same things to me.” I shifted so I could look at her. “Last year I finally built up the courage to tell her I didn’t believe in organized religions. I told her I couldn’t justify it in my mind or find it in my heart or however you want to think about it.”

“From everything you’ve told me about her, I’d guess she is religious though. So how did she take your news?”

I smiled at the memory. I’d waited until it was late at night, so it was the two of us and I made us each a cup of hot chocolate and joined her by the fire. It was our own little tradition in a family full of traditions. “She listened to my reasons and she asked a lot of questions. When I’d explained it all the best I could, she nodded.”

“She nodded? That’s it?”

“No. She told me she wished I could feel what she felt when she went to Temple. That there was a comfort in the knowing and the believing. Then she patted my cheek and said that I didn’t need to follow one religion if I didn’t want to, as long as I had faith.”

Lexa’s brows drew together. “Faith in what?”

“I think I’m still trying to figure that part out.”

Raven yelled again. I imagined I could feel the sound waves passing through my body. I cringed and burrowed deeper into Lexa’s neck. After another yell I whimpered, “distract me Woods!”

Moving a hand to my chin, she applied a little pressure. When I lifted my head she smiled and pressed a kiss to my lips. That distraction worked pretty well until Raven screamed again. I pulled away and buried my head again.

Lexa sighed, leaning her head back against the tree. Her hand started moving up and down my back slowly until another scream sounded through the woods, then she locked her arms around me and squeezed like she thought I was going to make a break for it. “Okay, apparently kissing isn’t going to work.”

“It almost worked.” I replied shyly. I wasn’t used to how affectionate Lexa could be.

“Almost doesn’t count.”

She sounded like she was pouting. I leaned my head back and studied her face. She looked more than a little upset that her kiss hadn’t cleared my head of all things that weren’t her. I kissed her chin, the only part of her I could reach since her arms were like iron bands around me. “I’m sorry Lexa.”

“It’s not anything you need to apologize for. I’m just not used to girls not being distracted by my kisses.”

“Oh really?” I arched a brow and glared at her. “You want to talk about other girls right now?”

Lexa’s eyes grew as big as saucers and she shook her head frantically. “That wasn’t what I meant!”

“What kind of girl wouldn’t be thrilled to be hidden in the woods with her new girlfriend?”

“The kind of girl I like.” She kissed my forehead. “You make me work. I like that. Who wants easy?”

I started to reply but Raven’s next scream was carried through the woods by the wind. It felt like the breeze had brought her anguish straight to my ear. I closed my eyes. “Lexa!”

“Okay! Okay!” She squeezed me tighter for a moment. “Um.”

After another scream tore through me I said, “Just talk!”

“Have I ever told you about the tradition behind names in my family?”

I didn’t know what I thought she’d say to distract me but it definitely wasn’t that. “What?”

“Yeah. Going back generations, lots of tradition.”

I blinked at her, not sure where she was going with the conversation. “What are you talking about?”

Lexa shifted a little and pulled a small wallet out of her back pocket. She took out a piece of paper that had been folded and refolded over and over again. She held the paper so we could both read it while her free hand went back to rubbing my back. “I wrote down all of my relatives that live in or near Whitehouse. I wanted to be able to find everyone and I was worried I’d forget someone. So I wrote down names, nicknames, descriptions, and birthdays. Everything I could think of. Then I just kept adding names to the list, everyone I could think of.”

I read through some of the names. She’d divided them into families. She pointed out where her family was listed on the paper since she hadn’t bothered to put her own information down. First, she’d written the names they went by then their full names. I could feel Lexa watching me as I studied the paper.

“There are some pretty awesome old school Latin and super Irish names.” She said.

I pointed at the name of one of her little sisters. “Her name is Caitlin. How is that super Irish?”

“It’s not pronounced like Caitlin though. It’s more like ‘cotch-leen’ actually. See the accent on the second ‘I’? It’s Caitlín.”

“Cotch-leen?” I repeated. I looked up at her, trying to decide if she was teasing me.

“It’s Irish.” Her face was completely serious.

“So her middle name?” I looked back at the paper. “B-R-I-G-H. Is it Brig? Or Bridge?”

She chuckled and shook her head. “No, it’s ‘bree’.”

“Are you being serious?”

“Are you making fun of my heritage? Huh Strýko Bubbe?”

“Uncle Grandma?” I laughed. “No. I’ve never heard Irish names like that. I guess I thought they were all Billy and Murphy and Maggie and Brianna.”

“My name is Lexa.”

“That is true.” I replied. Then a thought struck me, “What’s your real name? Like your full name? You must have an Irish name too!”

“Try to guess my other sister’s name.” She shook her head and winked at me.

Looking back at the paper I found her youngest sister’s name. Searc Caoimhe Woods. “Is that actually her name?”

“Now you’re the one being ethnocentric Griffin.”

I tried several different ways to pronounce her name. Each attempt made Lexa laugh harder. I had to beg her to tell me the right way to say it. She laughed hard through my begging. She only stopped when another of Raven’s screams broke through our little bubble.

She took a few deeps breaths to calm herself before saying, “Okay, okay. Searc is like ‘shark’ and Caoimhe is ‘kee-vah’.”

“Your sister’s name is Shark?” She had to be kidding. No one was named Shark.

“Yes.”

“Seriously?”

“Completely.”

I narrowed my eyes. “I can’t tell if you’re messing with me.”

She gave me a quick kiss. “I promise Clarke. I’m being one hundred percent honest. Why else would I risk you wrath to steal some paper and a pen? A joke wouldn’t be worth it.”

“You stole my pen?”

“Temporarily! I put it back after I finished the list.”

I glared at her for a moment, letting her know I didn’t appreciate her taking my paper or pens. Then I looked back at the paper. “Shark?”

“Yes. Searc.”

I read through the whole list again, trying to pronounce the Irish names. I didn’t guess a single one of them right. Máda was ‘maud-a’, Siobhan was ‘shiv-aun’, Abaigh was ‘ab-ee’ and Iúile was ‘yo-le’. Lexa was having so much fun teaching the correct pronunciation that she started spelling out the names of her grandaunts in the dirt. Of all the names she wrote Eistir was my favorite, probably because it looked closest to its pronunciation. ‘Esh-tir’ was also one of Lexa’s favorite people in the world.

“She’s that old lady who says what she wants, no sugarcoating from Essie.” Lexa smiled. I could tell she was thinking about some memory of Aunt Essie. “She’s the reason I have a Denmark stamp in my passport. She moved there in 1990 with her partner Maggie.”

“Partner?”

“Aunt Maggie is her wife now. In 1989 Denmark was the first country to legalize same sex marriage. Aunt Essie and Aunt Maggie have lived there ever since. I got to visit them a couple of summers ago. They’re amazing.”

We talked more about Essie and Maggie and the Irish names. Lexa patiently went over the names with me several times. I wished I had one of my pens so I could make notations on how to say them.

For her grandmother, Lexa had only listed the nickname ‘Ona’ without any kind of full name underneath it. There was a Roman numeral four next to it though.

“Why the four?”

“Because she’s the fourth in our family to have the name.”

“What’s her name?”

“Ona.”

“What’s her full name?”

She shook her head and smiled. “I’m not telling you that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m named after her.”

My jaw dropped. “You’re the fifth?”

“Yes.”

“The fifth what?” I asked.

She shook her head again. “The fifth to have the name.”

“Tell me!”

“Never!”

“Lexa Woods!”

“See? If I tell you, that’s only more syllables you’d have to yell. I’m trying to save you from passing out due to a lack of oxygen. Besides, I’m good with Lexa.”

I couldn’t hold back the glare. I knew she wasn’t going to tell me if I looked like I was going to tease her. Unfortunately the next name my eyes found on the list was Luke’s.

“Lukianos?” I couldn’t hold back the giggles. I was never going to learn Lexa’s real name. “Lukianos Marcus Forrester?”

“And that right there is why you’ll never know my full name.” Lexa replied and she poked me in the side. “I started making the list after he died. Actually he was the reason I started the list in the first place. I wanted to be sure he’d be remembered when we get home. I want all of the them to be remembered.”

“Lukianos?” I repeated, no longer laughing but thinking about the name. “I think that would actually fit him better than Luke.”

“That’s what I always told him.”

I looked back at the paper again, flipping it over to read more names. Lexa had cousins named Vere, Phelyks, and Augustus among other names. “So many cool names. And so many Roman numerals!”

“I think the head of the family has a list of names we’re allowed to use. Every combination has been used at least four times.”

“I’m learning so much today.”

“Good. Because there is going to be a quiz in a couple of days.” Lexa nodded.

I nodded. “I think I may need a quiz. I’d like to know their names when we find them. I’d like to know how to say their names.”

Lexa didn’t reply. She stared for a moment then kissed me hard. Apparently that wasn’t the response to her teasing she was expecting but it seemed to be the response she’d liked.

We broke apart only when we had to come up for oxygen. Panting and laughing we pressed quick kisses to each other’s lips and cheeks and that little spot on my neck just below my ear. I shifted in Lexa’s lap so I was straddling her, wrapping my arms around her neck. I could barely feel the bark of the tree digging into my skin when I kissed her again. I pulled back and panted a few time, only leaning back into her when my lungs sufficiently recovered enough for another long kiss. We came up for a quick gulp of air and came together again. As our lips met a harsh whistle sliced the air.

I scrambled out of her lap. “Raven!”

Lexa was right beside me as I moved through the underbrush. She took my hand and laced our fingers.

I lifted our hands and pressed a kiss to the back of her. “Looks like you aren’t all that bad at distracting me after all Mystery name Woods.”

****

Before we reached the trail I glanced at Lexa. When her eyes met mine I sighed, “I hated you a little today Lexa.”

“As long as I keep you safe and relatively happy I’m okay with you hating me a little.”

We reached Nyko and Harper the same time Octavia and the kids did. Aden immediately ran to me. I hugged him to my legs and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. Nyko had Lexa and Octavia pick Raven up and move her to a small clearing Octavia and the kids found. He set up a hammock to keep Raven up off the ground.

“Is she going to be alright?” I asked.

“I’m pretty sure she’ll be fine. It was quite an infection but I think we got it all out and I pumped her full of all kinds of fun antibiotics. I’ll keep an eye on her for today. She should be good to go in a few days.” Nyko smiled. “If she wakes up any time soon she’s going to be in a goofy kind of mood. So… that could be fun.”

Lexa shook Nyko’s hand. “Thanks. We appreciate it.”

The others got camp together while I sat with Raven. She woke up once and asked for water before impersonating a squirrel and talking about brooms before passing out again. Other than that one bout of consciousness she slept.

At dusk, I joined everyone else at the fire. Lexa handed me a plate of fish.

“So how close are we to where we’re going?” Nyko asked.

“Not including the rest days?” Octavia responded. “Probably three or four days.”

“So we’re almost there.” Nyko looked relieved.


	20. Chapter 20

It took eleven days for Raven’s leg to heal enough to bear weight. Being so close to home but unable to move any closer was a special kind of torture. She swore she was ready to walk two days after she’d passed out but as soon as she put any pressure on her leg she’d yell and curse and collapse. She tried everyday to prove she could walk and everyday she ended up on the ground in a heap.

During the down time, all we did was talk. There wasn’t any real need to go out and search for supplies. We were close enough to home that we had more than we needed. So we talked and learned about each other.

Harper was a documentary nerd. She had her own YouTube channel with tens of thousands of subscribers where she reviewed books. Raven was amazed when she pulled several comic books out of her pack. I was amazed when she turned out to be a science fiction fan like me. More than once Harper and I complained that we should have been friends for years. Neither of us mentioned Costia as the reason we’d never had the chance. I had been raised to never speak ill of the dead.

Of course Lexa and I spent most of our time together. I was surprised at how much she knew about me. Whether it was something I’d once mentioned, even in passing, or something she’d dragged out of Octavia during lacrosse practice, it seemed like Lexa never forgot anything about me. She knew my favorite color was blue. She knew my favorite movie was _Serenity_ and she’d bought a copy of it to watch so she could casually mention it in conversation sometime. Turns out she loved it and became more of a sci-fi fan because of it. She even remembered all of my siblings’ names.

I found out she hated peas. Even when that was the last bit of food we had before a supply run, she wouldn’t touch them. She told me she’d been raised in a religious family. I think my favorite tidbit came early one morning when I went to wake her up and before I could say anything she started talking in her sleep. She murmured several random facts and a few funny comments before she finally woke up. I was still laughing when she pulled me down for a kiss. I waited until she was even more awake to ask her about talking in her sleep. Not that I minded the waiting, Lexa and I were getting pretty good at the kissing thing.

Finally I pulled away. Lexa adjusted me so I was half lying on the ground half lying across her chest. “So about the conversation we had while you were asleep.”

“I don’t talk in my sleep.” She grumbled.

“That’s funny because you were talking to me a minute ago.”

“No I wasn’t.”

I laughed and ran my hand through her hair. “Yes you were.”

“Prove it.” She snarled. I laughed and leaned down and whispered back the best part of her sleep talk into her ear. Her eyes were round when I sat back up. “How do you know that?”

“You told me.”

“Don’t tell anyone!”

I shook my head. “Of course not.”

The morning after I discovered Lexa’s special gift of gab we were able to start walking again. I teased her with the sleep talk information from the time the sun came up until it set that evening.

****

Three days later we were on the outskirt of Whitehouse.

We approached the village on Route 64, one of the main roads through Whitehouse. The village was so small that everyone knew everyone else. We were sure that no one in town would hurt us, so our rifles stayed by our sides.

We went to Harper’s house first because she lived in a new subdivision on the outskirts of town. She was running into the house before the rest us were even halfway up the driveway. We could hear her opening doors and calling for her family. I shook my head when Octavia went to enter the house. It was something she needed to do herself.

She came out a few minutes later. “Nobody is here. There aren’t even bodies.”

“Maybe that means they’re safe somewhere.” I hugged her.

“Maybe.” She sniffled a couple of times. Then she stood straighter and looked ahead. “So who’s next?”

Octavia’s house was the closest to Harper’s so we headed there. Her house was empty too.

The same scene played out with Raven’s house and mine. We didn’t see a single person in Whitehouse. No fluttering curtains, no joyous reunions. Nothing. There weren’t even any dogs or cats around.

I sat on the front steps and stared at the ground. Tank came over and sat down next to me. He leaned against me and licked my hand.

“Griffin, we need to go.” Lexa offered me a hand. “We still have to check my house and it’s a bit of a hike from here.”

“I’m tired of walking Lexa.” I whispered.

She sat down next to me and draped her arm across my shoulder. “I know Clarke. I am too.”

I’d been so sure I’d find some clue about my family’s whereabouts. I’d convinced myself that there’d be a note or a map. Anything. But I knew my mother would never let my father leave a note with instructions to their location. She’d have faith that I’d be able to figure out where they’d gone. But still. A little note would have been nice.

So far the only benefit we’d found in being in Whitehouse was that we could all grab clothes that weren’t caked in dirt and sweat and blood. I was finally able to get rid of the blood soaked shirt I’d been wearing the night Costia attacked me. I tossed it on my bed before heading to the bathroom and used a bottle of water to clean up.

Once I’d replenished my supply of clothing we slowly made our way across a cornfield to Lexa’s house. We all hoped that she’d be the one who would break our streak. That we’d find her family at home and safe. Instead we not only found no one at home and that the house was stripped. There wasn’t any furniture or pictures. Someone had even started taking the drywall down and tearing out insulation.

I stood in the front yard with Aden clutching my hand. Lexa came to stand with us. My forehead pressed to her chest and her arms wrapped around Aden and me. Octavia sat in the grass not far from us. Raven was lying in the grass next to her with her head in Harper’s lap.

None of us knew what the next step was. Our only goal when we’d started walking had been to get home. Now we’d arrived to find everyone else gone. Not only gone but we had no idea where to start looking for them.

“Lexa. What do we do?” I asked.

“We find somewhere to hunker down for now. Your house or Raven’s would be best I think. They’re removed from town but close enough that we can keep an eye on things.”

We started putting our packs back on when I heard a twig snap in the bushes that ran along Lexa’s driveway. I moved Aden toward Lexa and turned with my rifle raised.

There was a young man standing in the bushes. He looked familiar but I couldn’t place him. He was staring right passed me at Lexa.

“Lexa? Is that you?” The young man called out as he stared at us.

Lexa’s hand rose to shield her eyes from the sun. She stared right back. “Thad?”

“It is you!” The man jumped over the bushes and ran toward us.

Lexa put a hand on my rifle, forcing me to lower it. She winked at me and said, “Luke’s older brother.”

“Luke?” Aden asked.

“Yeah.”

I took Aden’s hand again and moved to stand next to Octavia so Lexa could have her reunion in private. Apparently Lexa had a different idea. She wrapped her arm around my waist and held me to her side.

Thad finally reached us and grabbed Lexa in a tight hug. “We thought you were all goners. Where’s Luke?”

Lexa hugged Thad with one arm. At the mention of Luke her hand on my hip tightened. I covered her hand with mine and laced my fingers through hers. She cleared her throat. “He didn’t make it Thad. I’ll tell you all about it later. For now we need to find a place to set up camp.”

Thad looked from Lexa to me. “You’re Bennet’s sister.”

“I am. Do you know where my family is?”

He shook his head. “I’m sorry. They got out before things got bad.”

“Where is everyone?” Lexa asked.

“Oak Openings.”

“The metro park?” Octavia replied. “Why?”

Thad started walking away, motioning for us to follow. “We were spread out for a while. You know, the farmland kept us secluded like we always have been. Only that was a bad thing once the raiders started coming through all the time. So we ran to the woods. We think the raiders are from the cities because they don’t seem to like the forests too much. We decided to fortify it. We all live there now. Well, those of us that are left.”

He led us to the road and gave us directions to the gate. He promised to meet us there later. He was on a scouting mission.

****

We approached the gates slowly. They were two huge sheets of metal. The walls were huge and made of stone. They were like the walls I’d seen in pictures of Ireland, but much taller. They were taller than all of us by at least a few feet.

The gates opened as we approached. There was a huge crowd of people waiting inside the gate. They were all craning their necks to see who the new arrivals were.

I glanced at Lexa, “put Aden on your shoulders.”

Lexa complied with my request before she reaching down and taking my hand. “Do not let go of me.”

I nodded and squeezed her hand. With my other hand, I reached out and grabbed Raven’s hand. Soon all five of us are inside the gate and holding hands.

“They’re going to separate us.” Harper whispered from between Raven and Octavia.

I laughed. “I’d like to see them try.”

We searched the crowd for familiar faces and they studied us in return. It felt like a demented game of red rover. Finally an old woman with a beaming smile walked up to Lexa and wrapped her in a hug. Then she pulled back and started whispering to her. She took Lexa’s free hand and started walked away like she was trying to pull Lexa away. I refused to loosen my grip.

The old woman turned back to me and winked. I was surprised to hear a thick Irish accent when she spoke, “Well now lass, I’ll be bringing her right back.”

“No.” I moved closer to Lexa’s side.

“She’s my granddaughter lass. I’ll not hurt her.”

“I’m sure you won’t but that doesn’t mean I’m letting go.”

Lexa’s grandmother laughed and held both hands up, “Well, you’ve found quite the lass. We’ll be talking inside if you don’t mind.”

She led us through the crowd and into a roughly built cabin. Soon we were settled on actual furniture for the first time in months, leaving our packs by the door but our rifles in our laps.

“You’ll not need those here.” He moved toward me with a hand outstretched, as if he was planning on taking my gun.

Lexa shook her head. “Don’t even try Mamó.”

“Now who’s too good for grandma?” I said quietly. Lexa winked and smiled.

“Where have you been? Where is your cousin?” Lexa’s grandmother had a million questions for us. We answered them all as best we could. Finally, when we were all yawning and fighting to keep our eyes open, Lexa stood up.

“Where can we set up camp?” She asked.

“You can sleep here Lexa. I’ll show your friends to the visitor cabins.”

I immediately reached for Lexa’s hand.

Lexa shook her head. “No Mamó. We’ll stay together.”

“It’s not proper.” The elderly woman arched her brow.

“We’ve been together for almost three months. We aren’t getting split up now that we’re here. Not going to happen.” Lexa responded, her voice loud, like she was ready to fight. And fight they did.

Eventually, after an unnecessarily long argument, Lexa’s grandmother gave in. With a nod to a man standing inside the door we were shown to a haphazardly built guesthouse. The floor was plywood over dirt and the walls were unfinished, no drywall with bits of insulation stuffed here and there. It may not have been much to look at but there were three tiny bedrooms and a living room and what we guessed was eventually going to be a kitchen. It was all we needed.

Lexa and Aden took one of the bedrooms, Raven and Octavia the second and Harper and I took the last one. Harper whispered that she’d be fine sharing a bed with Aden if I wanted to trade. I blushed and shook my head. For some reason sleeping under the stars in Lexa’s arms felt completely different from sleeping in a bed with her.

I tucked Aden in with a lot of kisses. He was asleep before I could even start his bedtime story. Tank was snuggled up under his chin.

Lexa and I sat in the living room for a long time. We’d made it home. In the morning we’d search out anybody who had information on our families.


	21. Chapter 21

I woke up in Lexa’s arms on the couch the next morning. Tank was sitting on the floor in front of us whining. Lexa followed me to the door when I let the puppy out. She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me back against her. “Morning Griffin.”

“Morning Woods.”

She rested her chin on my shoulder. “Ready for today?”

“Honestly?” I felt her nod. “I’d rather sleep for a week and pretend like I already know my family is safe.”

“I know. But we have to find out sometime.” She pressed a kiss to my shoulder and walked back into the house. “You still have me Griffin.”

Once Tank was back in the house and I’d closed the door I stood with my back against it. I hoped that I’d soon have answers about my family, and that my friends would hopefully have answers about their families too but I was worried they’d make us separate. I knew our families would see it as normal, for us to be with them and not each other, but the thought of being separated from any of my friends made me anxious.

“What if they separate us?” Raven stretched and fell on the couch next to Lexa.

“I’d like to see them try.” Harper yawned and repeated my words from the day before as she walked down the hallway. Octavia was close behind her. Moments later Aden ran into the living room. He’d been worried when he woke up alone.

We ate our cold breakfast and went in search of our families after agreeing to meet back at our guesthouse at midday.

I took Aden with me as I searched through the surprisingly large crowd. I saw many familiar faces but no one knew where my family had gone, they only knew that they’d left town. I finally ran into my neighbor who bear hugged me until I could hardly breathe.

“Your daddy gave me a message to give to you.” Rick smiled down at me around the pipe sticking out of the side of his mouth. “He said to tell you that you know where to go.”

“I know where to go?” I repeated.

“That’s what he said.”

“When they left, was anyone… had anyone…” I couldn’t bring myself to finish the question.

“No one was sick. They looked fit as draft horses. Even the old woman.” Rick shook his head in disbelief. “You come from good stock kid.”

He ruffled my hair and walked away. At least I knew they had been safe up to that point. I knew where to go. That was an odd clue. There were many places my family could have headed toward. Aden and I wandered around some more as I searched for familiar faces. I was about to give up and head back to our cabin when I heard a shout. I turned toward the noise.

“Clarke! Clarke Griffin!” I could see a hand sticking up over the crowd.

I waited patiently while the person attached to the hand made her way through the crowd. Finally she broke through and I saw my aunt. “Aunt Callie?”

My father’s youngest sister wrapped me in a tight hug. She was sobbing. “Clarke! I can’t believe you made it!”

“Aunt Callie.” I said her name again and again. I’d honestly thought I’d never see any of my family again.

When she finally pulled away she wiped her tears and looked down at Aden. “Who is this Clarke?”

“This is Aden.”

“Where did you find him?”

I started to explain how I’d come to have Aden with me when the boy in question tugged on my shirt. “The sun’s there.”

“What does he mean?” Aunt Callie asked.

I looked up at the sun. “I’m really sorry Aunt Callie but I have to go back to our cabin. My friends will be waiting for me. Raven will be waiting for me.”

“Raven is with you? She’s okay?” Aunt Callie looked relieved at the mention of my cousin. “You can’t think I’m going to let you out of my sight. I want to see Raven.”

“You can come if you’d like but we’ve got to go.”

I didn’t check to see if she was following. I made my way back to the house as quickly as possible. As I opened the door I could hear Aunt Callie making her way through the people. I held the door for her and smiled when she glared at me. She must have noticed that I tried to lose her in the crowd.

Lexa immediately had me in her arms. Raven was sitting next to Harper on the couch, both staring at the floor. Octavia was leaning against one of the walls. Tank made sure to check Aunt Callie before letting her into the house. For a puppy that was only a few months old, his growls were pretty convincing.

“And who is this?” Aunt Callie stared at me while I was being crushed in Lexa’s arms.

“This is Lexa.” She gave me a quick kiss.

“I’m hers.” Lexa said, as if that explained everything.

Aunt Callie quirked a brow, “you’re her what?”

“I’m hers.” Lexa repeated more slowly as if that clarified the statement.

Aunt Callie had always been big on details so I tried to explain. “You’d call her my girlfriend I guess. But she’s kind of more than that.”

“I see.” She waited a beat. “Are you going to release my niece soon?”

“Sure.” Lexa laughed and kissed me again.

Seeing the blush on Aunt Callie’s face was worth the groans from our friends.

I took a seat on the couch, pulling Aden into my lap. “So, what did everyone find?”

My friends filled me in on their days. The information was almost never good. Harper found her parents’ and brother’s names on a roster for the dead. Costia’s parents and older sisters were on the roster too. Harper found her own older sister in the hospital and Costia’s little sister in the orphanage. She’d already asked if she could take in Costia’s sister.

Octavia also visited the roster for the dead. Her little brother and her parents were listed together. Her aunts and uncles were all on the list too. An older cousin saw her and filled her in on who all was still alive. There were only a handful of them. The cousin also happily reported Octavia’s little sister was alive and well in the orphanage. She’d gone with Harper and asked about taking her sister. The cousin said Bellamy had left town before things got bad. No one knew where he went.

Raven had no information on our family. We knew that her family probably went with mine wherever they’d gone.

Lexa searched out her grandmother that morning and was filled in on the condition of her family. Her father was gone and her mother was close to death. She lost many of her aunts and uncles. Only a few cousins were still alive. Lexa sank into the couch next to me. I took her hand in mine and held on. Her grandmother told her she’d need to speak with her mother about her brothers and sisters. She was the only one who knew there they’d gone.

“I found my mother in the sick area. She woke up when I sat down next to her.” She explained. She rubbed her free hand over her eyes, fighting the tears. “She coughed and smiled when she saw me. I think she thought I was a dream or something. She said she was sorry for leaving me alone. I told her I wasn’t alone because I had you guys. Then I asked about my siblings and she smiled again. She said they were with their other family.”

“With their other family?” Harper repeated.

“What did she mean? Your aunts and uncles?”

Lexa shook her head. “No, she said their other family over and over again. Like I should understand. If one of you can figure it out, please let me know.”

Then it was my turn. In truth though, I’d only seen Aunt Callie. I hadn’t thought to check for a roster for the dead. I turned to Aunt Callie and asked her to fill me in on the condition of the family.

“There aren’t many of us left in the area. I haven’t had any contact with the family out west of course. I know in this camp there are several of us. Uncle Edward and his son Andrew are okay. Gia and Ana are both okay. We all share a house not far from here.”

“That’s it?” Dad’s family was huge. A couple of aunts lived out west but still, there were dozens of relations in the immediate area.

“That’s it.” Aunt Callie replied softly.

“What about J.J. and John? Or Uncle Jack?” She’d mentioned her daughters but not her sons or husband.

“J.J. was taken by the flu. John and Jack were killed by raiders while on a supply run a few weeks ago.”

The room fell quiet. Aden playing with my hands created the only sound.

“Well.” Aunt Callie stood. “Grab your stuff Clarke, let’s go.”

Lexa looked from my aunt to me. “Sorry, go where?”

“She’s going home with me of course.”

“I am?” I questioned.

“Naturally.” She looked around the guesthouse. She spotted our packs in the kitchen and moved toward them. “Which one is yours Clarke?”

“Aden and I are going to stay here for now Aunt Callie.”

“The boy can stay. Or better yet, we’ll drop him at the orphanage on our way by.”

“We’re not dropping Aden anywhere.” I wrapped my arms around him and held tightly.

My aunt stopped moving around the house. “Clarke Griffin, you listen to me. Your father would want me to look after you. You are not living on your own or in sin I might add, with a child that is not yours. Now get your pack and let’s go.”

“Aunt Callie, I don’t know how else to say this so excuse me if it comes out sounding a bit rude.” I cleared my throat. “I’m not going anywhere my family isn’t welcome. Aden and Lexa are my family now. Harper and Octavia are my family. Raven has always been family but you get the point. When and if I leave this house it will be with them.”

“I am your family Clarke.”

“I know that. But I can’t leave them. And I’m not leaving Aden.”

“You’re too young to have a child.”

Before I could argue further Aden twisted in my lap to wrap his arms around my neck. He glared at Aunt Callie. “You stop yelling at my Clarkey.”

That seemed to break Aunt Callie’s concentration. She held up her hands in surrender. “Okay. I can see when I’m defeated. We’ll talk about this again though.”

“Thank you Aunt Callie.”

“If you need anything Clarke, ask around for me. I’ll be here.”

We waited while Tank escorted Aunt Callie to the door. Once he was lying across my feet again I studied each of my friends in turn.

“So. What now?”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we've reached the end! I hope you've enjoyed!
> 
> The sequel, if anyone is interested, could be started sometime this weekend.
> 
> As usual, comments and kudos are welcome!
> 
>  
> 
> (6 April 2017 Update)  
> Lexa's grandfather was changed to her grandmother. Her name is Ona.

The days passed quickly once our plans were laid before us. Days turned to weeks, which turned to months. We built two log cabins for our little family because our families threw a fit when they thought Lexa and I were planning on living together.

Raven, Harper, Aden and I shared one cabin. Costia’s little sister, Ana, lived with us. Harper’s older sister survived less than three days after we’d arrived so Harper started pouring all her grief and energy into raising the little girl. Octavia and Lexa shared the other, the one that was only fifteen feet away, with Octavia’s sister Ava.

We tried to help out as much as we could in the new community. As it turned out, we were only good for going on supply runs and guard duty. The raiders we’d been warned about were some vicious people who were out for themselves and themselves only. Lexa and I watched them gun down a family seeking refuge in the forest when they didn’t offer water right away. We’d been on a walk in the forest, usually an easy way to escape the chaos of the settlement. Only Lexa’s hand over my mouth kept us from being discovered.

Before we knew it, summer was over and winter was approaching. We used books to learn how to can food and preserve meat. By the time the first snow came, we could only hope we had enough food and fuel for the winter. Luckily that first winter wasn’t too harsh. We had enough snow for a white Christmas. Other than that we only had a couple of significant snowfalls. Then spring came. Even with the relatively easy winter, I’d never been so happy to see flowers and leaves.

****

By the beginning of spring I was working in the armory. I had been assigned to the police force in the new village. I’m sure the fact that I was one of seven people who knew how to clean and maintain weapons had something to do with that.

Aden came running in, out of breath. “Clarkey. Lexa said she needs you at home.”

“Is there trouble?” I holstered my new pistol, one I’d found in a hidden drawer in my parent’s room, and grabbed my AR-15.

He didn’t reply, instead he took off out the door. I ran after him, all the way back to our house. I was filled with dread. What had happened? Why was he taking me back to the house in such a hurry?

“Lexa?” I started yelling for her as soon as I was within shouting distance. “Lexa!”

“I’m right here Griffin.” She was standing in the doorway.

I felt relief flood through me. Aden and Lexa were both okay. So who had been hurt? Who was sick?

“What is going on? Your kid-”

“Why is he only my kid when you think he’s been bad?” Lexa sighed.

“Would you answer the question?”

“Nope.” She kissed me again. “Happy birthday by the way. The big number one-nine. That’s practically middle age. Are you going to have a mid-life crisis? And if you do, can I help?” She wiggled her brows and winked.

“Thank you. Nice dodge by the way.” I laughed and gave her a playful shove. “Want to tell me what our kid is up to?”

Lexa shook her head. “Go on in the house, I’ve got to grab something real quick. I’ll be right there.”

“I’m supposed to be on duty!” I called after her.

I walked into the house and called for Tank. When I heard him growling I stiffened. Tank only growled when he didn’t know someone. That rarely happened anymore because the community we lived in was small enough that everyone knew and loved him. He was standing in front of Aden, refusing to allow the boy to move around him and closer to whoever was behind my closed bedroom door.

I leveled my rifle at the door, called for Aden to come back to me and for Tank to heel. Once Tank was standing next to me I called out, “Who ever that is in my room, come out. Keep your hands up and don’t move too quickly. Tank doesn’t like quick.”

The door opened slowly. I saw hands immediately. Two sets of them, one belonging to a man and the other to a woman.

“Come on out. Nice and slow.”

If my rifle hadn’t been on its sling I would have dropped it on my foot when my eldest sister Vaughn peeked her head out the door.

“Clarke?”

“Vaughn?”

I ran to her and clung to her like a nineteen-year-old girl in a life or death situation should cling to her older sister. She wrapped me in her arms and held on tightly while we cried. We didn’t let each other go for a long time. I’d given up all hope of seeing my family in the middle of winter. No matter how hard Raven and I tried to figure out what Dad's clue, nothing ever seemed to fit. So seeing Vaughn was a shock.

Aden finally pulled on my shirt. I let go of Vaughn so that I could look down at him. “Yes Aden?”

“Who is she?” He asked.

I laughed and wiped my tears away. I picked him up so he could look Vaughn in the eyes. “This is my sister.”

“She has a weird name?” He looked from me to Vaughn a few times.

“Yes. She’s got a weird name.” I pressed a kiss to his cheek.

Vaughn looked shock. “We were only out of touch for a year. There’s no way you’ve got a kid.”

“I’ll explain later.”

She introduced me to her boyfriend, Rob Kahu, and we moved to sit on the couch. She was telling me about their journey when she suddenly stopped talking. Her eyes filled with tears and her chin quivered.

“I thought you were dead.” She whispered.

“I thought you were dead too.” I sniffled. Seeing either of my sisters crying always made me cry.

She shook her head. “No. You don’t understand. I found this at the house.” She pulled my blood soaked shirt from her pack. She tossed it on the couch next to me. “I actually thought you were dead! Why is your shirt soaked in blood?”

Aden, who was sitting on the floor in front of me, clapped his hands over his ears and started humming. Of course he knew the story and didn’t want to relive the memory.

I pulled his hands away and told him to go tell Harper we were going to have guests for a few days. She worked at the school where she taught the younger kids so he’d be gone for a while. Lexa came in as Aden ran for the door.

Aden stopped long enough to give him a hug and shout, “bye Mom!”

“Mom?” Vaughn narrowed her eyes.

That was something Aden did whenever he met new people, he called us ‘mama’ and ‘mom’ to freak people out. Lexa snorted out a laugh and pressed a kiss to my temple. Before I could explain anything my sister started talking.

“Oh, we’ll get to that, but first,” Vaughn glared at Lexa and cleared her throat. “The shirt Clarke?

Lexa looked down at the shirt. I saw the ghost of that night pass over her face.

“I was attacked by one of the girls in our group. She thought I was a threat.” I held my hand over the scar on my neck.

“What kind of threat?” Vaughn stared at the shirt

I shrugged. “To her happiness I suppose.”

“How did she attack you?” Rob asked.

Lexa walked around the couch and sat down next to me. She picked up the shirt and glared at it, as if glaring would erase the blood.

“She caught me alone while I was on guard duty. She had a knife and she definitely wasn’t afraid to use it.” I took the shirt from Lexa and handed back to Vaughn. I wrapped one of her hands in both of mine and spoke again, “She cut my cheek first.” Lexa raised her other hand to run her fingertips over the scar. “Then she had me in a headlock sort of thing with the knife to my throat. Our friend Nyko, he’s the doctor here, was there and tried to talk her down. She was too far-gone though. She pressed the knife into my neck and there was some slicing and she drew blood. She kind of raised the knife up to stab me when Lexa jumped her from behind.”

Vaughn’s eyes moved from me to Lexa. “What happened to the girl?”

“She died.” I replied. I pulled Lexa’s hand away from my cheek and held it tightly. Her finger tracing my scar kept drawing Vaughn’s attention to it. “Lexa surprised her. I got the knife out of her hand and stabbed her.”

“So your shirt is completely covered in dried blood because someone was jealous of you in the end times?”

“Yes.”

“Only you Clarke.” Vaughn shook her head. “Only you.”

“It isn’t an event we like to relive.” Lexa said quietly.

My eldest sister stared at my girlfriend for an uncomfortable amount of time. “You’re Ilian and Lincoln Woods’s little sister aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Is Ilian… are they?”

“I don’t know.” Lexa shrugged. She’d struggled with not knowing since she’d found out her brothers and sisters left town before anyone was sick.

“How do you not know?” Vaughn looked like she didn’t believe her.

“My mom told me they’re with their other family. She died before I could ask her what that meant.”

She nodded slowly. I hadn’t even realized she knew Ilian Woods. Before I could ask her why she wanted to know about Ilian she smiled sadly. “This end times business sucks!”

****

The next day over breakfast, Vaughn lectured me about not trying to find our family. It didn’t matter what I said in my defense, she thought I should already be looking. Not even Harper’s coolly logical arguments would dissuade Vaughn’s rant. Raven and I both tried to explain we’d spent the winter building up supplies and searching for clues. But she wouldn’t listen to any of it.

“Vaughn, we have no idea where they are!” Raven finally yelled.

“Then you haven’t thought about it all that hard.”

I shook my head. “Don’t judge us Vaughn. We’re ready to start looking now. Do you know where we need to start?”

She started to answer my question but was interrupted by Lexa walking into the house. As was our habit she wrapped me tightly in her arms and kissed me.

“I can see why you’re reluctant to start the search.” Vaughn rolled her eyes.

“You’re judging again.” I pulled away from Lexa to stick my tongue out at my sister. Then I pressed another, slightly more innocent, kiss to my girlfriend’s lips to annoy my big sister.

“This is about our family Clarke.” She sighed.

“Fine.” I turned and waited for Vaughn to inform us on the location of our family.

She waited until Raven was looking at her too. Then she took a deep breath, “Wyoming.”

**Author's Note:**

> As always, feel free to drop me a line here or on [Tumblr](https://imaginaryhistorianme.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> As always, kudos, comments, and questions are encouraged! And encouraging!


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